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Nervous Husband – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pink,

I’m married to a wonderful stay at home Mom. My wife and I are the same age, 33, and things have always seemed to work out perfectly within our marriage. A few months ago she met a stay at home Dad, through a mutual play date, and they’ve developed a very strong friendship, even calling and texting during the evening hours. She doesn’t hide anything, but, she talks about him all the time and I found myself feeling nervous about their relationship, so, I told her my feelings. We talked calmly and she eased my ill feelings, but within days I was more upset than before and we both said hurtful things to one another. There’s been a damage done that I’m not sure can be reversed.

Nervous Husband

Dear Nervous;

You use words such as, “nervous and ill feelings,” when describing how the friendship your wife has with another man, but let’s be honest here, you’re jealous. I found myself wanting to say, if you’re feeling insecure about this friendship, that tells me you know there are areas that have caused voids for her and maybe she’s found someone else to fill them. To look at this logically, they have much in common, both being stay at home parents, they can compare notes, complain, boast, brag, and literally go crazy over the hectic side of their days, and they know it’s completely understood. While you’re out in the work force, talking to adults and having a change of scenery, she’s been at home watching Sesame Street and carrying on conversations about how potty training works…now she has adult attention.

You didn’t mention if anything was failing in the bedroom part of your marriage, which leads me to believe you feel the connection is more of an emotional one, and if that’s the case, it could get tricky. She’s felt on her own in many ways I’m sure for quite some time, and now there’s finally a sympathetic ear and a non judgmental sounding board that has become her salvation. In some ways, that’s more satisfying than a sexual orgasm.

Since you stepped outside of the comfort zone and hurtful words were spoken, it’s going to take some time on your end to make amends, if that’s the route you’re wanting to go. It will be hard however to do your best to smooth things over if you still have that gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach, and, if she refuses to end the friendship, one marital blow up is going to lead to another.

My recommendation would be….be honest. Sit her down, explain that you’re sorry for what you said, and even though you both were hurt, you want to discuss things as adults and at least get to a place where you don’t feel the constant flow of anger between you, and then, seek the assistance of a professional. Yes, couple’s counseling sounds like it may be called for. If you love her as I believe you do, but you feel this threatened over her closeness to another male, then you need a mediator to oversee your healing. Also, there could be the possibility that she has emotional feelings for this male friend and she doesn’t know how to deal with them, maybe that’s the cause for her to become defensive, there are many ways things could go, so, being constructive is the best route to take.

Don’t just toss away the idea of counseling, you may need to be on a therapist’s couch before you get back into the marital bed.

Unfaithful – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Dear Missy Pink;

I’ve made a terrible mistake and I don’t know how to undo things. About 2 yrs ago my husband I were fighting, a lot. I found myself wanting to have a man talk nice to me, and be comforting, and I had an affair. It only happened once, and I was so ashamed of myself I didn’t know how to handle it. I confided in a friend and I thought I could trust her. Now, she’s blackmailing me of sorts. She drops little remarks in front of my husband that, if he were a suspicious man, he would have picked up on immediately, and, she’s now flirting with him every chance she gets. Oh, and I just found out a few days ago that she and her husband have filed for divorce. I’m afraid she’s going to spill the beans, I’m afraid I’ve ruined our marriage and just when things were going much better for us.

– Unfaithful

My first thought is to tell you to stop beating yourself up for having the affair. Granted, it wasn’t the right thing to do in the moral sense, but, what’s done is done, now it’s time to address your concerns. Many others before you and after you will carry out the same actions and the majority of them will feel as much remorse as you do right now.

The fact that you said before mentioning the sharing of information with your friend that you felt miserable tells me you truly do wish it hadn’t happened, you had an immediate regret. You were vulnerable and needful and the hardcore pleasure of sharing intimacy with someone is what you thought would make you feel better at the time, but, all it did was open a new problem that you now don’t know how to deal with.

As for your, “friend,” and I use that term loosely, you learned the hard way what many others have known for a very long time, trust no one in the respect of them one day being able to use your words as ammunition against you. I can understand you needing to vent and share, it was probably much like an internal combustion, you needed the release. However, it seems as if your “friend” is going to use this to her advantage, she’s maybe always had a keen eye for your husband, and now that she’s going through a divorce and she has this secret of yours, she may work it as foreplay to move her way between the cool cotton sheets with your spouse.

You said things were going better in your marriage, which tells me any advances she may try to make, will probably fall upon deaf ears just as her insinuations have done. She may not really have any intention of spilling the beans, but since it is a possibility, and it’s much harder to get the cat back into the bag once it’s been let go, my suggestion would be to come clean with your husband. Sit him down, tell him what happened, express how remorseful you feel about what took place and that it would never happen again. Let him deal with it in his own way, but let him know that your heart is with him.

Let your “friend” feel as if she doesn’t have a secret to stand on, and then share passionate, hardcore, uninhibited sex with your spouse each and every night, proving to him that your desires are for him only. Actions speak louder than words, unleash your guilt and your arousal, be yourself, be honest and be happy.

Dirty Dreamer – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Dear Missy Pink,

I guess I should begin by saying I’m a 35 year old woman, never married and not a professional at relationships period. I’ve always been very shy and to be honest, I was in my late 20’s before losing my virginity. I reached puberty early in life and have always had a high sex drive, but, have always used masturbation as my release. The problem with that, the fantasies I would come up with. I have a wild imagination and as the years went on, it took extreme things to really have me satisfied, even with high powered sex toys involved. Now that I am having more dates and being more active, I’m not finding myself as turned on by the men in my bed as I can get from my own imagination, have I ruined myself?

Dirty Dreamer

Dear Dirty,

There’s nothing written in stone as to what is a suitable or acceptable age for losing your virginity, some are earlier in life than others, but thank goodness, we always are in possession of the box our cherry came from! If the world were open and honest about taboo topics, we’d probably find the majority of the population experienced their first orgasm by their own hands, and even if they find themselves in a steady relationship, marriage, whatever the case may be, there’s still something familiar, comfortable and exciting about stealing those private moments of masturbation, it’s like cumming home to an old friend.

It sounds as if even though your saturation was solo generated, it was done for a very long time, and I’m guessing frequently, so, you achieved a routine and not just an orgasm. No one knows their body like themselves, but, when you’re in the right relationship, the exploration and training sessions can be extremely stimulating. You didn’t say if your dates of late have been more of the one night stand type, or those where you’re building on something a bit more long term, but, if you are seeing someone on a steady basis, explain to them you bloomed a bit later in life with your shared lust and you need someone to take the time to make you feel like a woman, even in the presence of a man.

If a guy truly wants to be in a relationship with you, he’ll not just see it as a challenge, but also as a portal into a deeper connection, both physically and emotionally. Share some of your taboo fantasies, while sharing pillow talk during foreplay, explain in detail the things that would turn you on like the switch of your vibrator, he’ll become more aroused and so will you by feeling as if you’re “living out” your dirty dreams. It could turn into a win/win sexual situation.

One thing to keep in mind, when you close your eyes, you can be anywhere you want to be, you’re not bound to the bed you’re sharing with your lover, or by yourself for that matter. It’s okay to fantasize even when you’re with someone, that’s all a part of human nature, just because your sexual interludes now include a partner doesn’t mean you have to shut down the erogenous zone of your brain, the two can go hand in hand nicely. Be yourself, be wild, and be honest, and if he can’t handle your physical needs for orgasm, then maybe he’s not the man for you, but luckily, as the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea, so toss your rod back in the water and see if you pull back a keeper. After all, with your practice, you’re already a “master-baiter!” Hang a sign on your door that says, “Gone Fishin’” and then head for the watering hole!

Cougar Hunter – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pink,

I’m embarrassed to ask about this but I don’t want to talk about it to anyone I know. I’m 27 years old, my Dad got remarried about a year ago, to a woman more his age, 51, and much older than me. But that doesn’t stop me from fantasizing about her. I’ve never thought of a mature woman before, but there’s something about her that drives me crazy. I think she has thoughts too, a few times she’s brushed her boobs against me and even played footsy under the table, which makes me have to masturbate to get rid of the hard-on she causes. Am I a terrible guy or just a bad boy?

– Cougar Hunter

Dear Cougar Hunter;

Well, I can honestly say, you’re not the first male to be attracted to, an older women, we cougars do know how to flirt in a way that will make your blue jeans suddenly feel quite stiff in the front. Normally it happens during high school, when the hormones are raging and you’re carrying your books from class to class in front of you to hide the erection you’re sporting and can’t get to go down. A buddy’s hot Mom, or a certain teacher that looks delicious with her glasses perched on her nose, a deep cleavage showing from the front of her blouse, and of course those long legs that are crossed when she sits on the front of her desk to make a point, yes, normally at that age of budding puberty, a stiff wind will cause the same reaction for you.

Now, it seems to me, with you being a bit older, that doesn’t rule out the fact that a MILF can always bring fantasy and desire, but, you’re certainly old enough to not want to play in your Dad’s sandbox. If your step-Mom is flirting with you as well, shame on her. She’s taking advantage of your presumed stamina and stiffness, not to mention feeding her own ego as an older woman that can still cause a younger man to jack-off with thoughts of her on his mind.

There are certain, unspoken rules in life that offer imaginary boundary lines not to be crossed, and having wild, unbridled, hardcore sex with your Dad’s wife would certainly be on the list. I’m sure in your mind she is so hot and stimulating, that when all the blood rushes from your brain to your testicles, the moral aspect is lost somewhere between those two areas, but, for just one moment, once you’ve managed to bring yourself to an orgasm, think about what it would be like afterwards. Would you feel guilt? Would she? Would you want to do it again or would you feel so badly over the adultery aspect that it would put a strain on the family dynamics? Let’s face it, the next backyard cookout could be a bit uncomfortable, would you be passing the potato salad or making a pass at your step-Mom?

If you’re truly that turned on by the fact it’s an older women, there are plenty others in the world, you’re eyes have been opened, now all you have to do is look. There’s nothing wrong with desiring the mature and sexy creature that you know will have the erotic experience to make you feel as you have never felt before, and, at the same time, you’re proving to her that she doesn’t belong in the kitchen baking cookies, but rather draped across your bed, ready for you to bring the youthful pleasure one more time. But, something tells me, it’s the taboo side of the fact this is your Dad’s wife, it makes her off limits, it makes it so hot and naughty, the act of sneaking, the wild heat that courses through your veins at the possibility of getting caught, all of those fetish filled feelings that make you want her even more. If that’s the case, then allow your mind to catch up to the age of your body…. grow up, don’t ruin the relationship between you and your Father.

If she’s coming on to you as well, then I’d say Dad already has problems he’s not aware of yet, and, if you don’t act upon her offers, then someone else probably will, and she’ll keep looking, but if it comes out that she’s not as faithful as he thought, don’t compound his pain by knowing his own son betrayed him as well as his wife. He gave her a ring, but he gave you life.