Halloween Roundup Part 2

Jessie AndrewsIn yesterday’s spooktacular installment of Mr. Pink’s Blog you read about Brazzers, Bang Bros, and Reality Kings’ attempts to creep you out while keeping you hard this Halloween. Now that The Big Three are outta the way, it’s time to delve even further into this year’s carnal celebrations with sites that cater to, well, a more refined clientele.

It seems only fitting that the masters of domination and subjugation, Kink dot com, would render a highly decadent take on Halloween with Mistress Bobbi Starr and the enslaved Tara Lynn Foxx. On Kink’s anal-focused site, Everything Butt, we find “Anal Haunting” a scene loaded with punishing rectal penetrations, anal stretching and gaping, and extremely potent rough sex. Imagine being Tara this Halloween, awoken from your coffin to a steel dildo-wielding Bobbi Starr! That’s enough to scare the bejeezus outta anyone!

Over at My XXX Pass, relative porno newcomer Jessie Andrews throws on a black and blue wig, sets her pumpkin pail down, and gorges on the biggest sucker she could find: a thick, long, and very stiff dick. Taking it so deep she fully earns her place in Throated’s Halloween update, Jessie gags, spits, tears up, and even tries to talk with her mouthful. Who taught you table manners, girl? Cannibals?!

Still with the orally fixated, the delightfully erotic Camille Crimson might not seem like the type to puke mid-blowjob, soiling her kinky Supergirl costume, that’s because she has perfected The Art of Blowjob. Offering something unique to her fans this Halloween, Camille refuses to take her lover’s cock in her mouth, instead stroking his shaft with licking and sucking his balls as if they were Everlasting Gobstoppers. As he inevitably blows, you’ll surely realize that Camille’s manual and oral skills alone aren’t responsible for his excitement – she’s wearing a pumpkin-orange slip so thin it’s practically see-though. That’d be enough to have any guy aching for some suction!

Quite possibly the most accomplished producer of spooky concept porn is the rather ironically named Joanna Angel. After winning the AVN Award for Best Web Premiere in 2011 for her Halloween parody, Dong of the Dead, this Burning Angel celebrates Halloween ‘11 with the ambitious Fuckenstein! Joanna’s eerie black-and-white parody of the original monster movie stars James Deen as Dr. Frankenstein, Ramon Nomar as The Monster, and Ms. Angel herself as The Bride, complete with lightning-strike bouffant hairdo. The major difference in this version of Mary Shelley’s classic horror tale, of course, is that The Bride takes a double-teaming from The Monster and his creator. A far cry from the social commentary of the original, sure, but a damn sight sexier!

Keep your third eyes peeled, dear readers, ‘cause if more horrific horniness hits the WWW before midnight of the 31st, “Putrid” Mr. Pink’s will have the complete, skin-scorching lowdown. Goreanteed!

Halloween Roundup Part 1

Bang Bus HalloweenEvery October people all around the world eagerly await Halloween, the one day every year when it’s not only acceptable to dress as a demonic sadist, ghetto street hooker, or zombified Captain America, it’s downright expected. The porn industry has always enjoyed some gussied-up Halloween antics and with the rise in popularity of parody porn, adult studios and websites seem even more eared towards presenting a decadent costume play that is strictly for the grown-ups. In this two-part blog, Mr. Pink is going to highlight some of the stunningly spooky pornographic achievements that have come to our attention in the lead up to All Hallow’s Eve.

Those randy rascals the Bang Bros have already added not one, but two Halloween-themed scenes to their highly-rated network, employing Nordic superstar Puma Swede and a quintet of lesbionic hussies for some all-out costumed degeneracy. Featured on Bang Bus, Puma Swede dons a kinky nurses uniform reminiscent of Kill Bill’s Elle Driver and roams around Miami in a pumpkin and spiderweb filled van, pulling random guys off the street and asking them to dump their candy directly into her mouth. It’s all there in “Trick or Treat BITCHES!”

Over at the Bros’ relatively new all-girl site, Party of 3, the sapphic quintet – Alexis Fawx, Mercedes Lynn, Anastasia Morna, Blarie Banks, and the bootylicious Rachel Starr – get together and simply try on some costumes. Although they giddily prance around naked, it’s not until Rachel starts grab-assing whoever is wearing the spandex cop uniform that things get crazy. Forty-odd minutes of finger-banging, clit-licking, dildo-riding, strapon fucking lesbian action later, everyone agree that “Halloween Pussy Party” is one shindig they won’t soon forget.

Never ones to be outdone, Brazzers have pulled out all stops in their high-concept Halloween production, The Sexorcist, starring Sophie Dee, Zoe Voss, and Jordan Ash. Featured on Pornstars Like it Big, The Sexorcist sees supreme British whore Sophie playing a women driven to furious displays of unrestrained sexual aggressiveness by the demon that has possessed her. Concerned roommate Zoe gets caught in the demon’s grasp and suffers multiple squirts to the face, forcing her to call in The Sexorcist himself, Father Ash, in the hopes that this holy man can rid Sophie of her otherworldly affliction before she nails him, too. Somehow I kinda doubt he’s successful.

Staying well within the Earthly realm as it their M.O., Reality Kings throw their own Halloween bash on Money Talks. Resident cocksman Voodo takes to the streets in “Sleeping Booty” to pick up everyday hussies for a debasin’ good time in the RK van. One such girl, Megan Brown, is paid to lay down and allow her snatch to become a 3D canvas as Voodoo creates a snarling werewolf out of her upper thighs, complete with fake fangs between her lower lips. Hey, just because it’s “Reality,” doesn’t mean it has to make sense!

Tune in tomorrow, guys and ghouls, for the further adventures of “Monster” Pink for more sapphic Samhain celebrations and tittyfucking trick-or-treating.

Sex Toys for Boys… and Girls, too!

Ola Sex ToyIt’s fair to say that women usually reap the benefits of advancements in the sexual aid industry. Pornography, most of which is clearly targeted to an exclusively male audience, aside, the majority of high selling toys, aids, and novelties focus on providing increased pleasure for women. Until recently, men have had to be content with using their own two hands or a soft plastic sheath to attain heightened sexual pleasure. With the release of Ntimate Inc.’s “male pleasure system”, FleshWrap, the limits of your potential sexual pleasure may have increased ten fold. That is, of course, if you don’t mind pulling your balls away from your shaft and trapping them in this distant position with a vice-like metal bar/plastic ring apparatus; or, as Ntimate put it, “gently stretch[ing] the scrotum forward and lift[ing] the testicles upward.”

Women, of course, aren’t being neglected, as the FleshWrap claims to increase their pleasure during intercourse by helping your testicles and scrotum rub against your partner with every stroke.  As intriguing as the FleshWrap might sound to a woman, who wants to let you girlfriend literally trap your balls in a vice? If you’re think mostly of her, you do have a few other innovations to try out.

After causing a minor sensation at AVN’s Adult Novelty Expo back in January, but only now being made available to the public, the revolutionary Ola vibrator from Minna Life is already making substantial waves in the female pleasure market. The vibrator, which features a groundbreaking interface that enable the wielder to control vibrational patterns by varying the pressure of her grip on the innovative touch-sensitive handle, may cost a whopping $165, but who can put a price on sexual satisfaction?

Devilish DarlingFor those ladies with less money to throw around but a delightfully sinful desire for a new toy to mess with, there’s always Hustler Toys’ new Devilish Darling. This 8-inch waterproof silicone vibe, available in red and white, is embossed with devil horns and hearts and joins, just in time for Halloween, such carnal curiosities as Hustler’s metallic studded Disco Stick and Dia de los Muertos-themed Scandalous Skull vibrators, and costs a more affordable $67.95.

As for the FleshWrap… I’m game. Which is to say, Mr. Pink’s certainly wouldn’t turn down a complimentary Ntimate FleshWrap, for review purposes, of course. Thanks in advance Ntimate!