Losing the Desire – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink,

Before my husband and I were married, he had an insane streak of jealousy, which never bothered me, it was flattering and showed me he cared. Now it’s been a little over two years since we became man and wife and the jealousy is gone. He’s noticed other guys checking me out and even men he works with will make comments, and he’ll laugh and shrug it off. I’m not sure how to take his new action, or lack of it, should I start to flirt back with other men to see if I find a spark?

Losing the Desire

Dear Losing;

There are a number of ways to take into consideration what the cause of your issue may be, and even more ways to handle it, but certainly not the one you’re thinking of.

Just because before your marriage he showed rage when someone was attentive towards you doesn’t mean he loved you more than he does now, and with only two years under your belt of marital bliss, now is certainly not the time to test his affection.  You may have seen his jealousy as a compliment, but for him, it may have been the fact that he loved you so much, he was afraid of losing that love, a bit of insecurity on his part, but, now and then, you’ll find that trait in men and women alike. Once you said the, “I do’s,” he began to feel more at ease, you married him, you love him, you’re man and wife, and, as the vows go, “until death us do part.”

It’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s just that he’s confidant in his trust within you, so, should you begin some innocent flirtation back with the men that are tossing their balls into your court, he will probably witness as you not loving him the way he felt you did. Your bond is still on a strong learning curve right now, I’m sure you both learn something new about one another every day, those are the traits that will make you fall in love all over again, and keep the already present love stronger. However, a bit of mistrust and he’ll start second guessing his comfort zone. And, let us not forget, sometimes even innocent flirting for whatever reason, can lead to something else. Even though you don’t have any intention of being unfaithful, all it takes is one vulnerable moment, and a pair of bedroom eyes laced with charm, and you may shed your inhibitions and your clothing, leaving you consumed with guilt.

The old saying, “less is more” can certain play into this situation, the less you give him cause to question, the more your marriage will bloom and become everything you’ve both wanted it to be. Instead of turning on your feminine wilds with one of his co-workers, flip the switch for your spouse. Show him you’re appreciative of his trust and that you don’t want to saturate the sheets with anyone else. Slip into some sexy lingerie, light a few candles, and introduce your body to him in ways he’s not experienced before. Remember the learning curve I mentioned? Well, that pertains to the emotional as well as the physical. Leave the lights on in the bedroom, assume an un-ladylike position, offer him everything that you have to give, go a little wild, it’s okay to partake in hardcore pleasure, after all, you’ve got a piece of paper framed on the living room wall and a ring on your finger that gives permission.

Drained From Desire – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink,

I am one of your older readers and inquirers, but I hope there are no age limitations. I am a 64 year old female, my husband is 68 years old. Our sex life was wonderful when we were younger, a bit sparse as the family was growing up, and then once they moved out with lives of their own, our sessions increased in frequency again. Unfortunately for the past few years, and I’m sure it’s age related, we were down to just a couple sexual sessions a year, which was making my husband feel like less of a man. We visited our physician and he was put on male enhancement medication, which works beautifully, to the tune of nightly love making. My problem is, I cannot keep up with him. He has a pill to give him the stamina that I don’t feel, and would very much enjoy cutting things back to just once or even twice a week, but, he refuses to lessen his dosage. I don’t want to say no to him, but I’m a tired old woman!

Drained From Desire

Dear Drained;

So many times in letters I receive, they seem to teeter on that line of the difference between genders, and this is one of those cases. Women enjoy being held, cuddled, hand holding, a soft kiss to the cheek, all of the expressions of intimacy that can at times leave us as fulfilled as a full blown love making session. But, for men, things are a bit different. A man many times will measure himself by the notches on the bed post they will mentally make each time they’ve raised their flag on mount vagina, and, when the flag isn’t flying as high as it once was, it not only devastates the ego, but robs a male of a self worth.

In your husband’s mind….and his boxer shorts, he feels like he’s 20 years old again, and, he’s not only impressing himself, but he feels as though he’s back to being the man you fell in love with years ago. His bones may ache, and he may make old man sounds getting in and out of his favorite recliner, and, quite possibly he has to put on reading glasses to see the TV Guide, but, when he feels the rise of what use to be flaccid, none of those other signs of age matters to him.

Since you sought out the advice of your physician for the original issue, it’s apparent you feel comfortable talking with them, so, my advice would be to turn that direction once more. Have him explain to your husband that the over use of anything can be bad, not to mention there are certain side effects associated with some of the male enhancement drugs, so, if it’s represented as a medical limitation, it may be an easier pill for him to swallow.

On the nights when things at Grandma and Grandpa’s house go wild, make the most of it, wear him out a bit, put on something sexy, maybe give a little smack to his butt and call him, “Stud.” Reassure him in a not so apparent manner that the once or twice a week is plenty for you, he satisfies your female urges enough to carry you through until the next time.

I’ve always said, men have two emotions, hungry and horny, if you see them without an erection, make them a sandwich! So, keep the cold cuts coming, and when he does take his dose of meat mood medicine, forget about a snack and put out a full spread for him!

Aroused and Alone – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink,

Why can’t my boyfriend and I be on the same page in the bedroom? I like wild sex, where I can turn myself loose and really enjoy the experience, but he says I’m acting too slutty and then calls off the whole episode, leaving us both sexually frustrated. I don’t mind using toys and masturbating, I’ve always done that, but the real thing is needed too. I’m not sure what to do, other than look around for someone else that fits my horniness.

Aroused and Alone

Dear Aroused;

First of all, kudos to you for “taking matters into your own hands,” and by admitting you do. Masturbation has always had a huge taboo cloud lingering overhead, and it’s a shame. I think it started when we were growing up, scolded by someone that may have caught us with our hand around our cookie jar, making it something dirty and to be kept secret. There’s nothing wrong with getting in touch with yourself, a quick release through the middle of the afternoon never hurts, but, it’s also nice to know when the sun goes down, there will be a cock going up!

One thing people seem to forget is everyone is different, no matter how much alike our partners may seem, and the similarities are what caused the spark when you first met, we are all unique, so, we need to find strength in the differences as well. You said you enjoy being wild during sex, but is that for every time you slip between the sheets, or just on those nights when your hormones are raging and you have the need to have sex and not just make love?

Some men enjoy a woman that takes control, the one that kicks off her sneakers and slips into stilettos, digging them into the sheets and riding his erection like it’s an unbroken stallion, and then, we have the men that is led by their ego for erotica, they need to feel they’re initiating things, and doing in the way that makes them feel manly, or, it just doesn’t work, and instead of hearing heavy breathing, you hear snoring.

Just because he’s not responding to your ways doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, nor does it mean he doesn’t want you, he just wants things a bit more tame, you want them more wild, so, like every other aspect of a relationship, compromise is called for. Spend a day together, hit your favorite nature path and go for a long hike, talk about whatever comes to mind, share dinner in a casual restaurant where you both feel comfortable and then let the conversation turn to the intimacy part of your relationship. Let your partner know you’re not going to leave him just because he’s not willing to sound proof the bedroom for when you climax.

He may, for one reason or another, hold more inhibitions than you, which doesn’t mean his style of sex is wrong, or right, it’s just different, so embrace it and work it out. If you get along in all other aspects and you see a real future, then being open in your communication and even offering to be a bit more reserved if he’s a bit more assertive, a meeting in the middle if you will, is more than worth the effort.  So before you dig your teeth into his neck and kick the lamp off the nightstand, let him brush your hair back from your face and tenderly lick your nipple. Go for the give and take method of sexual pleasure, it may save your relationship and lessen the amount of money you spend on batteries for your sex toys!

Computer Wife – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink,

My husband and I have been married almost 5 years, and our sex life has remained multiple times a week, even spontaneous quickies on top of that, so we are very sexually active. They recently changed his work shift to where he’s gone all night and since I work days, we don’t see one another much. He has a computer at work and wants me to use the webcam on our laptop to live chat with him. He’s expecting me to masturbate and tease him while he watches, but I don’t feel comfortable doing that. Not only could someone come by his cubicle and see what’s on his computer, but, I am a bit old fashioned and private, enjoying our bedroom, not technology. I’m afraid if I don’t do it, maybe he’ll find someone that will, he has a very high sex drive. I’m not sure what to do.

Computer Wife

Dear Wife;

First of all, kudos to having a husband with a high sex drive, and having that drive aimed towards you, even if it does include the computer. It’s apparent, you are the one that peaks his erotic interest, he wants to see you performing for him, while thinking of him and talking to him, … a rare trait, and one to be appreciated.

With that being said, maybe you could explain things to your horny hubby as, it’s not that you don’t want to turn him on while he’s at work, showing you’re missing him as much as he is you, but you want your excitement to show only to him, you don’t want to feel the possibility of a stranger viewing your open thighs, that is for him only. That will not only boost his ego, but also reaffirm his trust in your marriage. Being playful is great, adding spice to the bedroom, or the office, whatever the case may be is a commodity well claimed for keeping things alive between couples, but, it has to be stimulating for both or there’s definitely going to be something lost in the translation. It’s hard to be turned on when you feel you’re being tuned- in by others.

It seems to me the point of origin for your worries is the fact you’re like two ships passing in the night now, so why not drop anchor when convenient for you both. If he arrives home early in the morning from his shift, and you’re in the process of awakening and preparing for your day of duties, before you slip into the shower, slide back under the sheets, make love and use up those precious minutes to feel mutual intimacy. If he’s ready to walk out the door as your coming home, set down your purse and then drop to your knees, give him a quickie of oral pleasure and then pat his butt, hand him his dinner bucket and send him on his way. That will keep his mind occupied while at work!

Couples need to be creative, and I’m sure his ideas didn’t disgust you, just made you apprehensive, so, think a bit further out of the box, let your mind go wild with opportunities for bringing the closeness back into your life. You have the most important things going for you already, fidelity and desire, so work to keep those embers as a blazing inferno!

Vibe Guide States the Buzzin’ Obvious

Sex ToysLeading online condom store, Condomania, recently published a how-to guide for women who’ve never used a vibrator before. Titled “How to Use a Vibrator: Helpful Advice for First-Timers”, the article details the ins and outs of vibe use – and thankfully with less lame puns than this blog – and points out what some might find to be exceedingly obvious. Ranging from inane observations – “Vibrators for women take many shapes and come in various sizes,” – to thinly-veiled product endorsements – “Some first-timers opt for Trojan vibrators, which come in easy to use designs that aren’t intimidating to use or expensive to buy,” – the guide may come across as completely unnecessary to some, but will likely have all those previously asexual Fifty Shades fans giggling in their Nordstrom Rack-purchased frocks and contemplating self-satisfaction of the battery-operated kind.

From setting the mood – “dimming the lights, turning on soft music; whatever you need to feel sexy” – to letting the previously external-only phallus find its way inside – “Allowing the vibrator to enter the vagina simulates sexual intercourse but adds an extra ‘buzz'” – Condomania seeks to cover all areas of vibrator-aided self-pleasure and, somewhat surprisingly, even suggests using a vibe with a partner for added stimulation. A novel concept if ever there was one!

What Condomania’s guide seems to be missing, though, is the efficiency vibrators introduce into masturbation. By selecting the right shape and size of toy, getting to know its settings and potential power, women can feasibly bring themselves to a height of masturbatory bliss and brevity rivaled only by the most accomplished of male self-strokers. Plenty of guys can sit in a restaurant bathroom, spit in their palm, and rub one out in two or three minutes, so what’s with all the candles, scents, and allotment of a solid hour of “me time” needed by the presumed readers of Condomania’s guide. Is the only thing keeping these women readers from near-instant sexual self-gratification the hypocrisy that’d arise should they continue making jokes about feeble sex-obsessed men and their devotion to the manual orgasm process? Nobody said sexual liberation didn’t come with a cost and if that’s less jerk-off jokes, so be it.