Tag: Sex Advice

Missy Pink,

My wife and I have been married for 7 yrs. Our sex life is good, our marriage is good. We’re both in our mid 30’s and are pretty open when sharing what excites us in bed, but, for the last few months I’ve been fantasizing about gang banging, with her being the only woman. I haven’t mentioned it to her, only because I’m afraid of what her reaction to that might be. We share kinky things, but this might be over the top. Have I become too perverted?

The More the Merrier

Dear Friend;

Have you become perverted? “No.” Are you human? “Yes.” I think the key word you mentioned in your question to me was, “fantasizing.” There’s a big difference between what flows through your mind for excitement and what is actually reality.

Sex is like everything else that consumes our lives, we’re always looking that bit of something extra to put it over the top. For instance, something as mundane as cooking dinner, a recipe that’s been made maybe dozens of times, we find ourselves adding a new ingredient, just to spice it up a bit, add a little difference so you don’t take a bite thinking, “Damn, this is a repeat of the exact same thing we had two weeks ago.”

When we first discover sex during puberty, the only thing needed to achieve an orgasm is a secluded place where our parents won’t find us, while we look through the underwear section of a catalog. But, as we get older, what was once new, becomes old and it takes a bit more to really put the razzle into our dirty dazzle. Sometimes, when masturbating, the thought of a woman you passed on the street might be enough to manifest a scenario in your mind that will have you oozing sperm over your helping hand…but, then there may be a time when you suddenly have to incorporate that same lovely woman into something like a BDSM scene, where she’s shackled to an old dungeon type brick wall, totally naked, with clothespins on her labia and someone torturing her with a vibrator set on high speed. The mind is truly a magnificent organ.

If you truly have no intentions of wanting to slip into the role of being either a participant or maybe even a cuckold husband, and it’s merely fetish thoughts to put you over the edge, then there’s no cause to keep it a sexual secret. Tell your wife first and foremost that it’s only a role play type of bedroom aphrodisiac, and who knows, she may entertain the thought and add her own spin to things, talking dirty in your ear while you assume a missionary position, telling you of all the shafts she’s servicing while you watch and jack off.

Variety is the spice of life and fantasy can be the spice for sex. With a mutual understanding and an open mind, there are no limits to lust.

 

Missy Pink,

Prepare yourself for an odd sexual issue. My boyfriend and I have lived together for nearly 3 years, and, we complement one another beautifully, he’s the yin to my yang. Daily life and nighttime adventures have always been more than pleasing…until lately. A little over a year ago, he proposed marriage, of course, I accepted and we have been working on the plans and such, all of which we’re enjoying tremendously. But, his personality has gone through some odd changes, especially during lovemaking. He now talks! Now, I don’t mean saying dirty things that would spice up foreplay and orgasm, no, nothing like that, he talks about things such as what he wants for dinner the next night, how bad the traffic jams were that morning on the way to work, mundane and what I see as very odd topics when I’m trying to concentrate on cumming. These things could be discussed over the dinner table, but not while he has my legs over his shoulders and my libido on the rise! How do I tell him to shut up and fuck me?
— Blabbing In The Bedroom

Dear Friend;

Well, it certainly sounds as if you have a chatty fiancé! From the way you expressed your issue, things sounded almost storybook or fairy tale perfect, UNTIL the topic of marriage and the wedding plans began. Whether you realize it or not, you stated a timeline that is a huge insight into what the problem might be, one that I think you may already have considered, but possibly want to hear it from someone that’s not sharing the sheets and the weekly menu with you.

It could be that your boyfriend is feeling some anxiety, uncertainty and/or fear about the approaching wedding. You yourself mentioned how in sync the two of you have always been, nearly three years of a fairy tale romance, which tells me, if you’ve been feeling such jubilation, then, your boyfriend has felt the same way, more than comfortable in how things are. He may be experiencing a bit of the cold feet syndrome, worried that once the “I do’s” are uttered and the birdseed has been tossed, things are suddenly going to change. You know the old saying, “Sex changes after marriage, you’re suddenly in bed with a relative.” He could be feeling the growing pangs, and they aren’t the type to bring you closer together.

By complaining about the traffic situation or making it clear what he’d like to have on his plate the next evening for dinner, it sounds like he’s making his place in the relationship known. He may be living these days by the thought, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” He needs to be convinced that having his signature on the marriage certificate isn’t going to change the way life has been all along with you. It was the love the last 3 years has created that brought him to the point of proposing, now it’s time to assure him, it can only get better over the next 50 years.

It’s time to talk, get counseling, whatever it takes to ease his fears. Go for more oral sex, he certainly can’t talk with his mouth full…so keep him between your thighs as a reminder of what good times are yet to, “Cum” through married life.

Missy Pink;

I’m a bit frustrated at the moment, but the first thing I want to say is that no way am I a prude, I enjoy having a good time as much as the next woman, and, I don’t mind things a bit on the kinky side, but, my boyfriend really has me puzzled. Our sex life is good, and it’s often, but, for the past few weeks, he immediately reaches for his cell phone when we’re done, to take pictures of us right after cumming. I think it’s disgusting, he doesn’t understand my way of thinking and now we’re not having sex at all!

– Not Picture Perfect

Dear Friend,

Well, I can honestly say, this is the first time I’ve ever been asked about sexual afterglow pictures. Thanks to cell phones, “selfies” is one of the go-to words, and, we are certainly familiar with the décor of everyone’s bathroom these days, since the majority of shots are taken, standing in front of the mirror.

Has your boyfriend explained exactly why he wants the image captured the moment after orgasm is reached? Is it something he finds satisfying by the look on your faces, knowing you’ve just completed a love making session that has both of you happy? Is he the only one seeing these pictures, or are they shared with friends over a breakfast burrito before they start work each morning? I guess there are quite a few questions I would need answers to – to really address your issue. I’m sure they’re the same you’ve already asked of him.

If his photogenic mood only kicks in, right after the sperm kicks out, I would have to wonder about his motives, but, maybe that’s just the woman in me, my estrogen says there’s something a bit odd. Try to narrow him down for answers, give him the benefit of the doubt and go into it with the assumption that he’s mesmerized by your afterglow beauty and wants to open his phone gallery to relive those moments again. If you don’t get the replies to satisfy, then, I’d say sex with you is on hold, if he enjoys selfies so much, apply it to not just pictures, but masturbation as well. If he’s going to take shots of personal porn, then he’ll need to keep one hand free for filming!