Lingering Lust – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comMissy Pink,

So consider me an abnormal woman and maybe even a bit on the crazy side, but I have grown so tired of my boyfriend’s want to have hours of foreplay! You probably don’t hear that much, but now and then I would much more enjoy a quickie, I’m in the mood to do it, let’s do it and get it done, but he thinks if sex starts at 8 pm, it shouldn’t end until midnight or after. I’m tired of the diddling, I want it fast, furious and straight to the hardcore. Am I really that different from other women?

Lingering Lust

Dear Lingering;

I must admit, your complaint isn’t one to be heard on a daily basis while sharing pink drinks with your best gal pals on a Friday night. Most women would give their favorite handbag for a man that would be as attentive and romantic.

In trying to see both sides of the coin, it sounds as if you’re trying to make change in your relationship. Even though it’s simple enough to switch your brand of laundry detergent, or you opt for a bolder flavored mouthwash, when it comes to what happens in the bedroom, often routine and comfort, play such a huge role, any straying from the normal can knock your world off its axis.

Just like with any issue of disagreement in a relationship, the key is communication. I’m sure you don’t think twice in mentioning your car isn’t running quite right and you’re going to take it in for a tune up the following day, so, why not use that same approach when wanting a tune up to your intimate routine.

I have to say one thing, kudos to your boyfriend for being the dream of a high percentage of the female gender, most of the time women are left laying beside a snoring man that rolled over, shared a few thrusts, landed his dismount and resumed slumber before his side of the sheets had time to chill. And, in trying to be sympathetic to both sides, I can see where there would be times when you’re just not in the mood for extreme foreplay, you want to feel the closeness and the release, but in a more, caveman style of taking. No one has the same sexual urge every night of the week, wants are changed as often as underwear.

As I mentioned above, it’s time to have a talk, the tongue can be used for more than oral sex, so utilize it. Make a nice dinner, and let the relaxation surmount with each course, and then, as you’ve wiped your mouth with your napkin, then start talking a bit dirty from the cleaned surface. Use finesse , make sure your lover understands you appreciate his attentive nature and you’re not saying you don’t ever want to spend hours in play mode before going in for the delivery, it’s just there are times when your animalistic urges say, “Take me, take me now!”

Who knows, maybe he’s trying to be a gentleman before juicing and there could actually be those days when you’ve been on his mind all afternoon and he’d enjoy coming home, finding you bent over the dishwasher and just manhandle you with passion. There’s a lot to be said for hardcore pleasure, just as words aren’t few in the realm of intimacy either, the trick is finding the combination that works for you both, and I think this time, it’s best to let your lips do the talking instead of letting fingers do the walking.

Torn Up and Confused – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink,

This may be one of your strangest questions, but here goes. I’m 34 years old, and had been married for 6 years, then I found out my wife had been cheating on me throughout most of our marriage and I divorced her immediately, which was 4 years ago. After the divorce, I’d lay in bed at night thinking things over, and I found myself getting turned on by her being with someone else. With my new girlfriend I discussed how I get excited at the thought. At first she would tell me dirty stories, lies if you will about being with other men and I would be harder than ever before, then we made an agreement to be “open” in our relationship with the understanding that it was for the physical only. We both have had sex with another person, and told each other about it, which was hot, but I found out the other night she has seen the same guy multiple times now, without me knowing of it, and I feel like she’s being as unfaithful as my ex-wife, how do I explain my hurt?

Torn Up and Confused

Dear Torn;

Well, you are the classic case of wanting your cake and eating it too, however in this case your girlfriend is the cake and you’re upset because someone else is eating her!

There are certain aspects and guidelines to be honored if a couple decide to be open in their relationship, not to mention a huge amount of trust, it’s not for everyone, and unless you’re extremely lucky, someone is going to be emotionally hurt and left feeling as though something went horribly wrong, and that’s where you are now.

It might be time to live a day in your girlfriend’s panties and see things from her point of vaginal view. I assume she came into this relationship because she had feelings for you, and then, you spring the idea of sharing sex with others on her and for whatever reason, she went along with it…maybe it was hurt because she knew you wanted to sleep with someone else, but even more so, got turned on at the thought of her doing it, so she gave it the ol’, “Hell with him, if that’s what he wants, that’s what he’ll get!” frame of mind. It could also be if she’s a bit low on self esteem and self respect, she may have felt that would be the only way to keep you, so, she did it, thinking it would turn you on and make you happy.

It’s hard to demand monogamy when you’ve been given the green light to fool around. You may have agreed to keep things physical, with no emotional attachment to anyone, but, did you ever discuss laying down rules that you would inform one another before any sexual scenario would transpire, and, did you factor in that females see physical as emotional 99% of the time, so, even though there’s a fine line, the heart and loins can easily cross it. Maybe her “new” lover restricts himself to only her, and that’s what she had hoped for from you, so, she keeps going back where she knows she and no one else is wanted between the sheets.

There are so many factors to fornication outside of a committed relationship, many of which are hard to consider as rules when the heart doesn’t abide by guidelines, and the brain…well, it has a mind of its own as well. Human nature is the grand marshal in any pornographic parade, and when you requested your girlfriend put herself on display for extracurricular activity in the bedroom, she did as you wanted, and now all of a sudden you’re ready to pack up your box of 64 Crayola Crayons and say the game’s over.

It’s time you decide what you really want, who you really want and then stake claim to your choice. It sounds to me like you need to be on the unlimited dating list and not a steady and stable guy to any one woman. Don’t be angry with your girlfriend, don’t even be angry with yourself, just do some soul searching, the problem lies in what you want as an aphrodisiac and how far you’re willing to go to get it.

Losing the Desire – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink,

Before my husband and I were married, he had an insane streak of jealousy, which never bothered me, it was flattering and showed me he cared. Now it’s been a little over two years since we became man and wife and the jealousy is gone. He’s noticed other guys checking me out and even men he works with will make comments, and he’ll laugh and shrug it off. I’m not sure how to take his new action, or lack of it, should I start to flirt back with other men to see if I find a spark?

Losing the Desire

Dear Losing;

There are a number of ways to take into consideration what the cause of your issue may be, and even more ways to handle it, but certainly not the one you’re thinking of.

Just because before your marriage he showed rage when someone was attentive towards you doesn’t mean he loved you more than he does now, and with only two years under your belt of marital bliss, now is certainly not the time to test his affection.  You may have seen his jealousy as a compliment, but for him, it may have been the fact that he loved you so much, he was afraid of losing that love, a bit of insecurity on his part, but, now and then, you’ll find that trait in men and women alike. Once you said the, “I do’s,” he began to feel more at ease, you married him, you love him, you’re man and wife, and, as the vows go, “until death us do part.”

It’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s just that he’s confidant in his trust within you, so, should you begin some innocent flirtation back with the men that are tossing their balls into your court, he will probably witness as you not loving him the way he felt you did. Your bond is still on a strong learning curve right now, I’m sure you both learn something new about one another every day, those are the traits that will make you fall in love all over again, and keep the already present love stronger. However, a bit of mistrust and he’ll start second guessing his comfort zone. And, let us not forget, sometimes even innocent flirting for whatever reason, can lead to something else. Even though you don’t have any intention of being unfaithful, all it takes is one vulnerable moment, and a pair of bedroom eyes laced with charm, and you may shed your inhibitions and your clothing, leaving you consumed with guilt.

The old saying, “less is more” can certain play into this situation, the less you give him cause to question, the more your marriage will bloom and become everything you’ve both wanted it to be. Instead of turning on your feminine wilds with one of his co-workers, flip the switch for your spouse. Show him you’re appreciative of his trust and that you don’t want to saturate the sheets with anyone else. Slip into some sexy lingerie, light a few candles, and introduce your body to him in ways he’s not experienced before. Remember the learning curve I mentioned? Well, that pertains to the emotional as well as the physical. Leave the lights on in the bedroom, assume an un-ladylike position, offer him everything that you have to give, go a little wild, it’s okay to partake in hardcore pleasure, after all, you’ve got a piece of paper framed on the living room wall and a ring on your finger that gives permission.

Drained From Desire – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink,

I am one of your older readers and inquirers, but I hope there are no age limitations. I am a 64 year old female, my husband is 68 years old. Our sex life was wonderful when we were younger, a bit sparse as the family was growing up, and then once they moved out with lives of their own, our sessions increased in frequency again. Unfortunately for the past few years, and I’m sure it’s age related, we were down to just a couple sexual sessions a year, which was making my husband feel like less of a man. We visited our physician and he was put on male enhancement medication, which works beautifully, to the tune of nightly love making. My problem is, I cannot keep up with him. He has a pill to give him the stamina that I don’t feel, and would very much enjoy cutting things back to just once or even twice a week, but, he refuses to lessen his dosage. I don’t want to say no to him, but I’m a tired old woman!

Drained From Desire

Dear Drained;

So many times in letters I receive, they seem to teeter on that line of the difference between genders, and this is one of those cases. Women enjoy being held, cuddled, hand holding, a soft kiss to the cheek, all of the expressions of intimacy that can at times leave us as fulfilled as a full blown love making session. But, for men, things are a bit different. A man many times will measure himself by the notches on the bed post they will mentally make each time they’ve raised their flag on mount vagina, and, when the flag isn’t flying as high as it once was, it not only devastates the ego, but robs a male of a self worth.

In your husband’s mind….and his boxer shorts, he feels like he’s 20 years old again, and, he’s not only impressing himself, but he feels as though he’s back to being the man you fell in love with years ago. His bones may ache, and he may make old man sounds getting in and out of his favorite recliner, and, quite possibly he has to put on reading glasses to see the TV Guide, but, when he feels the rise of what use to be flaccid, none of those other signs of age matters to him.

Since you sought out the advice of your physician for the original issue, it’s apparent you feel comfortable talking with them, so, my advice would be to turn that direction once more. Have him explain to your husband that the over use of anything can be bad, not to mention there are certain side effects associated with some of the male enhancement drugs, so, if it’s represented as a medical limitation, it may be an easier pill for him to swallow.

On the nights when things at Grandma and Grandpa’s house go wild, make the most of it, wear him out a bit, put on something sexy, maybe give a little smack to his butt and call him, “Stud.” Reassure him in a not so apparent manner that the once or twice a week is plenty for you, he satisfies your female urges enough to carry you through until the next time.

I’ve always said, men have two emotions, hungry and horny, if you see them without an erection, make them a sandwich! So, keep the cold cuts coming, and when he does take his dose of meat mood medicine, forget about a snack and put out a full spread for him!

Aroused and Alone – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink,

Why can’t my boyfriend and I be on the same page in the bedroom? I like wild sex, where I can turn myself loose and really enjoy the experience, but he says I’m acting too slutty and then calls off the whole episode, leaving us both sexually frustrated. I don’t mind using toys and masturbating, I’ve always done that, but the real thing is needed too. I’m not sure what to do, other than look around for someone else that fits my horniness.

Aroused and Alone

Dear Aroused;

First of all, kudos to you for “taking matters into your own hands,” and by admitting you do. Masturbation has always had a huge taboo cloud lingering overhead, and it’s a shame. I think it started when we were growing up, scolded by someone that may have caught us with our hand around our cookie jar, making it something dirty and to be kept secret. There’s nothing wrong with getting in touch with yourself, a quick release through the middle of the afternoon never hurts, but, it’s also nice to know when the sun goes down, there will be a cock going up!

One thing people seem to forget is everyone is different, no matter how much alike our partners may seem, and the similarities are what caused the spark when you first met, we are all unique, so, we need to find strength in the differences as well. You said you enjoy being wild during sex, but is that for every time you slip between the sheets, or just on those nights when your hormones are raging and you have the need to have sex and not just make love?

Some men enjoy a woman that takes control, the one that kicks off her sneakers and slips into stilettos, digging them into the sheets and riding his erection like it’s an unbroken stallion, and then, we have the men that is led by their ego for erotica, they need to feel they’re initiating things, and doing in the way that makes them feel manly, or, it just doesn’t work, and instead of hearing heavy breathing, you hear snoring.

Just because he’s not responding to your ways doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, nor does it mean he doesn’t want you, he just wants things a bit more tame, you want them more wild, so, like every other aspect of a relationship, compromise is called for. Spend a day together, hit your favorite nature path and go for a long hike, talk about whatever comes to mind, share dinner in a casual restaurant where you both feel comfortable and then let the conversation turn to the intimacy part of your relationship. Let your partner know you’re not going to leave him just because he’s not willing to sound proof the bedroom for when you climax.

He may, for one reason or another, hold more inhibitions than you, which doesn’t mean his style of sex is wrong, or right, it’s just different, so embrace it and work it out. If you get along in all other aspects and you see a real future, then being open in your communication and even offering to be a bit more reserved if he’s a bit more assertive, a meeting in the middle if you will, is more than worth the effort.  So before you dig your teeth into his neck and kick the lamp off the nightstand, let him brush your hair back from your face and tenderly lick your nipple. Go for the give and take method of sexual pleasure, it may save your relationship and lessen the amount of money you spend on batteries for your sex toys!