Category: Missy’s Sex Advice

Missy Pink,

Alright, so, this is girl to girl talk time. I’ve been dating the same guy for nearly 9 months, and, I like him, he’s a good friend, and I would do anything in the world for him, but he’s boring me out of my mind! Every night it’s the same thing, we grab a bite to eat, watch television, he falls asleep on the sofa, I go to bed, and then it starts over the next day. I’m not married because I’m not into the routine and rut of that kind of life, I want to be out and doing things, painting the town red, being wild and naughty on occasion, he’s holding me back and I don’t know how to let him down easy. Any good break up lines you’d care to offer?

– Dumping Routine

Dear Friend,

Well, it certainly sounds as if you’ve made up your mind on the course of your actions. Have you tried talking to your boyfriend, explaining how you feel things are in a rut and there’s a strong difference in your personalities? Sometimes communication can make a huge difference, open doors you only saw as windows.

Apparently you’ve done a nice job of hiding how you really feel, because if he had any inclination you are as unhappy as you voiced in your question, he probably wouldn’t feel so comfortable in the evenings, to just fall asleep on the sofa and feel that everything is right with the world. Yes, routines happen, yes, ruts can be fallen into, but, it takes two to make life exciting and invigorating for both parties.

You’ve got to be willing to be open with your feelings, and, he has to be cooperative about climbing from the couch and through the doors of a nightclub now and then. Did you ever think, maybe he falls asleep more out of boredom than weariness? Perhaps he thought this was the type of lifestyle you enjoyed, and, he wanted to make you happy. It sounds like there could be two sides to this story and with neither of you talking, then that means no one is listening.

There is no such thing as a good break up line, what there is however, is a thing called honesty. Open up, tell him how you feel, either he’ll agree to being more of a party animal or he’ll have to accept your decision to end things. For future reference, if you’re going to spend that much time in a relationship, disclose what you’re looking for quickly, during the getting to know one another stage of dating, that way, no one is blindsided and you’ll feel better knowing you’ve made yourself clear from the beginning. You get what you ask for, so, it’s time to ask!

Hi Missy Pink,

I think maybe my question is one a lot of guys have, but might be afraid to ask. I LOVE oral sex, there’s nothing like a hot blow job to really put me in the mood. My problem is, I can never find a girl that likes taking it the way I like giving it. It’s a turn on to grab her head and force it down on my stiffness, really owning her mouth, but, usually the babes get mad and put up a fight with their head when I try to do that. Why won’t women let men take control? I’m 29 years old and feel like I’m in my prime, but, I’m not getting what I want.

Macho Guy

Dear Macho,

And I use that term loosely. To be 29 years old, I have to say, you still have a lot of growing up to do. Unless you’re in a relationship where there’s the dominance and submissive side between partners, there is no control to be had. Sex, like many other aspects of life can be mutual and equal, and when you find that balance, that’s when you’ve matured and will find the women that enjoy going to bed with you. When you start using your head….you’ll get more of it!

Being force fed through fellatio is possibly one reason why women shy away from the act of oral sex, to them, having their face bashed up and down on a boner isn’t exactly the type of foreplay that excites them. Lay back, what’s your rush, let her lick and suck in a rhythm that’s not only pleasing to her, but also will become very exciting for you, and, you’ll receive much longer intervals of her satisfying sucking.

Of course, that’s not saying your desire to feel as though you are indeed a macho man should be swept under the rug. When things really heat up, there will be those moments when entwining your fingers through her hair and offering some mild guidance would be a turn on, but, when pulling her face down too far, possibly hitting gag reflexes, that certainly kills the mood quickly.

Some women may enjoy that type of brutal blow job, and then it will be a match you’ve been waiting for, but give your relationships time, grow together, experiment, do roll playing, have fun in bed, it will enhance all aspects of foreplay and the hardcore excitement as well.

Just because your mattress is firm doesn’t mean you have to be. Soften up a bit on your demeanor and appreciate how hard you’ll become in the process.

Missy Pink;

I never thought I’d be complaining about frequent sex, but, I sort of am. My problem is this, my husband, for the last few years has suddenly not been in the mood through the day, before we go to bed, first thing in the morning, none of those, his erection happens in the middle of the night! Just as I’m deeply within my REM state, he’s wanting to be deeply within me, and then I cannot get back to sleep for the rest of the night once I’ve been awakened. I have asked him why the odd hour for having sex, but, he just shrugs his shoulders and says, “At least I’m keeping it at home!” I’m glad for that fact, but, multiple times a week now I’m going without enough rest, how do I change his internal clock for sex?

Sperm Instead of Sleep

Dear Friend;

Well, first of all, I have to say, it is good that your husband is “Keeping it at home” as he says, but, something tells me if he’s out past the midnight hour with his meat filled moods, it would be a bit difficult to explain not being in his own bed, if that’s the normal way of life around your home.

It’s hard to explain what brings on the notion, what turns us on one day, might not do a thing for us the next, no matter what time of the day it is. It could be his work has him exhausted, and, after a few hours of rest, he awakens refreshed and aroused. Maybe he’s snacking on something before calling it a night, creating dreams that leave him unable to turn over in bed. If you’re clad in something besides flannel, smelling particularly sweet after your nightly shower, with the application of a new body wash, the scent wafts into his dreams and he comes to wanting what smells good enough to eat. It could be all of these or none of this, there’s no pinpointing how the erogenous zone of the brain works.

You may want to consider taking some afternoon naps, or saving your housework for a third shift sort of schedule, because, if this has been going on for quite some time, the routine may not be changing quickly. Don’t hesitate in having a heart to hard-on talk with him, express that being interrupted through the night is not giving you the most pleasant of days, and, even though you appreciate the middle of the night, hardcore adventures, if he could set his alarm for a bit earlier in the evening, you’d be able to show your appreciation a bit better.

A bit of sheet saturation during the wee hours of the morning is hot, I mean, let’s face it, who doesn’t enjoy the periodic placement of manhood when most of the world is tossing and turning, only dreaming of what you’re getting, but, when that’s the only time you get to enjoy the erotica, I can understand your lack of enthusiasm.

A meeting of the minds is definitely called for in a situation such as this, let him know, as much as you enjoy getting off, it’s not as exciting knowing you’ll then be getting up.

Missy Pink,

I can sum up my problem in three words, I hate sex. Well, maybe hate is too strong of a word, but, it’s just not something I need or most of the time, even want in my life. I’ve never had the type of orgasm that will make your eyes roll back in your head like I read of in my romance novels, and it seems like a waste of time. I wasn’t a virgin when I married my husband 14 years ago, so, it’s not that he’s doing something wrong, I just have no excitement over it, so, I fake my lack of desire from him.

Lust Lost

Dear Friend;

You may have been able to sum things up in three words as to your cause for writing me, but, whether you know it or not, you’ve actually voiced more than one issue to me.

First of all, you’ve been married for 14 years, which means your spouse knows you much better than you think. There are certain senses that develop over the years when you live with someone, somewhere between the richer and poorer, and in sickness and in health, there’s an unstated clause of during orgasm and faked arousal, so yes, I would think he knows, and, if he’s picking up on your receptors of boredom and duty instead of desire, he’s probably feeling that he is the problem, he’s not exciting you enough to have you writhing across the sheets, saturating them in your female juices.

I’ve said it before, but it still rings true, the mind is the largest sex organ of the body, and, if you’ve convinced yourself that no amount of stimulation in the world will have you squirting during foreplay, then, it won’t. You’ve literally talked yourself out of the erotica.

You also spoke of being an avid fan of romance novels, which is fine for nighttime reading when sleep won’t come, but, you won’t cum either if you feel that life is like what’s written upon those pages. It’s fiction, and yes, real romance can be just as passionate at times, but, I think you’re setting your expectations too high, using the characters in your books as the way things should be.

You need to talk to your husband. Granted, it won’t be easy, it’s not as if you’re telling him you’ve suddenly developed a dislike for broccoli, this is much bigger. However, the only thing larger is allowing your husband to feel as though he’s failing you, and by doing so, you’re also failing yourself, there’s juicy jubilance that can be found in the bedroom, but, you need to open your mind and your thighs too it, along with your husband’s eyes of what you’ve been experiencing. If he feels inadequate, he may begin looking for another woman to prove his worth with, and, 14 years of marriage is a lot to throw away over you faking during fornication.

If you truly dislike the act of hardcore sex itself, then be honest with him, but, if there is an ember burning that just needs to be stoked through reality to gain full flame, then, give it a chance. Put your book down and pick up your vibrator, get in touch with yourself. Relax, let your eyes roll back and then experience the wonders with the man you exchanged vows with.