Dash Direct, a prominent UK-based designer and manufacturer of women’s lingerie has unveiled the results of extensive research conducted in an effort to figure out, once and for all, exactly what the perfect British celebrity babe looks like. Not content with merely listing the leading contenders, Dash Direct decided to mimic the efforts of Shelley’s Dr. Frankenstein and combine the most attractive parts of some of the UK’s top female celebs into three absolutely “perfect” women they dubbed Chelily Brooxon, Lorrea Gallian, and Kathlette Zeta Bux. “What the hell kinds of names are they?” you ask. Well, Chelily is a combination of Kelly Brook’s breasts, Alesha Dixon’s legs, and the derrierre of Rachel Stevens, while the other two fictional beauties are further amalgamations of women only our UK readers might have heard of.
But what, dear readers, of the American equivalent? What if Hollywood decided, kinda like in that 2002 movie S1m0ne, to create a celebrity out of the most attractive body parts of our favorite stars? While your results and mine might differ – is there anyway we can work Fran Lebowitz’s wit and Jenny McCarthy’s dedication to stamping out autism in there? – it’d be great to have an All-American equivalent to these largely British creations.
Whose ass, legs, breasts, torso, face, features, and hair would you combine to create the ultimate celebrity babe?
Over the past five-or-so years we’ve seen a few breakout websites that have either directly or indirectly changed the face of porn. One is clearly a boon, while the other is a more complicated bedfellow. Twitter has assisted pornstars in breaking down the barriers between them and their fans, allowing for 24/7 contact with those that made their career, and it has been embraced by almost every pornstar this porn-filled noggin can think of! Hit up a list of pornstar Tweeters and you’ll soon enough find photos of Katie St. Ives wearing nothing but a fedora and a cigarette or Bobbi Starr’s blog posts addressing the state of the adult industry; both examples of the stellar additions to the porn world made possible by Twitter.
The other site? Well, that’d be any one of those XXX YouTube clones popping up faster than you can complain about their horrible video quality and blatant copyright infringement. (More on those sites and their impact on the industry here.)
Later this week porn professionals will descend upon sunny Pasadena, California to showcase their freshest wares and latest innovations in the realm of adult pleasure at the 2011 AVN Novelty Expo. Hosting more than a hundred exhibitors, from ASLAN Leather to XMYBOX, the ANE is when and where the makers of the world’s finest vibrators, dildos, pocket pussies, lubricants, condoms, lingerie, aphrodisiacs, sex furniture, lotions, and self-lubricating vibrating studded cock-rings gather ‘round the campfire to unleash their original erotic creations upon the salivating men and women of the adult industry. Also hosting some of the industry’s notable personalities discussing everything from the materials used to make your favorite dildos to the role bloggers and reviewers play in the current state of the adult industry. (Everyone’s favorite Asian BBW pornstar, Kelly Shibari, is speaking at that one. Feel like adding another reviewer/blogger/co-panelist, Kelly? Do ya?)
Those in the LA area interested in attending better act quick. Proceedings begin on the morning of Thursday July 7th, peak with The “O” Awards on Friday night, and continuing on Saturday morning with a floor show that must be seen to be believed.
Don’t forget to return here to Mr. Pink’s Blog for a full rundown of all the “O” Awards news!