Month: November 2013

Hey Missy Pink,

I need a female opinion on something, but I don’t want to talk to any of my girlfriends about this issue. I work in an office, and I’ve been there for nearly 4 years. About 14 months ago a new manager was hired, and this guy makes every part of my body tremble. He’s so hot! I try to keep it to myself, but I find myself flirting with him now, even when other co-workers are close by, I have this need for him to know he turns me on. He’s not married, but is engaged and his fiancé is beautiful and very nice. I’m 30 years old, suppose to be mature enough to handle bumps in the road, but there’s just something about this guy. Should I pursue him or just leave it to my sexual fantasies?

– Boning The Boss

Dear Friend;

There’s nothing like the imagination for making things nearly unbearable to deal with. It sounds as if you’ve become pretty bold on making your intentions known, however, the one thing you failed to tell me is, has he responded to your advances? Does he show the same type of interest in you, or is it purely one-sided? You mentioned he’s engaged, which says he has a commitment with someone else, but, has he given you signs that he’s willing to step over the boundaries of being faithful?

They way you wrote your letter almost sounded desperate, as if you have to have this man or else! And, by the question you asked of me, “Should I pursue him or just leave it to my sexual fantasies?” That told me two things immediately, the first being, you must be feeling some sort of guilt or apprehension, or you would have just acted upon your sexual attraction and never taken the time to pen your letter to me, so, there’s something gnawing at you, and, the second thing is, it’s as if you’re wanting my blessing before you charge. Well, I’m about to take away your charge card, because I cannot say, “Go get him!”
The fact you’ve not confided in your closest gal-pal speak volumes, that tells me there must be something that would bring a quick negativity from her, so, you’ve come to a friendly stranger instead. You don’t mention another thing in your letter, what your marital status is.

If I were a betting woman, I’d say your hormones are running away with you. Yes, there are times when paths cross with another person and the attraction can be astronomical, more than difficult to ignore. You’d rather toss him down on the office floor and leave rub burns on his butt while you ride him in hardcore style, and, I’m sure the image has gone through your mind to do so. I’m also willing to bet, that the feeling is not mutual, because if you’ve been hot for his body for 14 months, and you’re just now writing to me, then he’s not in the same place in time as you are, his affection is for someone else, emotional and physical.

There are times in life where dreams and fantasies can lead us to places it’s hard to return from, but, many of those times are ruined should they manifest into reality. We build up our hopes so high, that if something does truly take place, it could never measure up to the dream, and, we’re left disappointed in a way we never saw coming. So, if you want to keep the dream alive, I suggest hitting the snooze button. Keep the desires to yourself, become more professional in the office, allow him to see you as an asset to the company and not a giddy female that wants into his Fruit of the Loom boxer briefs.

Fantasies are a wonderful thing, when understood and not taken out of context, and 99.9% of the time, when not acted upon. With that being said, they would also make for wonderful masturbation material, so, stop on your way home from work and buy a pack of batteries, charge up your buzzing buddy, take a hot shower, and then get in touch with yourself, but restrict it to your bedroom and your mind.

If there’s any wetness to be felt in the office, restrict it to the water cooler!