Tag: Sex Advice

Missy Pink,

So I’m an older male, 38 years old, but my sexual excitement is like that of a teenager, meaning I can’t hold out long enough to pleasure my wife through intercourse, I cum too fast. She doesn’t complain, but it bothers me, and I don’t know how to make sure she’s satisfied and not disappointed.

Quick Release

Dear Friend;

There are many things about sex that statistics seem to rule, such as, and among other things, “How long should intercourse last?” Too many studies, too much data gathered, with an enormous amount of money spent and complexes created by the bottom line of their investigations. No two people are alike in any manner, which includes their sexual practices, and buried upon a hill somewhere is no stone to overturn, holding all of the secrets of life and sex.

If your wife hasn’t complained, that’s always a good sign. Have you asked her if she feels sexual satisfaction when in bed with you, or are you going by your own assumption and feeling of inadequacy? There are times when we’re our own worse erotic enemy. If we could free our minds and just enough the moments, however many they may be, that is where the true satisfaction lies.

Locker room talk with the boys, movies, television shows, and your favorite porn sites all paint a picture that gives a high bar to live up to. The fact that you’re this concerned about your spouse’s orgasmic satisfaction speaks volumes, and kudos to you for being thoughtful.

Maybe your concentration should turn more towards foreplay than the actual finish line. What the male gender forgets at times is the fact, for women, being intimate isn’t always about a mind blowing orgasm, it’s the physical and emotional closeness of being with someone we care about that makes it special and endearing. Spend time applying oral sex, allow her to cum once, or more of course, to feel her excitement rippling across hard nipples and a swollen clitoris. Touch her gently, use your fingers in a tender manner to turn her on from head to toe. The more aroused she is, the more excited she’ll feel about having you penetrate her, and also, how much she’ll WANT you to cum, to know that you have reached completion, caused by making her feel like a woman first of all.

There are no written rules, it’s all about what feels good to you both. If you continue beating yourself up over this issue, you’re going to find much enjoyment leaving your sexual sessions.

If it would make you feel better, see your family doctor, rule out anything physical and then just pride yourself on the fact that you still have the sexual drive of a younger male, I’m sure your wife appreciates that fact about you much more than you realize.

When you get home from work, have a talk with the Mrs., tell her how you’re feeling and what your doubts are, honesty first, orgasm second. Once you iron out all of the details, turn dinner down to simmer, you’ll be getting plenty to eat in the bedroom!

Missy Pink,

This is going to sound like one of the oddest questions you’ve ever gotten, but here goes nothing. My wife and I, after 20 years of marriage have gotten pretty stale. We both work outside of the home, but, for some reason we go our own ways, no conversation, barely any sex, just a routine that we both have gotten tired of. She was reading an article to me the other day from one of her woman magazines about cuckolding. I’d never heard of it, but she is quite interested. I’m not sure if she’s just looking for a way to have sex with someone else, or, if she’s warming up to a fetish lifestyle. I admit, I’m a bit submissive for the most part, and it does intrigue me. Is this kinky way of living healthy for a relationship?

– Waiting To Watch

Dear Friend,

First of all, let me say this, no one can say if cuckolding or any other form of sexual pleasure is considered healthy for a relationship, no one can answer that but the people directly involved. I will say, talk it through thoroughly with your wife, play out every possible scenario you can think of, the actions and reactions, and even when you think you’ve come to grips with what it will be like, think a little harder, because it will be more powerful than what you have forming in your mind when it comes to the reality.

You said you’re a bit submissive, which, I can see where that would play into things, but, actually not as much as you think. When a person thinks of being submissive, images of being tied to the bed, blindfolded, being led around by a choker collar to service the dominating person that has you performing oral sex upon them, and orgasm denial for yourself come to mind. There’s more to being a cuckold than just sitting, being humiliated and controlled by another person. This is your spouse, someone you’ve grown very accustom to in the last 20 years, giving her body to another person while you watch, that takes more than just a submissive mind frame.

Granted, this lifestyle, along with swinging and other fetish criteria does appeal and work very well for many couples. They find it enhances their relationship in ways that make them much stronger and durable, but, something tells me, a small percentage of them just happened to come across a magazine article and were ready to jump into it while discussing the weather over a morning cup of coffee. If you’ve never thought of your wife being one that could enjoy hardcore excitement with another person in front of you, then, something may have changed somewhere, and you need to explore deeper than just the notion of a wild sexual act.

I’m not saying for you to partake, and I’m not saying for you to avoid, I’m merely advising you to be certain this is something you both feel equally comfortable with, because this is one of those instances, once it’s done, there’s no undoing what’s happened. So, proceed carefully and slowly, and should you both come to a mutual agreement that cuckolding is in your near future, then I’d say, get comfortable and enjoy the show!

Missy Pink,

Alright, so, this is girl to girl talk time. I’ve been dating the same guy for nearly 9 months, and, I like him, he’s a good friend, and I would do anything in the world for him, but he’s boring me out of my mind! Every night it’s the same thing, we grab a bite to eat, watch television, he falls asleep on the sofa, I go to bed, and then it starts over the next day. I’m not married because I’m not into the routine and rut of that kind of life, I want to be out and doing things, painting the town red, being wild and naughty on occasion, he’s holding me back and I don’t know how to let him down easy. Any good break up lines you’d care to offer?

– Dumping Routine

Dear Friend,

Well, it certainly sounds as if you’ve made up your mind on the course of your actions. Have you tried talking to your boyfriend, explaining how you feel things are in a rut and there’s a strong difference in your personalities? Sometimes communication can make a huge difference, open doors you only saw as windows.

Apparently you’ve done a nice job of hiding how you really feel, because if he had any inclination you are as unhappy as you voiced in your question, he probably wouldn’t feel so comfortable in the evenings, to just fall asleep on the sofa and feel that everything is right with the world. Yes, routines happen, yes, ruts can be fallen into, but, it takes two to make life exciting and invigorating for both parties.

You’ve got to be willing to be open with your feelings, and, he has to be cooperative about climbing from the couch and through the doors of a nightclub now and then. Did you ever think, maybe he falls asleep more out of boredom than weariness? Perhaps he thought this was the type of lifestyle you enjoyed, and, he wanted to make you happy. It sounds like there could be two sides to this story and with neither of you talking, then that means no one is listening.

There is no such thing as a good break up line, what there is however, is a thing called honesty. Open up, tell him how you feel, either he’ll agree to being more of a party animal or he’ll have to accept your decision to end things. For future reference, if you’re going to spend that much time in a relationship, disclose what you’re looking for quickly, during the getting to know one another stage of dating, that way, no one is blindsided and you’ll feel better knowing you’ve made yourself clear from the beginning. You get what you ask for, so, it’s time to ask!

Hi Missy Pink,

I think maybe my question is one a lot of guys have, but might be afraid to ask. I LOVE oral sex, there’s nothing like a hot blow job to really put me in the mood. My problem is, I can never find a girl that likes taking it the way I like giving it. It’s a turn on to grab her head and force it down on my stiffness, really owning her mouth, but, usually the babes get mad and put up a fight with their head when I try to do that. Why won’t women let men take control? I’m 29 years old and feel like I’m in my prime, but, I’m not getting what I want.

Macho Guy

Dear Macho,

And I use that term loosely. To be 29 years old, I have to say, you still have a lot of growing up to do. Unless you’re in a relationship where there’s the dominance and submissive side between partners, there is no control to be had. Sex, like many other aspects of life can be mutual and equal, and when you find that balance, that’s when you’ve matured and will find the women that enjoy going to bed with you. When you start using your head….you’ll get more of it!

Being force fed through fellatio is possibly one reason why women shy away from the act of oral sex, to them, having their face bashed up and down on a boner isn’t exactly the type of foreplay that excites them. Lay back, what’s your rush, let her lick and suck in a rhythm that’s not only pleasing to her, but also will become very exciting for you, and, you’ll receive much longer intervals of her satisfying sucking.

Of course, that’s not saying your desire to feel as though you are indeed a macho man should be swept under the rug. When things really heat up, there will be those moments when entwining your fingers through her hair and offering some mild guidance would be a turn on, but, when pulling her face down too far, possibly hitting gag reflexes, that certainly kills the mood quickly.

Some women may enjoy that type of brutal blow job, and then it will be a match you’ve been waiting for, but give your relationships time, grow together, experiment, do roll playing, have fun in bed, it will enhance all aspects of foreplay and the hardcore excitement as well.

Just because your mattress is firm doesn’t mean you have to be. Soften up a bit on your demeanor and appreciate how hard you’ll become in the process.