I Like Big Butts and Science Knows Why!

jada stevens

From Queen’s ‘Fat Bottomed Girls’ to Sir Mix-a-Lot’s ‘Baby Got Back’ to Nicki Minaj’s ‘Anaconda’, people have been writing songs about women with large derrieres for decades, if not longer. Long assumed to be based purely on the increasing physical friction (and therefore pleasure) applied to a penetrating penis by the ample thighs and buttocks of a female with a thick rump, the male attraction to hefty behinds was so intriguing to graduate students of University of Texas at Arlington and Bilkent University in Ankara, Turkey they launched a study to determine the root of this persistent attraction.

Male participants in the joint study were asked to view 300 silhouette images of different women with varying degrees of spinal curvature and asked to rank them by attractiveness. Results found that the men found a curvature of roughly 45º – that is, the buttock line angling down from the spine at 45º – more appealing than other angles, lending credence to the idea that it’s the very size of the ass that determines its appeal. Dr. David Lewis of Bilkent University called the study’s findings “an independent and previously undiscovered standard of attractiveness.” He explained that such spinal curvature would have “enabled ancestral women to shift their center of mass back over their hips during pregnancy, a time during which there is a dramatic forward shift of their center mass.” It’s not all aesthetics and carrying babies in comfort, though, as Dr. Lewis explained. “Ancestral women who possessed this degree of lumbar curvature would have been able to forage longer into pregnancy and would have been able to carry out multiple pregnancies with a reduced risk of spinal injury.”

big butts

So, next time you’re talking to a charming woman with a substantial behind and you feel like making a comment on its appeal, why not try “Excuse me, but how many offspring have you spawned and do you think you could handle another while finding me some snacks?” Go on, see how quickly she turns and shows your her amazing ass… as she leaves in disgust. Knowledge comes at a price, folks, especially in regards to sex.

Reality KingsReality Kings review

Big Brazzers is Watching

brazzers house

Continually butting heads with detractors that claim it represents everything wrong with contemporary porn, Brazzers nevertheless has once again proven itself on the cutting edge of pornographic multimedia entertainment with the launch of reality porn series Brazzers House. Pitting ten top pornstar women not only against each other but against challenges physical, mental, and sexual to compete for a $10,000 grand prize.

Hosted by Brazzers staples and porn legends Nikki Benz and Keiran Lee, Brazzers House sees two teams led by the hosting pair sharing a house in Vegas and battling against foe and friend alike to claim pornstar supremacy. Joining Benz’s team are Alektra Blue, Dani Daniels, Gianna Nicole, Kayla Kayden, and Kaylani Lei, while Lee tries to guide Tory Lane, Phoenix Marie, Ava Addams, Missy Martinez, and Romi Rain to victory. The series will culminate in a live finale that will see the winning team members turn on each other and make a last ditch grab for the $10k.

Much like a mainstream television reality series, Brazzers House won’t stop once the official (and freely available) episode is over; behind-the-scenes and focused hardcore cuts will be available to active Brazzers members. Official episodes won’t satisfy those after naked debauchery, as the only graphic sex appears in each contestant’s intro. The debut episode is largely concerned with choosing teams and contestants finding somewhere to sleep (i.e.: setting up tests of friendship and loyalty that will no doubt pay off in a few episodes), but a preview for next week’s installment sees Ava Addams sneak Jessy Jones into her room to, well, you know…

Brazzers House airs weekly with additional footage made available to Brazzers members between episodes.

Beatin’ on a Budget! with HardX & EroticaX

When you consider that the standard monthly membership price of most worthwhile adult websites runs around thirty bucks, sometimes it’s not a question of trying to spend less but simply trying to get more for each dollar. It’s not often the case that a fairly new website will spring up and prove impossible to resist, but that’s what happens when you pull together an acclaimed director, today’s top female and male performers, and a slick, dynamic visual style. As AVN’s first ever female Director of the Year, Mason is the perfect person to introduce two new incredible offerings HardX and EroticaX.

hardx and eroticax

For those of you as yet unfamiliar with HardX and EroticaX, prepare yourselves for orientation! HardX stays true to its name and delivers the most intense and punishing rough sex, ass-fucking, double-penetrations, and gangbangs on the porn scene today. EroticaX, on the other hand, sees pornstars indulging in couple and fantasy roleplaying shot with a romantic atmosphere. Both sites deliver absolutely incredible visuals and prove AVN’s directorial accolade was not given in error, and see such stars as Casey Calvert, Annika Albrite, James Deen, Remy LaCroix, Mick Blue, and Carter Cruise line up to receive the most flattering close-ups of their careers. (Oh, and there’s plenty of wild fucking and sensual lovemaking, too!) And, now available for only $14.95 each instead of the usual $29.99, your first month inside both HardX and EroticaX is more affordable than ever!

THE MATH:
Combine HardX’s 109 EroticaX’s 84 scenes (all available in 720p and 1080p HD) and you get a tidy little two-site archive of 184 scenes, which might not seem like much at first, but which will reveal their true worth once played. Although the per-scene rate only comes to 16.25¢ and the discount is only valid for your first month inside this remarkable pair of sites, it’s the quality of Mason’s HardX and EroticaX work, and the dynamic performances by men and women clearly very comfortable with this director, that really makes your $29.90 easy to part with.

HardX and EroticaX might combine to make a fairly small package, but such a treasure trove of excellent hardcore this reviewer has never seen priced so affordably so early on in its rise to worldwide acclaim. Get in on the ground floor, folks, ’cause Mason’s new sites are set to force every pornographer in the land to raise their game.

HardX review

EroticaX review

Pornstars Tackle Irish Dancing

A semi-regular feature here at Mr. Pink’s blog is our well-timed noting of holiday-themed porn scenes popping up when many of us are home from work and very nearly climbing the walls out of boredom. Along with limited membership discounts offered by your favorite sites, these Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Easter, Fourth of July, and, most recently, St. Patrick’s Day scenes can make any holiday more interesting than your average family get-together. This year, however, something SFW trickled out of the porn world and passed many porn fans by as they headed to Naughty America for Rachel Roxxx’s Irish-tinged romp with Johnny Castle, and it involved Irish dancing.

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RatedXLife posted to its YouTube page the day prior to the annual celebration of all things green and Irish (and drunkenly abusive) a video showing the best Irish dancing efforts from a number of up-and-coming pornstars and established supersluts. Although non-nude and basically SFW, the video is still well worth watching. Where else will you see Jodi Taylor giggling and pogoing in flip-flops, Zoey Monroe showing military-style commitment, and Ana Foxxx’s surprisingly smooth and fluid effort, as well as twirling, bouncing turns from Serena Blair, Kenna James, and Ivy Sherwood, whose bobbing breasts get quite a few close-ups.

Screw the shamrocks and the pints of green beer and tell “Saint Paddy” to buy his own damn drinks. If anything, ‘Porn Stars Try to River Dance for St. Patrick’s Day’ has taught us that you don’t need green food coloring, drunken hooliganism, or public urination to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, just some fun-lovin’ folks unafraid to try shakin’ their asses in an unfamiliar way.

The Sadist is Present

Top Grl

There are porn parodies and then there are porn movies that use existing cultural artifacts to create their own take on a popular subject. Most porn parodies use television or movies or comic books or public sex scandals as the basis of their hardcore, but Intersec Interactive has significantly different tastes than most pornography studios and has therefore opted to tackle a rather unusual subject for one of Top Grl’s challenging femdom sessions: Serbian artist Marina Abramović’s landmark 736-hour-and-30-minute performance piece, The Artist is Present.

thesadistispresent

Devised and performed by Abramović for MOMA’s 2010 retrospective of her work, The Artist is Present saw a still and silent Abramović seated before gallery patrons, many of whom were moved to tears by nothing but the artist’s returned gaze. This might seem an odd sort of artwork to influence porn production, but Intersec Interactive is an odd sort of company. One of Kink.com’s few genuine competitors, Intersec has unleashed via Top Grl a scene entitled The Sadist is Present that, although using an unchanging endurance performance piece as its inspiration, thankfully offers a bit more activity than Abramović’s now legendary work.

Mona Wales has taken a seat, naked except for tall heels, when in walks Bonnie Day. Stunned, Bonnie receives her command: Make yourself comfortable. Ordered to strip in front of the embodiment of the perfect female figure, Bonnie follows each subsequent instruction to the letter, whether it’s kneeling in a pile of stiff rice grains, flogging herself with a cat o’ nine tails, and even peeling an onion only to use it as a masturbatory device.

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This is some weird shit, y’all, and it’s highly entertaining even though the rest of the scene takes place not in a gallery space but in a fairly typical bondage rack in some dank basement cum dungeon somewhere. More sadistic physical abuse is on the cards, only it uses the same tropes and tools found in most hardcore BDSM work. Clearly, then, art and porn are becoming increasingly intertwined (as also evidenced by the rise of publicly advertised and accessible erotic art shows and film festivals) but still have some way to go. For all the efforts of Mona Wales, Bonnie Day, and the Top Grl and Intersec teams, they still fall short of the epic commitment required by Abramović. But, hey, it’s a swell start!