How Does Lindsay Lohan Feel?

Fleshlight - Lindsay LohanProfessional tabloid fodder, Lindsay Lohan has finally accepted Playboy Magazine’s long-standing offer of a nude pictorial. When originally asked a few years back, just as her star was beginning to wane, Lohan had yet to bare her breasts onscreen or in print and, feeling she risked losing some credibility, was reported asking for a cool million to get her gear off for Hugh Hefner’s infamous publication. Now, after numerous run-ins with the law and trouble with addictive substances, as well as already revealing her breasts in artsy-fartsy photospreads in New York Magazine and Harper’s, it seems Lohan is just desperate enough to finally accept Playboy’s offer – and for a little less than her demanded $1 million, too. Lohan’s equally controversial mother, Dina Lohan, has reportedly confirmed that the shoot has taken place and that it was “tasteful.” Bummer.

After hearing the news of Loco LiLo’s plans with Playboy, Fleshlight, the makers of the world’s most popular male sex toy, have thrown the troubled star a proverbial bone. Like pornstars Stoya, Jenna Haze, and Jesse Jane before her, Lindsay could be the next Fleshlight girl if only she’d agree to have moulds made of her vagina, anus, or mouth. Steve Shubin, CEO of Fleshlight has offered her the $1 million she failed to get from Playboy in exchange for her services and likeness, saying “This is a perfect way for Lindsay to immortalize her body parts and it allows fans to connect with her in a whole new way.”

Anyone else think that if LiLo suffers a few more legal troubles Dina just might push her in Fleshlight’s direction?

Lindsay Lohan is set to appear in Playboy’s January 2012 issue, on sale in December. The Fleshlight, it seems, will have to wait.

Halloween Hoochies and Costumed Coochies

Halloween has come and gone for another year, leaving us full of candy, a little headachey from one too many Corpse Reviver cocktails, and sick to fucking death of Bobby “Boris” Pickett. So, how best to wind down in the days following everyone’s favorite costume ‘n’ candy holiday? By judging a costume contest, of course! After much deliberation amongst our judges – that’d be my artistic sensibilities and my libido – Mr. Pink’s is proud to present our three finalists for Best Costumed Pornstar for Halloween 2011.

Pornstars seem to love getting all gussied up for Halloween and this year was no exception. At Naughty America, Julia Ann decked herself out in a genie costume, fulfilling many a viewer’s wish as she went to town on Michael Vegas’ dick-in-a-box.

Julia Ann

This year, Joanna Angel’s annual Halloween production was a filthy yet funny reinterpretation of the classic horror story, Frankenstein. Decked out in, well, barely anything really, Joanna lit up the black-and-white screen as the Bride of Frankenstein, complete with an incredible two-tone bouffant hairdo!

Joanna Angel

Our last contestant comes from a country that celebrates Halloween, or “Alla Helgons Dag”, for a full week, putting our one night of lunacy to shame. Buxom Swedish goddess Puma Swede sure knows how to party, throwing on a supremely slutty nurses uniform, jumping in the Bang Bus, and cruising around for cock, gobbling up every testicular treat thrown her way.

Puma Swede

There can, of course, be only one winner and this year it seems clear that the pornstar who put the most effort, creativity, and enthusiasm into her costume was the one and only Joanna Angel. If ever there was a pornstar made for Halloween-themed smut, it’s Joanna. Head on over to Joanna’s official Burning Angel site now and scope out her absurdist horror-porn masterpiece, Fuckenstein!

Halloween Roundup Part 2

Jessie AndrewsIn yesterday’s spooktacular installment of Mr. Pink’s Blog you read about Brazzers, Bang Bros, and Reality Kings’ attempts to creep you out while keeping you hard this Halloween. Now that The Big Three are outta the way, it’s time to delve even further into this year’s carnal celebrations with sites that cater to, well, a more refined clientele.

It seems only fitting that the masters of domination and subjugation, Kink dot com, would render a highly decadent take on Halloween with Mistress Bobbi Starr and the enslaved Tara Lynn Foxx. On Kink’s anal-focused site, Everything Butt, we find “Anal Haunting” a scene loaded with punishing rectal penetrations, anal stretching and gaping, and extremely potent rough sex. Imagine being Tara this Halloween, awoken from your coffin to a steel dildo-wielding Bobbi Starr! That’s enough to scare the bejeezus outta anyone!

Over at My XXX Pass, relative porno newcomer Jessie Andrews throws on a black and blue wig, sets her pumpkin pail down, and gorges on the biggest sucker she could find: a thick, long, and very stiff dick. Taking it so deep she fully earns her place in Throated’s Halloween update, Jessie gags, spits, tears up, and even tries to talk with her mouthful. Who taught you table manners, girl? Cannibals?!

Still with the orally fixated, the delightfully erotic Camille Crimson might not seem like the type to puke mid-blowjob, soiling her kinky Supergirl costume, that’s because she has perfected The Art of Blowjob. Offering something unique to her fans this Halloween, Camille refuses to take her lover’s cock in her mouth, instead stroking his shaft with licking and sucking his balls as if they were Everlasting Gobstoppers. As he inevitably blows, you’ll surely realize that Camille’s manual and oral skills alone aren’t responsible for his excitement – she’s wearing a pumpkin-orange slip so thin it’s practically see-though. That’d be enough to have any guy aching for some suction!

Quite possibly the most accomplished producer of spooky concept porn is the rather ironically named Joanna Angel. After winning the AVN Award for Best Web Premiere in 2011 for her Halloween parody, Dong of the Dead, this Burning Angel celebrates Halloween ‘11 with the ambitious Fuckenstein! Joanna’s eerie black-and-white parody of the original monster movie stars James Deen as Dr. Frankenstein, Ramon Nomar as The Monster, and Ms. Angel herself as The Bride, complete with lightning-strike bouffant hairdo. The major difference in this version of Mary Shelley’s classic horror tale, of course, is that The Bride takes a double-teaming from The Monster and his creator. A far cry from the social commentary of the original, sure, but a damn sight sexier!

Keep your third eyes peeled, dear readers, ‘cause if more horrific horniness hits the WWW before midnight of the 31st, “Putrid” Mr. Pink’s will have the complete, skin-scorching lowdown. Goreanteed!