Grab yourself a look at South Korea’s most significant cultural exports at the moment – charming girl group pop, insanely hot soda spokesmodels, and blockbuster action movies – and you’d have no idea that beneath the shiny, tech-savvy, economically booming surface of the nation lay a groundswell of people devoted to glorifying their pubic hair. Sure, “The muff is back,” has been bandied about the porn industry for a while now, but with Laurie Vargas retired and Bobbi Starr mostly behind the camera these days, pubic hair isn’t anywhere near as prominent as it was thought to be becoming. In South Korea, however…
So keen are many Korean women on the idea of sporting a voluminous pubic muff that they’re using a procedure called “bush grafting” to artificially add extra follicles down below, follicles grafted from their scalps. As detailed by Refinery29, Korean pubic hirsutism is rooted in the traditional belief that heavy follicles are a sign of fertility and a healthy sexual well-being. The bush grafting is not so traditional, however, with a study conducted by Seoul’s Arumdaun Nara Dermatologic and Plastic Surgery Clinic revealing that 74% of women undergoing the procedure did it because of “a sense of inferiority to the same sex.” In other words, other women with more lush pubic hair made ’em feel crappy. The International Society of Hair Restoration Surgery reports that bush grafting has risen a remarkable 160% between 2010 and 2012 and with the procedure starting at $2,000, that’s a lot of expensive merkins roaming the banks of the Han River.
Meanwhile, back in the USA, it’s still bald or near-bald female pubic regions as far as the eye can see. Surely there’s a comfortable middle ground to be found, perhaps after extensive diplomatic talks between our two nations. Hell, maybe we can rope Kim Jong-un into the discussions and find out once and for all if pubic hair in North Korea is as uniform and militarized as everything else.
Considering the dearth of sexual aids available to men – let’s face it, there’s the Pocket Pussy and Fleshlight and little else – it’s quite surprising that nobody tried to address this market disparity with something like The Handie before now. As discussed on this here blog back in early October, The Handie is an all-in-one sexual aid for men that promises to make bare-fisted masturbation a thing of the past. With a self-lubricating system, vibrating element, textured penetration simulation, and an easy-to-clean ejaculate receptacle, The Handie should’ve been such a smash hit with online audiences that it’s failure to raise the $69,000 declared necessary for production on the product’s IndieGoGo crowdfunding page.
Raising only $3,862 through IndieGoGo, The Handie went into production anyway and is now available for purchase. And, given the amount of attention The Handie has been receiving from the mainstream and adult branches of the media, it could soon be sold out. Heather Vahn (of whom we haven’t seen nearly enough lately) and Khloe Kush starred in the very first Handie promo video (above) and Angelina Chung has just been named the very first “Handie Girl” (although exactly what that means remains to be seen), proving this unique masturbatory aid not only has the pornstar seal of approval, but seems a solid, failure-proof venture enough that actual adult entertainment professionals are risking embarrassment and a career misstep to support it. The Handie is very real and very available and (presumably) very comfortable… unless you’re Milwaukee Buck Giannis Antetokounmpo, that is.
I’m all out of candy and I’m through being nice to other people’s spawn, but I’m nonetheless a bit sad that Halloween has come and gone for another year. Whatever your celebratory habits may be, the immediately-post-Halloween period can bring you hurtling back to reality and leave you an ugly, depressed mess. In an effort to cheer up both myself and you, dear reader, I figured I’d try to keep the Halloween porn-party going with some scintillating tidbits that reveal how some very lucky Kink fans celebrated All Hallows’ this year.
In collaboration with theatrical circus troupe, Vau de Vire Society, Kink.com this year launched it’s very first immersive, interactive Halloween experience they call Hell in the Armory. Reporting for Vice, Anubha Momin attended the inaugural horror-fest and found things slightly more terrifying that arousing. Featuring such horrific scenes (all performed live by Kink and Vau de Vire members) as a woman’s abduction by a voracious werewolf, an asylum inmate ranting maniacally about her ghoulish child, an insane and blood-thirsty doctor operating (read: reconfiguring) his patient’s limbs, a vaudeville-style musical zombie trio, and a clown content to masturbate all night in a public phone booth.
By far the most outlandish event of the evening was, according to Momin, when she entered a well-stocked meat locker to find a bearded figure nailed to a wooden cross. Naked, bleeding, and intent on converting his audience to his particular faith, the bibles at his feet an obvious clue as to his identity. Suddenly, though, JC’s sermon from the cross was interrupted by a “maniacal butcher with a chainsaw” who barged in and headed straight for the soon-to-be-crucified-figure’s torso, plunging his blade deep into the dude’s chest and belly.
There’s no word yet as to whether Hell in the Armory will run again next year after 2014’s sold out season, or whether Kink and Vau de Vire Society will create an all-new attraction. Even if Halloween 2015 sees an empty spot on Kink’s calendar, you could always head over to the Armory, stand outside on a chilly San Francisco evening, and imagine the horrors unfolding inside a sexual hell of Kink’s making.