Hustler Responds to Mobile Demands


Now that pornography is well and truly as portable as your car keys and can be viewed in High Definition on mobile devices while you sneak off for another post-lunch bathroom break at work, keep yourself occupied on a long bus ride, or help yourself relax while stuck in bed injured or ill. Hustler, one of porn’s preeminent studios, knows this well and has just unveiled proof of its dedication to mobile viewing of its two leading websites, Hustler and Barely Legal.

Now equipped with “responsive” designs, Hustler and Barely Legal are now more easily viewed on all kinds of devices. Testing the site first on my desktop with Google Chrome and Firefox, then on iOS, both sites fluidly adapted to my screen resolution and format. Your various scene options now display with active thumbnail previews, many sorting options, and a cleaner yet more informative layout.

Photos were promised to be included in the upgrade, supposedly earning themselves new “higher impact” frames. That doesn’t appear to have been the case with far too many recently added galleries stuck in dismal 800px resolutions with no sign up a 3000px fantasy upgrade on the horizon. Viewing copies of Hustler’s various magazine publications, once printed, now digitized, is also easier and more fluid thanks to an a greatly improved user interface. All of these improvements are helping not only keep Hustler in the hardcore game, but helping to make Hustler’s porn a real a treat to view.

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The Return of John Holmes

John Holmes

The death of a great artist inevitably brings out vultures eager to release and rerelease any works by the now more-profitable deceased. Elliott Smith, Jeff Buckley, and Jimi Hendrix fans have all been “treated” to a methodical onslaught of lost recordings, outtakes, demos, and embarrassing studio missteps all in the name of maintaining copyright ownership, preserving the legend, and keeping them good ol’ greenbacks rolling in. A somewhat notable exception has been John Holmes, the man once dubbed “The Sultan of Smut,” but Hustler Founder and Chairman Larry Flynt is reviving Holmes’s filmography with the discovery of two never-before-released hardcore movies starring a young Holmes in what are being touted as his very first performances.

The two features, Balls in Action and The Doctor Is In, apparently constitute the first work of Holmes and were discovered by Hustler’s video archivists and researchers. Flynt called the films “hidden treasures” and “something really special,” declaring Hustler “very excited” to make them publicly available. Robert Smith, Hustler Video’s Director of Operations, said Flynt often purchases large archives of adult material to comb through and that this particular haul yielded a “jackpot!”

Remastered by Hustler Video and currently being prepped for a home video (DVD via Zero Tolerance) release in early 2016, Balls in Action and The Doctor Is In will also make it to Hustler TV and Expect more information and previews from Mr. Pink’s as they come to light. Until then, check out the best of Holmes’ legendary work, including the Johnny Wadd series, at The Classic Porn.

Re-Gifting for Porn’s Sake

The holiday season traditionally sees an exchange of gifts between friends and family members, tokens of appreciation for putting up with each others’ idiosyncrasies and issues for another year. Unfortunately, the desire to give the perfect (or at least perfectly usable) gift often outweighs the personal element. Case in point: the gift card.

gift cards pay for porn

Handed out en masse every holiday season and easily purchased from supermarkets, gas stations, corner stores, 7-Elevens, and many other vendors, a gift card entitles the bearer to spend a predetermined, stated amount at a corresponding store. But what if you loathe L.L.Bean’s collegiate winter wear, object to Wal-Mart’s dominance of national and now international retail, or simply won’t set foot in a DSW for fear of contaminating your feet with the stench of others’? What do you do with your apparently useless gift cards then? Why, purchase some porn, of course!

With a number of adult sites and networks now accepting payment via store-affiliated gift card, I thought a rundown of such smut vendors would serve to enlighten you, dear readers, as to your spending options. And, hey, think of this way: when your father-in-law asks what you ended up buying from Home Depot, you can let him know that whacking it to Jayden Jaymes’s marvelous heaving breasts was more important than a new ball-peen hammer. Maybe.

Spend your unwanted gift cards at the following adult emporiums and ensure no gift card goes to waste. The gift card in my wallet, a $15 Starbucks card, could buy you the following membership stints at the following sites (with duration and price changing per gift card brand and value):

– 16 days with the amply-titted anal-loving fuck-freaks of Brazzers.
– 26 days with Naughty America’s MILFs and housewives and step-sisters.
– 9 days of ogling DDF Network’s European goddesses, foot fetishists, teen lesbians, and busty beauties.
– 30 days marveling at Videobox’s impossibly wide range of on-demand smut.
– 14 days, a solid fortnight, checking out the legendary Hustler archives.
– 14 days with Spizoo, the 13-site globe-trotting pornstar-fucking extravaganza.

Conditions apply, of course (minimum $10 balance, certain card brands only) but at least there’s finally a way to rid yourself of hard plastic currency usable only at unsexy stores that most certainly don’t stock Interracial Booty Intruders, Mommy Needs Money #2, or an HD version of Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge.