Playboy Taps Crimson for Tips

Camille CrimsonWe at Mr. Pink’s have been big fans of Camille Crimson and The Art of Blowjob for some time, but it seemed like everyone else was still favoring puke-inducing deep-throats as vicious as they seemed uncomfortable. Lately, however, the world seems to be waking up to Ms. Crimson’s unique porn styling and her devotion to, well, the art of giving blowjobs. Especially noteworthy is Crimson’s inclusion in, of all publications, the granddaddy of modern day adult entertainment, Playboy.

Writing for the Playboy site’s Sex & Dating section, Crimson details five key ways to ensure you not only receive great blowjobs, but are worthy of them, too.

Presentation is key, Crimson says, advising would-be tonsil-ticklers to wash up, trim excess follicles, and ensure underwear (if worn) is free of stains, holes, and loose waistbands. Ditch your crusty Fruit of the Looms, fellas, and spring for a couple pairs of Calvins.

Inspiration. Here, mainstream porn takes some criticism from Crimson, one of the few outside voices attempting to curb the hyper-aggressive face-fucking prevalent in today’s porn. She suggests warming up your lady (and yourself) with some “sensual, respectful, and beautiful blowjob porn”. (Gee, I wonder where you’d find such stuff…)

Communication is arguably the most direct path to oral satisfaction. “Without getting too bossy, voice your desires and get what you want out of the blowjob,” she advises. This relates to the culmination of the act, too. “It’s not bad to want to come in her mouth, on her face, on her breasts… but give a heads-up before you do and leave it open for her to suggest an alternative if she wants.”

– While she’s exhausting her jaw and tongue for your pleasure, you could at least show some Appreciation. When you’re going down on her (which we’ll get to in a moment), you want to know you’re doing something right, right? Well, then, tell her when she’s pleasing you either with a few whispered words of encouragement or simply moaning and thanking her afterwards.

– The most enjoyable of all Camille Crimson’s blowjob tips: Reciprocation! She might’ve given you a headie for the ages, but unless you’ve been attentive to her needs – use your fingers, your mouth, a toy, or make her wait her turn – it’s not likely to be a thrill repeated anytime soon. And, for chrissakes, don’t just go through the motions! Help her feel the way you felt and you’ll be well on your way to a permanent grin the envy of all men.

Dirty Dreamer – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink,

I guess I should begin by saying I’m a 35 year old woman, never married and not a professional at relationships period. I’ve always been very shy and to be honest, I was in my late 20’s before losing my virginity. I reached puberty early in life and have always had a high sex drive, but, have always used masturbation as my release. The problem with that, the fantasies I would come up with. I have a wild imagination and as the years went on, it took extreme things to really have me satisfied, even with high powered sex toys involved.  Now that I am having more dates and being more active, I’m not finding myself as turned on by the men in my bed as I can get from my own imagination, have I ruined myself?

Dirty Dreamer

Dear Dirty,

There’s nothing written in stone as to what is a suitable or acceptable age for losing your virginity, some are earlier in life than others, but thank goodness, we always are in possession of the box our cherry came from! If the world were open and honest about taboo topics, we’d probably find the majority of the population experienced their first orgasm by their own hands, and even if they find themselves in a steady relationship, marriage, whatever the case may be, there’s still something familiar, comfortable and exciting about stealing those private moments of masturbation, it’s like cumming home to an old friend.

It sounds as if even though your saturation was solo generated, it was done for a very long time, and I’m guessing frequently, so, you achieved a routine and not just an orgasm. No one knows their body like themselves, but, when you’re in the right relationship, the exploration and training sessions can be extremely stimulating. You didn’t say if your dates of late have been more of the one night stand type, or those where you’re building on something  a bit more long term, but, if you are seeing someone on a steady basis, explain to them you bloomed a bit later in life with your shared lust and you need someone to take the time to make you feel like a woman, even in the presence of a man.

If a guy truly wants to be in a relationship with you, he’ll not just see it as a challenge, but also as a portal into a deeper connection, both physically and emotionally. Share some of your taboo fantasies, while sharing pillow talk during foreplay, explain in detail the things that would turn you on like the switch of your vibrator, he’ll become more aroused and so will you by feeling as if you’re “living out” your dirty dreams. It could turn into a win/win sexual situation.

One thing to keep in mind, when you close your eyes, you can be anywhere you want to be, you’re not bound to the bed you’re sharing with your lover, or by yourself for that matter. It’s okay to fantasize even when you’re with someone, that’s all a part of human nature, just because your sexual interludes now include a partner doesn’t mean you have to shut down the erogenous zone of your brain, the two can go hand in hand nicely. Be yourself, be wild, and be honest, and if he can’t handle your physical needs for orgasm, then maybe he’s not the man for you, but luckily, as the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea, so toss your rod back in the water and see if you pull back a keeper. After all, with your practice, you’re already a “master-baiter!” Hang a sign on your door that says, “Gone Fishin’” and then head for the watering hole!

Cougar Hunter – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comMissy Pink,

I’m embarrassed to ask about this but I don’t want to talk about it to anyone I know. I’m 27 years old, my Dad got remarried about a year ago, to a woman more his age, 51, and much older than me. But that doesn’t stop me from fantasizing about her. I’ve never thought of a mature woman before, but there’s something about her that drives me crazy. I think she has thoughts too, a few times she’s brushed her boobs against me and even played footsy under the table, which makes me have to masturbate to get rid of the hard-on she causes. Am I a terrible guy or just a bad boy?

– Cougar Hunter

Dear Cougar Hunter;

Well, I can honestly say, you’re not the first male to be attracted to, an older women, we cougars do know how to flirt in a way that will make your blue jeans suddenly feel quite stiff in the front.  Normally it happens during high school, when the hormones are raging and you’re carrying your books from class to class in front of you to hide the erection you’re sporting and can’t get to go down. A buddy’s hot Mom, or a certain teacher that looks delicious with her glasses perched on her nose, a deep cleavage showing from the front of her blouse, and of course those long legs that are crossed when she sits on the front of her desk to make a point, yes, normally at that age of budding puberty, a stiff wind will cause the same reaction for you.

Now, it seems to me, with you being a bit older, that doesn’t rule out the fact that a MILF can always bring fantasy and desire, but, you’re certainly old enough to not want to play in your Dad’s sandbox. If your step-Mom is flirting with you as well, shame on her. She’s taking advantage of your presumed stamina and stiffness, not to mention feeding her own ego as an older woman that can still cause a younger man to jack-off with thoughts of her on his mind.

There are certain, unspoken rules in life that offer imaginary boundary lines not to be crossed, and having wild, unbridled, hardcore sex with your Dad’s wife would certainly be on the list. I’m sure in your mind she is so hot and stimulating, that when all the blood rushes from your brain to your testicles, the moral aspect is lost somewhere between those two areas, but, for just one moment, once you’ve managed to bring yourself to an orgasm, think about what it would be like afterwards. Would you feel guilt? Would she? Would you want to do it again or would you feel so badly over the adultery aspect that it would put a strain on the family dynamics? Let’s face it, the next backyard cookout could be a bit uncomfortable, would you be passing the potato salad or making a pass at your step-Mom?

If you’re truly that turned on by the fact it’s an older women, there are plenty others in the world, you’re eyes have been opened, now all you have to do is look. There’s nothing wrong with desiring the mature and sexy creature that you know will have the erotic experience to make you feel as you have never felt before, and, at the same time, you’re proving to her that she doesn’t belong in the kitchen baking cookies, but rather draped across your bed, ready for you to bring the youthful pleasure one more time. But, something tells me, it’s the taboo side of the fact this is your Dad’s wife, it makes her off limits, it makes it so hot and naughty, the act of sneaking, the wild heat that courses through your veins at the possibility of getting caught, all of those fetish filled feelings that make you want her even more. If that’s the case, then allow your mind to catch up to the age of your body…. grow up, don’t ruin the relationship between you and your Father.

If she’s coming on to you as well, then I’d say Dad already has problems he’s not aware of yet, and, if you don’t act upon her offers, then someone else probably will, and she’ll keep looking, but if it comes out that she’s not as faithful as he thought, don’t compound his pain by knowing his own son betrayed him as well as his wife.  He gave her a ring, but he gave you life.