Family Fit – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comMissy Pink,

I have what might be a strange problem. My husband’s Dad recently moved in with us. We’re in the process of fixing up the basement into his separate apartment, but, until then, he’s sleeping on the sofa in our family room. The problem is this, he is obsessed with online porn and he uses my laptop to log on and then jack off while watching it. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve tried my best to disinfect the keyboard and casing because there are splatters of his cum all over it. I’m ready to throw him out of the house but my husband thinks it’s funny, saying things such as, “Men will be men!” Either he leaves or I do.

Having a Family Fit

Dear Friend;

I won’t be so callous as to say I know how you feel, because I don’t. Unless you’re an exhibitionist, or a partaker of group fornication, sex is usually a pretty private endeavor, especially when it comes in the form of masturbation, either solo or shared between partners, but, taking the risk of a family member walking in, well, that would be a difficult situation to say the least. Of course, putting a bit of a fetish spin on it means your father in law may feel a bit of heightened excitement by that very fact, the sneaking and possibility of getting caught is always a powerful aphrodisiac.

With that being said, allow me to play the devil’s advocate and voice an opinion from both sides of the situation. For whatever reasons, your husband’s Dad has left the privacy of his own home and is learning to adapt to sharing a dwelling with you and your family. So, out of respect for him, I have to say, I’m sure it’s not been an easy transaction from his point of view either. There’s going to be a learning curve, it just so happens that curve carries the act of masturbation and orgasms that aren’t cleaned up properly. His stress and despair may be lessened by sexual release in the form of jacking off once he thinks the family has turned in for the night, and, unless he takes the laptop to the bathroom, locking the door behind him, there’s probably not going to be 100% privacy.

I can certainly understand your despair over the situation, not to mention frustration with your husband, who has seemingly incorporated the, “That’s my boy!” type of pride in his Dad. For him, that’s an assurance of his own fate in years to come, if his Father still jerks off often, then he assumes his sex drive won’t decrease with age either. Of course that doesn’t alter the fact that he’s not being very understanding to your concern and anger.

Unless your relative is spending too much of his time enjoying self stimulation, to the point where it’s unhealthy, then, I would say approaching the topic with him may cause a family rift, and humiliation that may be irreversible. He may feel such embarrassment over knowing you are aware of his middle of the night cock cravings that sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner will hold a lot of tension in the air. Not to mention, even speaking of it with him could leave you red in the face and stammering. And by all means, don’t lash out when you’re angry, things can be said that won’t have a way to take back.

My honest advice to you would be, put a fire under getting that basement converted. Whoever is doing the construction work, tell them to put things into high gear so he has his privacy, it will be a win/win situation for both sides. Set up his own computer, make sure the wifi has him connected and then close your mind to what goes on downstairs while you’re upstairs. I realize cleaning up spattered sperm of your Father in Law is not something anyone would particularly want to do, so, expedite the living quarters.

Tell your husband if his Dad continues to cum, you’re going to go!

Over The Knee Needs – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comMs. Pink,

I’ve read your articles and I hope it’s alright for a gay male to ask a question. I’m in my late 50’s, and have been with the same partner for 19 years, but, our sex life has gotten more than stale. It seems nothing I do anymore is exciting to him, he’s grown tired of me and I must admit, I have fantasies that I’ve never told him about, or anyone else before now. I’m not very well endowed, in fact, my manhood is quite small, and the thought of another man humiliating me about the size of my cock while spanking me is the only thing that gets me hard enough to masturbate. I wouldn’t want anyone to find out about my kinky desires, but I’m not sure how to feel that type of turn on.

Over The Knee Needs

Dear Friend;

First of all, never feel shame over your fantasies, the mind works as it does and there are many things we can control in our lives, but drifting, desirable thoughts isn’t one of them. Yes, we can control whether we act upon them or not, but, they’ll slip in when you least expect it, it’s human nature. You can be making passionate love with the person of your dream, having everything absolutely perfect at that moment, but, at the time of orgasm, your mind suddenly shifts to something totally different, it’s just the way our libido works, it’s confusing and exciting, all wrapped up in one morsel of life.

It sounds as if you might be making a circle of sorts with your BDSM fantasy. First of all, you get sexually turned on at the thought of humiliation and spanking, but you also don’t want your long time partner or anyone else to know, which in turn feeds the fire of the same fantasies. It’s as if you’re being punished for having such thoughts, hence, the spanking aspect. And of course, the being ridiculed over having a small cock is also a form of verbal brutality as well.

Meaning, the same items that give you an erection for masturbation are items that bring a subconscious guilt as well, which make them even more taboo. There’s a submissive side to you, and possibly somewhere back in your younger years, you were humiliated by someone and it took a turn into a sexual nature, and you’ve remembered that type of stimulation, now making you long for it once again. You want someone else to control the dynamic in power, and, the spanking is all a part of the humiliation, making it a verbal and physical desire for you.

The question is, do you really want to experience this lifestyle or is it just something in your mind that says if you have it, then everything will be beautiful in your world again. There are many different ways of being degraded in a submissive situation, such as body worship, foot worship, bondage, even menial tasks such as cleaning someone’s house naked, scrubbing floors, toilets, the list could go on endlessly, but for you, the act of being spanked is the main focal point of what you want.

Being gay has nothing to do with your secret desires, these things can live in the mind of people from all sexual orientation. If you don’t feel confident in discussing what you’d like with your partner, then think of a friend, someone you trust, express your desires, even if it’s a female that may have cuckolding tendencies. If she has a male significant other that would be open to a bisexual relationship, share a threesome, get a taste of what you’re wanting and see if it still holds the same power as it does for you to masturbate by.

I would recommend however, no matter who you experience this fetish with, be open and honest with your partner, at least tell him what’s in your heart, what you need at this stage of you relationship, be faithful in the fact that you’ve shared many years together. He may surprise you and partake in the things that intrigue you, to spice things up. You said nothing you do seems to turn him on anymore, which means he’s wanting something different as well. Turn yourself over to him with honesty and he may then surprise you by turning you over his knee.

Buzzing Business – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDearest Missy Pink,

First of all, I want to say, I’m in my mid 40’s, have been married for nearly 20 years and am a successful business owner. My husband has never felt threatened in any way by my place in the community, or financial independence, in fact, he’s always been my biggest supporter in every endeavor. With my job, I do have to travel, and, when packing my suitcases, I will include what I call my “travel toy.” A smaller sized vibrator, sex toy, and, I’ve never hidden it from my spouse. We are open in all discussions about every topic, and our relations are no different. I’ve explained to him that while in a motel room, I enjoy relaxing with a solo masturbation session before falling asleep, it has no reflection on him, it’s just something I do for myself. He feels as though I’m replacing him in our love life with a battery operated device, and he is threatened by my using it. It remains packed in it’s personal case when I’m at home, it only comes out when I pack for a business trip. How do I make him understand he has nothing to fear?

— Buzzing Business

Dear Friend;

There are a few different factors that come in to play

from the situation youve presented me with.

You’re more than pleased in knowing your husband doesn’t feel threatened by your status in the community, or the fact that your paycheck holds a digit or two more than his own, so, first of all, allow me to offer a pat on the back to him for being secure in his manhood. He’s given much it sounds like, but, I’m sure your relationship has been filled with give and take scenarios, so, you’re both to be commended.

Since he has been your biggest fan throughout the occurrences of life, you feel more than confused over why a small sex toy should make him feel inadequate. And he, on the other hand is probably disappointed with himself for having those feelings, but, at least you have the type of closeness where being open and honest is a natural act, nothing is kept inside to brew and manifest into an even larger issue.

For one moment, kick off your high heels and step into his shoes, look at things from where he’s standing. He has supported you throughout the last 20 plus years of your life, he’s stepped back just a bit, with no qualms, for you to be large and in charge, even though some men may have seen that as a blow to their ego, he’s been happy to do whatever puts a smile on your face.

But, when it comes to the bedroom, where your business suit and stockings come off, the glasses are removed from the bridge of your nose, and your long hair falls softly over your shoulders, instead of wrapped tightly on the top of your head, you are now a bit more submissive, and he brings the strength to the sheets. This is where your husband feels he is now in control, the stronger and more powerful, HE is the one that brings you pleasure and passion during hardcore actions. What this means is, when you pick up the case that carries your smaller sized vibrator and place it into your suitcase, he does feel as though he’s being replaced, because in his mind, that battery operated sex toy will bring you to an orgasm the same way he does, and quite possibly, he may fear, even better.

You have the type of relationship with your husband where there’s wonderful openness, use it to the advantage of your marriage. Explain to him that a vibrator could never replace him, but also listen to him when he tries to explain why he feels it might. It’s called compromise. Maybe sharing a little phone sex across the miles could be an alternative, where you can still use the stimulation of your vibrator, but only while hearing his voice, so he feels secure in knowing it’s still him that you want the most. There are endless possibilities as to how this could play out. Don’t brush off his doubts and fears as something ridiculous, anything that’s real to him, should be the same for you.