Happy Horny Holidays! Pt. 1

Nicole AnistonWith Christmas rapidly approaching, you’re not doubt stressing over gifts for loved ones, meal preparations, what to do if you run out of beer on the 25th, and how to avoid your Father-in-law’s constant belittling of your career choice and financial stability (or lack thereof). Thank ol’ Saint Nick the greatest porn networks of the WWW have started celebrations a little early by providing you with Christmas-themed hardcore scenes that take the edge of the all-too-common holiday season blues. Here’s a rundown of what you’ll find on the ‘net’s smuttiest domains:

Brazzers kicked things off with a bang on December 20th on Teens Like it Big, where you’ll find gorgeous young Lexi Bloom sitting on Santa’s lap and feeling something press against her thigh. Soon enough, Lexi receives a very special face-covering gift from ol’ Saint Nick! Over at MILFs Like it Big, black-haired, busty scrooge, Lesley Zen is taken to task by Keiran Lee for her lack of Christmas spirit.

Reality Kings serves up a solid pair of holiday-themed fuckfests, the first of which is on lesbian site We Live Together. Bree Daniels, Sammie Rhodes, and Chloe Lynn agree to exchange presents early, but Bree and Sammie race ahead and try out their brand-new dildos on Chloe before she even has a chance to unwrap her gift. Euro Sex Parties keeps it festive with Rebbeka and Vanessa Gold distracted from their tree decorating by two guys bearing presents of a highly unusual nature.

– Not to be outdone by those zany Europeans, the Naughty America team have already thrown up one fantastic Christmas scene on their Naughty Office site, with another one, this time for My Dad’s Hot Girlfriend arriving on the 23rd. The former stars newcomer Paige Turnah as an office drone who giddily drags her studly co-worker away from the Christmas party for some private celebrations; the latter sees a unfathomably sexy Ms. Claus (Nicole Aniston) double-teamed by two studly elves when they’re supposed to be helping her cart toys to an orphanage.

Now, if only you get that WiFi-enabled tablet computer you asked for, you can escape to the bathroom when it all gets too much, lock the door, and vicarious plunder the pussies of Santa’s foxiest little helpers while your family muses about whether potato salad should or should not include bacon bits.

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