An Ode to Rocco

rocco siffredi

I’m all torn up, you guys. Our hero, the Italian Stallion himself, the world’s pornstar, Rocco Siffredi has officially retired from performing. You’ll have to excuse this interruption to Mr. Pink’s regularly scheduled and styled blog posts, ’cause I’m just too emotional right now to write anything but, but…… poetry!

Years ago, an Italian lad
A young stallion, name of Rocco
In his mind’s eye, did shout “Egads!”
and his intuition follow
From one girl to four to fifteen, true
No number overwhelmed him
But Rocco, who will follow you
Now you’ve thrown the towel in

I fear that I am brokenhearted
Though I’m sure I will recover
Unlike the girls whose cheeks he parted
‘fore their faces he did cover
Longing to with him work again
Pro sluts cry out in pain
“Oh, Rocco, our dear Rocco
Porn will never be the same”

Personally, I must agree
The loss is ours, not yours
So I’ll reign in my jealousy
As your wife had done hers

I wish your kin no sadness
I wish your kin no grief
So let me now extend my hand
in congratulations to your wife
Rosa, the Rocco-thief

rocco siffredi review

Hardcore Gangbang: Under New (Female) Management

hardcore gangbang

Kink.com has undergone some major changes lately, from a huge network-wide redesign that’s still in beta, to some modifications to its lineup of websites. Now, a classic Kink site is attempting something new and refocusing its attention not only on the bodies of its featured females, but on their own fantasies and desires. Out with the abduction-based, totally male-dominated Hardcore Gangbang of old and in with… Midsummer Night’s Dream fantasies?

Under the direction of Maitresse Madeline (and, to some extent Lorelai Lee), Hardcore Gangbang will now conduct in-depth interviews with featured female performers so that the scenes they shoot won’t be some mindless back-alley thrashing by construction workers* but will instead be based on her own fantasies, desires, and interests. And, boy, we’re off to a racing start!

Anime fan Marica Hase has fantasied about being a magical sprite from her favorite show and, when surrounded by hunky fellas she can’t communicate with, she zaps them with her Marica Magica rays and – ZZAAAP! – she’s naked, bound in ropes, and being whipped by the now naked men, all their throbbing dicks angled at her. Then there’s that Midsummer Night’s Dream concept I mentioned earlier, this one brought to the table by Ella Nova. Putting together a script incorporating elves and an arranged marriage and a fairy godmother, Madeline hopes to help Ella fulfill her fantasy while giving audiences something truly unique, perhaps even bizarre.

The other important element of the new Hardcore Gangbang is the more frank and detailed conversations about the models desires that, in keeping with Kink’s habits, the audience is privy to. Where previous scenes tended to keep men as the aggressors, snatching an unsuspecting woman for their own repugnant needs, now it’s the women’s turn to be in charge. And, yes, that also means women are making the choices to live out faux-abduction fantasies (should they appear here later).

With issues of consent and the apparent endorsement by some porn outfits of a very murky kind of verbalized consent a hot topic on social media and in social commentary today, it’s great to see Kink take a more mature and responsible approach, an approach that also brings its viewers hotter, better, and more satisfying gangbangs than ever before.

Now, the one thing that’s really left to change is the term ‘gangbang’ itself.

*Unless that’s what she wants, of course.

hardcore gangbang review

WoodRocket Wants David Lynch

save twin peaks

Cult television show Twin Peaks has only garnered more attention in the years since its untimely cancellation after two seasons in the early 90s. Co-creator and acclaimed filmmaker and artist David Lynch has long made it clear that the saga of Special Agent Dale Cooper and the Twin Peaks townspeople had not been entirely wrapped up. And with an October 2014 statement from Showtime announcing that the series would return in 2016 for a nine-episode run with original creators and cast members attached, fan fervor hit an all-time high. Then, six months later, Lynch withdrew from the production over budget disputes, spurring online petitions from fans and cast members alike that call for Lynch’s budgetary demands to be met because “Twin Peaks without David Lynch is like… comedic pornography without pop-culture references!”

Potentially rescuing Lynch from being embroiled in a production that doesn’t meet his needs, another offer has come in, this one from an unlikely source: WoodRocket. In an open letter to Lynch, WoodRocket director Lee Roy Myers claimed solidarity with his fellow “quirky” auteur and invited him to bring his most popular creation to the WoodRocket studios. Though it’s highly unlikely WoodRocket has Showtime-like funds to throw at the prospective series, perhaps the creative freedom would be enough to appeal to Lynch. For his part, Myers, who has said WoodRocket’s productions make Lynch’s own Eraserhead look as tame as Grease, also dropped in a few related puns and references to fan-favorite characters like Coop, Annie, and even Frank Booth from Lynch’s Blue Velvet, hoping to snag at least a few Twin Peaks fanatics for WoodRocket’s growing audience. Hell, Myers even suggests the proposed flick could delve into the mystery of the true relationship between The Log Lady and her beloved hunk of Douglas fir.

Beating on a Budget! with DDF Network

ddf netowkr

Denys Defrancesco has, over more than twenty years, established himself as one of Europe’s preeminent pornographers and erotic artists. His online empire has grown too, with DDF Network now hosting 16 exclusive websites, each one dedicated to a slightly different take on Europorn. The sites tackle established genres like big-boobed women (DDF Busty), fellatio (Only Blowjob), and foot fetishism (Hot Legs & Feet), but also try out less defined areas of filmed sexual activity. Hands on Hardcore ramps up a typical sex scene until it’s seared into your memory forever. Hairy Twatter gives women who keep their pubic hair lush and lively a chance to grab the spotlight. Interactivity is the goal of DDF Adventures, and it’s helped along that path by DDF Live Sex, a parade of webcam performers. 1 By Day, House of Taboo, Euro Girls on Girls, Euro Teen Erotica, Sex Video Casting, Eve Angel Official, Cherry Jul, Sandy’s Fantasies, DDF VOD, and the aforementioned sites all combine to give DDF Network an enormous archive of stellar European porn that covers most pornographic bases, and does it in style.

Now discounted from its admittedly high price of $44.99 to only $33.99-a-month, a DDF Network membership should no longer be regarded as too expensive for the average porno fan.

THE MATH:
With a network archive holding 13,240 scenes across 16 websites, DDF Network could be viewed as now charging only $2.12-per-month for each of its sites; or, taken on a scene-by-scene basis, each update costs an absolute pittance, only .0025¢! Any way you slice it, that makes DDF Network far more affordable than it usually is. And, with such a huge treasure chest of carnal entertainment on hand, it’s now a network almost impossible to resist.

DDF Network review

Lylith LaVey Takes Bang Bros to Court

lylith lavey evil angel

When news broke in mid-2012 that a male adult performer had altered a standard pre-shoot STI test to conceal his syphilis (a.k.a.: the STI that my mother claimed would send me roaring towards total insanity; aka: the most popular STI of the 15th Century), the industry rightfully clutched their collective genitals and said, “Shit, that guy’s an ass (and I hope I didn’t fuck him).” One person who did fuck Mr. Marcus, the man in question, was Lylith LaVey yet she has managed not only to use the legal system to hit back at Marcus himself (as she did in to the tune of $129,360) but also at the company she claims was neglectful in allowing Marcus to perform with a fudged test: our ol’ pals the Bang Bros.

Claiming her association with Mr. Marcus (now known as Mr. Syphilitic) caused her “emotional distress as well as castigation from others in her field,” LaVey (real name Heather DeAngelo) filed suit in early-2014 against Bang Bros, the production entity responsible for the scene in question and Mr. Marcus’ booking. LaVey’s case against the Bros didn’t make it to court and she was awarded an undisclosed sum of money via a settlement agreement with the company. After a 13-month-long lawsuit proceeding, it now appears that this little nightmare episode has resolved itself nice and tidily with the wounded compensated, the negligent hit where it hurts, and the truly guilty scrambling to reassemble his life and career.

Two questions remain, though: who knew you could successfully sue someone for almost (but not) infecting you with syphilis? And who on Earth would change their name from a perfectly porny real name like Heather DeAngelo?

Lylith LaVey at Evil Angel