I Like Big Butts and Science Knows Why!

jada stevens

From Queen’s ‘Fat Bottomed Girls’ to Sir Mix-a-Lot’s ‘Baby Got Back’ to Nicki Minaj’s ‘Anaconda’, people have been writing songs about women with large derrieres for decades, if not longer. Long assumed to be based purely on the increasing physical friction (and therefore pleasure) applied to a penetrating penis by the ample thighs and buttocks of a female with a thick rump, the male attraction to hefty behinds was so intriguing to graduate students of University of Texas at Arlington and Bilkent University in Ankara, Turkey they launched a study to determine the root of this persistent attraction.

Male participants in the joint study were asked to view 300 silhouette images of different women with varying degrees of spinal curvature and asked to rank them by attractiveness. Results found that the men found a curvature of roughly 45º – that is, the buttock line angling down from the spine at 45º – more appealing than other angles, lending credence to the idea that it’s the very size of the ass that determines its appeal. Dr. David Lewis of Bilkent University called the study’s findings “an independent and previously undiscovered standard of attractiveness.” He explained that such spinal curvature would have “enabled ancestral women to shift their center of mass back over their hips during pregnancy, a time during which there is a dramatic forward shift of their center mass.” It’s not all aesthetics and carrying babies in comfort, though, as Dr. Lewis explained. “Ancestral women who possessed this degree of lumbar curvature would have been able to forage longer into pregnancy and would have been able to carry out multiple pregnancies with a reduced risk of spinal injury.”

big butts

So, next time you’re talking to a charming woman with a substantial behind and you feel like making a comment on its appeal, why not try “Excuse me, but how many offspring have you spawned and do you think you could handle another while finding me some snacks?” Go on, see how quickly she turns and shows your her amazing ass… as she leaves in disgust. Knowledge comes at a price, folks, especially in regards to sex.

Reality KingsReality Kings review

Beatin’ on a Budget! with Reality Kings

Reality Kings

When a good deal can mean the difference between piss-poor quality pirated smut infecting your PC with the tech equivalent of herpes and a self-satisfying sexual experience beyond compare, it’s good to have someone in your corner fighting to keep your wallet fat in these uncertain times. Each of us at Mr. Pink’s knows the difference between a site that’s an incredible bargain and one that’s merely not quite ripping you off, so in an effort to highlight worthwhile deals and discounts benefiting our readers I present to you, friend, the first installment of Mr. Pink’s brand-new recurring feature blog: Beatin’ on a Budget!

This week it seems most appropriate to point all you horned-up cheapskates in the direction of a modern classic: Reality Kings. A network initially built around a few inexpensive “reality-based” adult concept sites, but soon infamous across the ‘net, Reality Kings has probably coaxed a few ejaculations from you already, but now it wants more. Home to MILF Hunter, Round and Brown, 8th Street Latinas, Cum Fiesta, and Big Naturals, among other sites, this consistently impressive 42-site network holds a very strong archive of more than 2,000 scenes, each of them exclusive and original, as well as a very healthy update schedule keeping up the streams of stunning 720p and 1080p HD videos.

The Math:
Breaking down a $17.95 month at Reality Kings shows what value this discount delivers. At 42¢-a-site and less than 1¢-a-scene, this Reality Kings deal is a steal if ever there was one and will surely keep you beatin’ on a budget!

Calling Preston Parker

Preston ParkerA couple of months ago there was some shifting in the Bang Bros lineup, both behind the scenes and in front of the camera lens. Preston Parker, the voice and penis who pasted the faces of so many greenhorn pornstars at Facial Fest, the man in the van with the camera in hand for the infamous Bang Bus, has apparently departed Bro-town for the greener pastures of Reality Kings.

The first evidence to point to Preston’s departure, at least the first evidence I saw, was during Asa Akira’s inaugural Bang Bus expedition back in mid-April when the guy wielding the camera first spoke. “Those aren’t the usual dulcet tones we hear from Preston,” I thought. I was soon proven right when one of Asa’s soon-to-be-conquests boarded the bus and remarked that although both Asa Akira and the bus itself were familiar to him, the director was not. Coming very close to looking a gift horse right in the kisser, this cunning linguist said that he was expecting “the other guy,” prompting Asa and the new director to share a chuckle and inform the snatch-happy beach bum that there’s a new guy in town. His name? Well, actually, that particular nugget of information is somewhat still eluding me. I did, however, find Preston Parker alive and well on another critically acclaimed reality-based hardcore network.

Reality Kings might not have an exact replica of either Facial Fest or Bang Bus for Preston to waltz right into, the transition from BB to RK can’t have been too difficult. Preston has already appeared in a dozen episodes for Reality Kings, mostly for Street Blowjobs, which finds him back behind the camera shooting porno newbies sucking him off and taking his hefty load across their faces, but also for Moms Bang Teens, Big Naturals, First Time Auditions, Round and Brown, MILF Hunter, and In the VIP, the latter of which sees him get all liquored up with a gang of wildly unreserved sexual dynamos for an orgy he won’t soon forget.

So, while the reasons behind Preston’s relocating from Bang Bros to Reality Kings remain a mystery, fans of the wisecracking’ seed-spewing former gay-for-pay performer are still able to get their fill of Preston’s powerful facials in many Reality Kings updates to come.

Preston Parker Reality Kings