Karmen Karma: Deepthroat Champion

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In the waning days of 2014, extreme fellatio site Throated launched a contest that had ten of porn’s most accomplished cock-suckers taking dicks tonsil-deep (and deeper) all in the name of proving their fellatial superiority. Adriana Chechik, Bonnie Rotten, Dana DeArmond, Karmen Karma, Maddy O’Reilly, Riley Reid, Sara Jay, Sarah Vandella, Dahlia Sky and Chanel Preston all lined up to deliver their sloppiest, deepest, and most physically remarkable blowjobs of the year. As is the nature of competition, only one participant can be the victor and this year Throated threw out something of a surprise!

Instead of crowning as the victor a well known open-throated degenerate like ultra-flexible Dana DeArmond or Sarah Vandella (who can wink at the camera with a balls-deep dick tapping her epiglottis) or even everyone’s favorite saliva-and-ejaculate-covered super-whore Bonnie Rotten, Throated’s voting viewers and online team placed the virtual crown upon the head of Karmen Karma. Awarded a $5,000 cash prize for her excellent skills, Ms. Karma immediately took to Twitter to thank her fans, those that voted for her, and, of course, Throated for the opportunity.

(Now that’s how you look after your fans!)

Congratulations to Karmen Karma on nabbing first place, and to Riley Reid and Sarah Vandella in second and third place, respectively. If it were up to me, you’d all be crowned champion deepthroaters and given… I don’t know, a giant sack of gold-plated dicks, I guess.

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The New Face of Kink

Kink.comA new post-breakup haircut or wardrobe can bring you back from the brink of obsession and depression, enlivening your existence with the hope of prosperity, romantic or otherwise. In short: everyone needs a new look now and again. Kink.com, the most notorious adult website operating on U.S. soil, is no different. Having tackled most every conceivable (legal) fetish, kink, and sexually adventurous act, the San Francisco-based studio has obviously decided a new look is the best way to celebrate its continued success. Inviting a select group of loyal members to check out the new online digs, Kink has opened the doors to a beta version of its new website. Always interested in where Kink is headed, I stepped behind the red velvet rope and took a look-see for myself.

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Quite clearly designed with tablet and smart-phone use in mind, Kink has dispensed with the majority of the text that once greeted members, instead thrusting them into an image-based update listing that’s more vibrant and eye-catching than ever. Hovering your cursor over each update (in the form of thumbnail images) strangely doesn’t bring any more information to light; for that you’ll have to make a selection and check out the viewing page. Video streams and download options are all easily accessible and see the same dedication to visual quality that has made Kink the Internet’s go-to BDSM dungeon. If you select a video stream other than that automatically presented on the page, it’ll open not in that same window but in a new tab.

Performers could still be given more info-rich profiles and there’s plenty of room for keyword tags (in a cloud?) and other one-touch navigation tools, but Kink’s certainly onto a good thing as far as clarity and ease-of-use is concerned. Tablet users will love the larger, more vivid thumbnails and the simple menu sidebar, but there’s still some changes to be made. Kink knows this, too, which is why the design is still in beta mode; they’re working out the, uh, kinks. If you’d like to help guide porn’s boldest and baddest fetish workers towards a brilliant new look and greater functionality for your preferred device, you know where to go to sign up, and start making the most of being a Kink.com member at the dawn of 2015.


Face-to-Face with FapShows

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Upstart adult webcam sites are popping up like non-profits these days. Filled with naked and semi-naked women and men of all ages, singles and couples and trios and groups, library-sullying, dildo-deepthroating, Sybian-riding money-maker-shakers great and small, established cam sites like Chaturbate, I’mLive, and LiveJasmin have enjoyed significant growth and success, both deservedly and undeservedly, since 2012. The wave of new contenders arriving in the wake of this flurry of webcam mania don’t seem to be expanding on the basic premise of adult camming – they take off their clothes and viewers tip their appreciation; big tips result in big return favors, sometimes “private” ones –  just refining it to their own particular tastes. Such is the case with one particular upstart of only three months experience: FapShows.

Simplicity is key at FapShows, but that’s not at all a slight. A streamlined layout, free basic membership options, large descriptive previews, and a straightforward payment system without major hiccups. What detriments FapShows’ simplicity brings depend largely on your perspective. Many webcam devotees enjoy a bustling room with a talkative, physically active model really putting on a solidly entertaining show. FapShows is more sedate, however, which happily translates for many viewers into more direct communication with their preferred performers; more often here there’s five, rather than five hundred, in a room.

Some hiccups do knock the wind out of an otherwise smooth FapShows experience: models occasionally appear ‘online’ though they are not; avatars don’t always look like the model they’re representing; category menus start rampantly eating up page space upon opening; and there’s no obvious way to limit your list of available live shows by more than one category, which is crucial if you’re into, say, busty tattooed Asian MILFs. That said, the women (only women, I’m afraid) I encountered at FapShows were quite charming, eager to start chatting, and seemed interested in more than keeping you hanging endlessly around with funds fading faster than your arousal. Hailing predominantly from Central and Eastern Europe, the women, men, and couples found here generally speak solid English and if they’re not immediately enticing you into a private cam-to-cam chat, they’ll be happy to converse while flirting. (Though there is the odd performer incapable of leaving their phone alone; it’s an epidemic amongst camgirls, unfortunately.)

It’s January and the post-holiday fatigue has set in, keeping the erotic interests of many firmly indoors; the bitter cold pushing across the USA doesn’t exactly help. That makes this the perfect time for indulging in a little sexual social-networking and lining up some new on-screen friends for the new year. There’s sites large and small, chaotic and serene with personalities and physicalities of all kinds to be befriended. And, at $1.99-a-minute, a private date at FapShow with DiamondLady, is arguably as worthwhile a way to spend your paycheck as a six or eight gimlets and some sweet potato fries at the pseudo-retro trendoid “saloon” to which your date inevitably will drag you with promises of an swinging, boozy “special experience” that never eventuates.

Sure, it’s digital, but you can’t have everything.