Mr. Pink’s Must-Haves: Reality Kings

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A nonsense claim was bandied about the news media in the mid-00s that at least 35% and as much as 80% of the Internet was of a pornographic nature. In 2011, Julie Ruvolo of Forbes Magazine sought a more accurate number and found Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam, co-authors of A Billion Wicked Thoughts, who informed her that their research pointed to porn comprising just 4% of the million most trafficked websites, a scant 42,337 adult sites. Though that number seems barely significant, there is nevertheless so much gosh darn pornography on the Internet that it can seem impossible to make sense of it all. As a porn reviewer, that’s where I come in. Well, more specifically, a new recurring blog feature from yours truly, Mr. Pink’s Must-Haves, a semi-regular, randomly-scheduled attempt to cut through the crap and simply say, “Hey, porn fan – look at this amazing smut!” I’ll be pointing to one site, network, or online performer who is undoubtedly worthy not only of your attention but every last dime of your porno budget. And to start us off in fine fashion…

It’s all too easy to forget that barely a decade ago, mainstream porn wasn’t concerned with extreme bondage, hardcore gangbang fantasies, pseudo-incest, or heavily tattooed women sporting mohican hairstyles: it was all about “reality” or whatever could pass for it. And back then, Reality Kings ruled the roost with on-the-prowl style sites like MILF Hunter, 8th Street Latinas, Money Talks, and Cum Fiesta. Soon Reality Kings expanded, embracing absurdity (It’s Real, No Faces) and exhibitionism (Captain Stabbin’, Street Blowjobs) to dismal failure and long-term success, respectively. Now, with the recent addition of expert dicks Chris Strokes and Bruce Venture to POV site Pure18, InTheVip’s endless stream of excitable new talents, stronger HD videos and high-res photos than previously seen, and a new generation of incredible young women taking We Live Together to more tangible erotic heights, Reality Kings is clearly still one of the most significant adult networks today. Not content to miss out on current trends altogether, Reality Kings not only has a pseudo-incestuous endeavor of their own, they have one of the best: Moms Bang Teens, newly supplemented by an all-female take Moms Lick Teens. And, if you join through Mr. Pink’s, it’s cheap too, only $17.95-a-month.

Where would we be without Reality Kings? There’d be no solo cameramen picking up horny cougars outside strip malls. There’d be no pervasive myth that nightclubs routinely see orgies break out. And, most terrifyingly of all, millions of otherwise satisfied porn fans would still be holding back billions upon billions of sperm. Now, that, my friends, is a reality few of us could live with.

Reality Kings review

I Like Big Butts and Science Knows Why!

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From Queen’s ‘Fat Bottomed Girls’ to Sir Mix-a-Lot’s ‘Baby Got Back’ to Nicki Minaj’s ‘Anaconda’, people have been writing songs about women with large derrieres for decades, if not longer. Long assumed to be based purely on the increasing physical friction (and therefore pleasure) applied to a penetrating penis by the ample thighs and buttocks of a female with a thick rump, the male attraction to hefty behinds was so intriguing to graduate students of University of Texas at Arlington and Bilkent University in Ankara, Turkey they launched a study to determine the root of this persistent attraction.

Male participants in the joint study were asked to view 300 silhouette images of different women with varying degrees of spinal curvature and asked to rank them by attractiveness. Results found that the men found a curvature of roughly 45º – that is, the buttock line angling down from the spine at 45º – more appealing than other angles, lending credence to the idea that it’s the very size of the ass that determines its appeal. Dr. David Lewis of Bilkent University called the study’s findings “an independent and previously undiscovered standard of attractiveness.” He explained that such spinal curvature would have “enabled ancestral women to shift their center of mass back over their hips during pregnancy, a time during which there is a dramatic forward shift of their center mass.” It’s not all aesthetics and carrying babies in comfort, though, as Dr. Lewis explained. “Ancestral women who possessed this degree of lumbar curvature would have been able to forage longer into pregnancy and would have been able to carry out multiple pregnancies with a reduced risk of spinal injury.”

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So, next time you’re talking to a charming woman with a substantial behind and you feel like making a comment on its appeal, why not try “Excuse me, but how many offspring have you spawned and do you think you could handle another while finding me some snacks?” Go on, see how quickly she turns and shows your her amazing ass… as she leaves in disgust. Knowledge comes at a price, folks, especially in regards to sex.

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Beatin’ on a Budget! with Reality Kings

Reality Kings

When a good deal can mean the difference between piss-poor quality pirated smut infecting your PC with the tech equivalent of herpes and a self-satisfying sexual experience beyond compare, it’s good to have someone in your corner fighting to keep your wallet fat in these uncertain times. Each of us at Mr. Pink’s knows the difference between a site that’s an incredible bargain and one that’s merely not quite ripping you off, so in an effort to highlight worthwhile deals and discounts benefiting our readers I present to you, friend, the first installment of Mr. Pink’s brand-new recurring feature blog: Beatin’ on a Budget!

This week it seems most appropriate to point all you horned-up cheapskates in the direction of a modern classic: Reality Kings. A network initially built around a few inexpensive “reality-based” adult concept sites, but soon infamous across the ‘net, Reality Kings has probably coaxed a few ejaculations from you already, but now it wants more. Home to MILF Hunter, Round and Brown, 8th Street Latinas, Cum Fiesta, and Big Naturals, among other sites, this consistently impressive 42-site network holds a very strong archive of more than 2,000 scenes, each of them exclusive and original, as well as a very healthy update schedule keeping up the streams of stunning 720p and 1080p HD videos.

The Math:
Breaking down a $17.95 month at Reality Kings shows what value this discount delivers. At 42¢-a-site and less than 1¢-a-scene, this Reality Kings deal is a steal if ever there was one and will surely keep you beatin’ on a budget!