Male & Female Masturbation Myths Exposed

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Masturbation Month is rounding the home stretch, so it seems as good a time as any to debunk some of the myths and rumors both men and women have heard about their self-love practices. Like last week’s tips for women from Lelo, this slate of informational tidbits and tantalizing factoids comes courtesy of sex and lifetsyle (and hardcore porn) site BaDoink.

Speaking to seologist and sex educator Logan Levkoff, PhD about the male masturbatory habits, BaDoink discovered that whether single or spoken-for, satisfied or not with their relationship, males are prone to masturbate as pure force of habit or to barely-consciously attend to physical needs. Levkoff said frequency hardly matters unless it’s causing problems: “If you masturbate many times a day and you’re missing work or giving up on sex with your partner because of it, consider seeing a sex therapist.”

Masturbation might not score you an STD but it’s not always entirely safe either. Forceful bending of an erection can result in penile fracture, a painful and unsightly injury that will eventually heal, but not before repulsing any sexual partners you might be daring enough to reveal it to. (He might’ve been injured mi-coitus, not at home alone with a bottle of shampoo and a dirty sock, but just as Prince Yashua.)

Although nobody has apparently figured out the physiological reasons for it, it appears masturbation, while healthy, doesn’t offer health benefits equivalent to sexual intercourse. Sex can for men improve blood pressure, decrease pain, and improve the health of both the heart and the prostate. Apparently masturbation doesn’t quite get that far. In fact, Tobias S. Kohler, MD, MPH of Southern Illinois University School of Medicine tells us that even the makeup of ejaculate differs when coaxed via masturbation and sex, quipping “It appears that not all orgasms are created equally.”

For women, many masturbation myths also cloud feelings about pleasuring oneself, so let’s let BaDoink dash them too, huh? Here’s a three-point list of what might be done in porn but should be left out of one’s own masturbatory habits and, at the very least, never inflicted upon a woman who’s deemed you worthy of their sexual company. “Vigorous Fingering,” which leaves fingertips and pussy lips sporting a friction burn is out. Instead slide two fingers inside and curve them upwards to find a seriously erogenous area. Whether it’s lips or legs, “Spreading Them Open,” is generally a no-no. Let limbs fall where they may and don’t insist upon widening the space between your thighs just because they do it in porn. Porn’s visual; masturbation is personal. In porn, vibrators seem to induce orgasms with a very light touch and although that’s the case for some women, it’s rare. BaDoink’s Lola Lovely says she needs to hold a vibe firmly against a particularly receptive part of her genitalia for it to have any real effect. Reminding us that real masturbation is “a lot less sexy and a whole lot more frantic” than what’s portrayed in porn, Lovely reminds us of the most important rule of female masturbation: do it yourself and find what you like. Or, for guys trying to please their ladies: let her show you the ropes and follow her lead.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some laundry to do. Alone. With a bottle of shampoo and a dirty sock. Until June arrives.

Avri masturbating at FTV GirlsFTV Girls review

Orgasmic Lies – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink;

I’m almost too ashamed to write this letter, but, with you being a stranger it’s easier for me. My husband feels disgust towards me and I can’t really blame him. For the past 10 years I’ve been faking my orgasms, and, I did a very good job for a long time, he thought he was bringing me sexual pleasure which enticed him into cumming as well. What I didn’t tell him was that intercourse just doesn’t do it for me. Yes, we do oral sex in foreplay and I can orgasm like that, but, he wants me to do it again when he’s inside of me and I always lie and put on a show in the bedroom to make him think I’m going wild underneath him. Last weekend, after we finished, I thought he’d gone to sleep, as usual and I slipped into the bathroom, where I have my vibrator hidden and was in the process of finishing myself off when he opened the door and caught me. Now he says he feels like less of a man and he’s disgusted with me, and, I’m disgusted with myself.

Orgasmic Lies

Dear Orgasmic Lies;

What you’re suffering from is shared by a huge percent of the female population, it’s nothing to be ashamed over, but, it is something you can work on, and be sure to include your husband while doing so, it will be an addition to your foreplay routine that will stimulate both of you.

It’s apparent you have access to the internet, since you emailed your question to me. Start doing some research, I think you’ll be surprised at how many references you’ll find to not being able to achieve an orgasm through intercourse. It’s not an easy thing, telling your mate that you’re faking the moans and groans of pleasure, but, if there’s love, there’s understanding.

There’s been enough falsehood in your relationship, now is the time for honesty. Explain to him that it’s nothing about his manhood, or his ability to make you feel like a woman, it’s just something within you that keeps those flood gates closed while he’s housed in your saturated stall. If you’ve made it a practice of using a vibrator for clitoral stimulation for the excitement of an orgasm, your body has grown accustom to that certain stimuli, and, it could be you just need to be introduced to another means of moisture. It might take a little time, but, it will be well worth it in the end, and during for that matter, because in the process you’ll both be learning much more about each other’s bodies and desires, and that’s always a good thing.

Don’t be shy about bringing your buzzing buddy into the bedroom, share what feels good with your husband, let him use it on you, the more open the two of you become, the more satisfaction you’re going to feel from many different facets of your marriage. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t be as hurt as he is right now, which says the foundation is there, you just need to continue building upon it.

Who knows, before long, you may be ready to toss the batteries from your sex toy and open your thighs wide for the orgasmic pleasure of having your husband plugged into you!

Kinky Clothes – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink,

My problem is with my girlfriend. We’ve been seeing each other for about a year and she has a fetish about her panties. She can barely open her dresser drawers, where she has what looks like hundreds of pairs she’s bought. I don’t mind that part, they’re pretty and sexy and she looks hot wearing them, but, she doesn’t want to take them off when we’re having sex. She says they make her feel wild when the silky material is rubbing against her woman areas. I have to just slide the crotch of her panties to one side to get into her and in all this time I’ve never had sex with her completely naked in bed. If her panties could talk, there’s stories to tell, but I’m not finding a very happy ending.

Kinky Clothes

Dear Kinky Clothes ;

Your question reminds me of an old saying, “Panties aren’t the best thing on earth, but they’re right next to it.” With that being said, it sounds as though your girlfriend definitely has a fetish for silkiness against her intimate erogenous zones. It’s a bit difficult when a certain kinky trait is not shared by both in a relationship, but, compromise belongs in the bedroom, the same as it does in the office.

Maybe it’s time for you to do some shopping, purchase a few pair of sexy, crotchless panties , giving her the ability of leaving them on, and still opening the gateway of gooeyness for your venture. Offer to get a bit wild and take a shower with her, when she’s totally naked at that time, lather up the lust and get clean and dirty at the same time. There are ways around your issue and not make it a deal breaker to your relationship.

Everyone has a little something hidden in their psychological make-up that is a turn on for temptation and tease, for some it is noticeable, for others, it may remain in just a fantasy state of mind. When the warmth of your body rubs against the softness of her underwear, which stimulates her skin and nerve endings, she finds that to be a major turn on, and, since you didn’t mention anything about their being issues as far as achieving orgasm and such, I’d say things must be satisfying as long as she can have… Hanes her way.

You want her to be satisfied, and you know what it takes for that to happen, although, your excitement needs to be addressed as well, which means a heart to heart talk and a meeting in the middle. Don’t make the conversation, “brief,” be as open as her thighs, and as truthful as the fit of her panties. If it means going from the shower to the shaft, before she’s stepped into her bloomers, then so be it. Don’t throw your relationship in the trash, because she won’t keep her panties in the drawer.

Oh, and who says her panties can’t talk, after all, there is a set of lips inside of them, move in for a closer reception, and maybe what you have to say in return will make her want to shed the silk for the natural side of hardcore pleasure.