Beatin’ on a Budget! with Team Skeet

In the days leading up to the Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa season, saving money is on everyone’s mind. Whether lining up for early morning Black Friday retail chaos or scouring the Internet for the best online bargains, there’s many, many ways to shop well and save a decent chunk of change, perhaps to spend on yourself. So, what Christmas present will you be buying yourself this year? One filled with nubile sluts, drooling deep-throaters, exotic black and Latina babes, and the newest inductees into porn’s ranks of 2014 rookies? Oh good, I see you’re familiar with Team Skeet then!

team skeet

Skeeters (as I like to call ‘em) are folks devoted to 19-site porn network Team Skeet, folks who usually pay $28.97-a-month for access to this teen-heavy sexual playground. And now, just in time for the holidays (when you’ll no doubt jump ship from family room to den/garage/car for a little sanity), Team Skeet is inviting anyone who’s never indulged to do so for a pretty paltry price: $9.87-a-month!

“Hey, Pink? What would I get get if I was one of these ‘Skeeters’ you speak of?” Well, buddy, Team Skeet is home to 19 websites – Exxxtra Small, Innocent High, Teen Pies, Teen Curves, She’s New, Teens Do Porn, Lust HD, Step Siblings, POV Life, Rub-a-Teen, The Real Workout, This Girl Sucks, Teens Love Money, Oye Loca, Teeny Black, Titty Attack, Her Freshman Year, Self Desire, and Solo Interviews – and they serve up all kinds of powerfully explicit sex acts in dazzling High Definition videos, many updating weekly. Sure, some of the sites are no longer updating at all, but this is network porn we’re talking about – that’s always the case! The Team Skeet model roster is as impressive as the network is large – 1,765 scenes at writing and five-to-seven new ones arriving weekly – and features such dazzling dick-wranglers as American cuties Riley Reid and Ali Rae, Chinese Alina Li, African-American babes Ashton Devine and Chanel Heart, and promising newcomers Ava Taylor, Halle Von, and Dakota James. With ladies like these working their magic on the Team Skeet small screen, the origins of this network’s name are no mystery, that’s for sure.

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The Math:
At the introductory price of only $9.87-a-month, Team Skeet has never been more affordable or irresistible. The 19 Team Skeet sites work out to individually cost less than 52¢, an amazing price even for the oddly included European sites Lust HD and Rub-a-Teen. With 1,765 scenes online, it’s clear Skeeters have plenty to ogle, admire, and enjoy here and at a great price, too: individual scenes cost an astonishing .005¢ each! Truly Team Skeet has gone bonkers for bargains this holiday period, either that or they’re all skeeted out and simply acting irrationally. Hey, all the better for us, right?

One tip before you rush off and get yourself into some skeetastic trouble, though: under this promotion Team Skeet memberships automatically rebills at close to full price ($24.87). You’re getting one month of Team Skeet’s treasures for less than ten bucks, but keep an eye on your end-date if you don’t wanna get hit with a twenty-five-dollar charge… although, even at that price, Team Skeet’s well worth it.

Mr. Pink’s Team skeet review

MOFOs Launches Porn Drones

drone hunter They call themselves “The motherfuckers of porn,” but, really, they’re more like the surveillance state of porn nowadays. MOFOs, the network home of sites like I Know That Girl and Let’s Try Anal launched a brand-new site this week called Drone Hunter and it takes a highly original and unusual view of sexual encounters, taking to the skies via a camera-equipped FlyPro X600 remote control drone unit and peering down on rutting couples as only birds and super-heroes previously could.

Drone Hunter’s unique porno perspective comes courtesy of two discreet recording devices: the aforementioned drone equipped with a GoPro Hero3+ HD video camera and a pair of “spy glasses” that, while looking like regular horn-rimmed specs, contains a tiny HD CMOS sensor capable of capturing 720p video from the wearer’s perspective. The resulting hardcore shoots are based on the premise that one dude is traveling the country with this equipment and a few helpers in tow. He meets and seduces hot girls, throws on his specs and captures POV sex tape footage while sending orders to his bros to do the same with the flying drone-carried camera. The girls, for their parts, play innocent and naive pretty well, appearing shocked and scrambling for a towel when they spot something lingering outside their 8th floor window.

Currently holding only five scenes – Gianna Nicole and Kaci Lynn in a lesbian tryst; Jennifer White, Alison Tyler, Mercedes Carrera, and Riley Rey in hetero hardcore romps – Drone Hunter is still finding its feet and could very well change its approach after just a few months online, perhaps aiming for a premise that doesn’t involve deceit, coercion, and stolen surveillance. Call me a momma’s boy if you want, but I like my pornstars to be obviously into what they’re doing, not shouting “Fuck you, you’re filming me, you asshole!” and running out of frame. But, hey, neat concept MOFOs. Keep flyin’.

Moms in Control at Brazzers

Everyone knows Brazzers can’t sit still. Whether introducing a pay-by-gift-card system, buying their way into Madison Ivy’s anus, or launching software that gives you immediate access to any act occurring at any moment in a given Brazzers scene, the infamous ZZ always seems to be pushing ahead and reaching for something greater. So, you knew of course that porn’s biggest online vendor would tackle the whole mother-fucking thing in a whole new way, what with pseudo-incest porn being all the rage these days. Introducing Moms In Control.

moms in control

Pitting a teenage or young adult couple against the girlfriend’s conspiratorial, conniving step-mother, Moms In Control sees young girls learn a thing or two from her step-mom about properly taking care of her man. Of course, with the “moms” played by Dana Vespoli, Bianca Breeze, Syren De Mer and Codi Bryant, you can be sure there’ll be plenty of stroking, sucking, and sharing of cock in each episode. Given the often tempestuous and competitive relationships between two gorgeous women living in the same house, the sexual tension of Moms In Control scenes is incredibly high and often sees the girlfriend not-so-politely requesting her mom stop blowing her boyfriend. Mom, heeding the call to parenting, simply invites her step-daughter to take part and learn a few tricks to ensure her guy’s doodle doesn’t start straying. While not quite as borderline-creepy as many incest-themed pornos around these days, Moms In Control mixes in a bit of female domination and cock-sharing for a thoroughly inspiring good time. In fact, Moms In Control is so hot it’ll make all of you with no chance of becoming some babe’s step-son regret your parents’ rock-solid relationship of 40-something years.

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Moms In Control added a slew of scenes when it went live a few weeks back, but now updates are flowing in steadily and bringing a dynamic new trio to your screen; Mia Malkova, Rebecca Moore, and Ryan Rider, anyone? Or perhaps Eva Notty, Janice Griffith and Jessy Jones will have your libido roaring. There’s a dozen scenes currently available, in 720p and 1080p HD of course, and more hitting the Moms In Control homepage all the time. (Just don’t tell your girlfriend’s dad about it no matter how much of a bro he seems. Trust me on this one.)

 

Beatin’ on a Budget! with Hustler

hustler

We all owe Larry Flynt big time. Without the Hustler head honcho’s relentless protection of the civil liberties of the American public, we’d still be staring at well-dressed women and marveling at their ankles! Thanks to Flynt’s Hustler empire we’ve been granted visual access to some incredibly lustful women in the pages of his magazines and now online at Hustler.com. Thanks should also be extended to Mr. Pink’s, though, for without the bargain hunting skills of our intrepid deal scouts, we’d never be able to offer you the Hustler deal of the decade!

Hustler isn’t a lone hardcore site, not by any stretch of the imagination. It’s a network of 19 websites and usually costs $34.95-a-month. For good reason, too, since membership opens the doors to Hustler’s Taboo, Barely Legal, and Hustler HD sites, as well as VCA Classics (golden age porn), Anal Hookers, Asian Fever, Beaver Hunt, Bossy MILFs, Busty Beauties, Daddy Gets Lucky (age-play), Hometown Girls and Hottie Moms (two sites with “amateur” babes), Hustlaz (black and interracial), Hustler’s Lesbians, Hustler’s College Girls, Muchas Latinas, Scary Big Dicks, Too Many Trannies, and the company’s now-notorious Hustler’s Parodies movies. That’s a huge variety of smut by anyone’s standards and with most of it hitting that high Hustler quality benchmark, it’s one well worth a little cyber-cash on. (Although the heavy presence of non-exclusive, non-Hustler works is a bit of a let down.)


THE MATH:
Mr. Pink’s discount brings the normal $34.95 monthly membership price down to only $19.95, you’re already saving close to half, to look at it another way, getting everything at twice the value! Each of the 19 Hustler websites come out to less than $1.05 with this deal. DVDs, of which there are 2,075, can be had for less than 1¢ each, while individual scenes, currently amounting to 10,076, end up costing an absolute pittance, only a fraction of a cent, just .19¢!

Oh, and there’s 215 issues of Hustler, Barely Legal, and Taboo magazines digitized to for your online reading pleasure, too, if that helps seal the deal. And to celebrate Black Friday, you can now join Hustler for only $14.95 now through December 3rd when you sign up through Mr. Pink’s special Hustler Holiday promotion link. Thanks, Larry!

The Porn Dude Advises

the porn dude

Back in the days the 33.3k modems, heavily contested phone line access, and piled-high floppy disk archives, there was one website above all others that broadened my pornographic horizons and lowered my tolerance for worthless smut. That website, Sublime Directory was, in essence, a listing of adult websites of all kinds, from all countries, and it introduced me to facials, gangbangs, scat, and the amazing work of amateur pornographers the world over. Times changes, though, and people move on. I’d learned more than enough during my patronage of Sublime Directory that I could confidently instruct my friends on where to find celebrity nudes screen-capped from VHS tapes, Southeast Asian pissing videos, or the elusive DVDA we first heard about via South Park. I was, in effect, the porn connoisseur you would all soon come to know and love me as. It was time for something new, so I ventured forth into the professional porn world alone, without any website to guide my taste and opinion. Mr. Pink’s was born and set about un-muddying the world of paid online porn to ensure you, the home viewer, would never be left feeling a pizza was a better option than beating off to, say, Twistys’ bikini galleries.

Every now and then, a potential replacement for my beloved Sublime Directory comes along and asks to be pilfered for porno info. The Porn Dude is one such website, and one such character. Holding court over a simply designed range of charts that chronicle the most visited and most beloved adult websites on the ‘net. And this isn’t just mainstream U.S. porn either, there’s webcam, picture and gif dump, Asian and Arab and Ebony porn sites, the best NSFW Reddit forums, choice picks of hentai, celebrity nudes (real and fake), Tumblr feeds, XXX comics, and adult Flash video games. Fetish sites, explicit Vines, watersports and scat, and adults-only dating sites all get a run, too, with many well-known Mr. Pink’s favorites topping lists left, right, and center.

The Porn Dude’s links are reliably live – I came upon no missing pages or dead links – but, while they connect you to image boards, preview sites, and free content of all kinds, this isn’t a link directory in the same sense of those early ones, Sublime Directory included. You won’t find links to promotional Brazzers, Naughty America, or Net Video Girls scenes here and although that might irritate those on the hunt for a specific woman or very specific act. We who remember the nightmarish pop-up onslaughts and abruptly-ending 10-second preview clips, on the other hand, won’t mind a bit. It would be nice to see a portion of The Porn Dude’s service dedicated to porn reviewers and advice forums to provide sage wisdom from yours truly and colleagues on the merit of the porn you’re now so well connected to. A stronger search tool would also be a welcome addition to this otherwise comprehensive link-fest The Porn Dude has assembled for your benefit. Why not at least bestow upon him a visit if not your undying respect and admiration. After all, he’s gone to so much effort. Thanks, Porn Dude!