Missy Pink,
I’m beginning to wonder how many people share the same bed as me and my boyfriend. He’s wonderful and perfect in all areas, except the sexual part. He has a habit of comparing me to his past lovers all the time, just because I don’t always have an orgasm, telling me it must be me, he never had a problem with any other woman, I’m feeling like I’m not good enough for him.
Dry and Disappointed
Dear Dry and Disappointed;
You said your boyfriend is perfect in all areas except sex, but, in my opinion, he’s definitely lacking certain attributes and they happen to show at that particular time. In the first place, if he, and other men for that matter understood that not every woman in the world has the same make-up when it comes to receiving pleasure, the world would be much better off in the bedroom.
Believe it or not, there are actually women that find it nearly impossible to climax at all, and I’m not just talking about during intercourse only. Each female, and male are an individual, and maybe it’s time you find someone that is a bit more understanding and wise in the ways of how a relationship works. There’s a reason why so much conversation revolves around women faking orgasms, and if you’re trying to save your boyfriend’s ego, or live up to the ghosts of girlfriend’s past, then by all means, breathe a little harder, toss a throaty moan in here and there, lift your pelvic area and make him feel as though a rush of estrogen filled juices are flowing over his male member, he’ll roll over, start snoring and have sweet dreams…thinking he’s the stud of saturated sheets. Chances are, that’s what many of his ex’s did as well, so he’s not as good as he thinks.
So what if foreplay takes a little longer, what if his tongue needs to work a bit faster on your clit, or maybe an extra few minutes for passionate kissing is called for, when you care about someone, you want them to be satisfied, not under a pretense, but rather reality. Many times women seem to get the short end of the stick (pun intended) when it comes to assuring our needs are met, if not, there wouldn’t be such a high surge in battery sales!
Chances are, he’s handsome, makes a great conversation piece between you and your gal pals, and maybe brings you flowers now and then, but there’s more than that – that will make him a keeper. If his past lovers have faked orgasms to keep him in the love nest, then he probably believes he’s every woman’s answer to satisfaction, so, in order to keep his batting average high, he’s going to make you feel inadequate. Do not let this happen! There’s nothing wrong with you, and in no way should you ever be compared to anyone’s previous conquest, that says volumes for your boyfriend, and none of it equals an adjective of, “perfect,” as you used.
Think long and hard about sharing your bed with others from your boyfriend’s memory, or, if you can handle things as they are now, then at least assure yourself they aren’t lying there smoking a cigarette with a big smile on their face, they probably still have an ache in their loins and wonder what the hot, next door neighbor might be doing in the morning. Stick to your guns, educate him, if he still refuses to think the problem might be his approach, then you have to decide what’s more important. Never be judged, never be made to feel like you’re second best, and never be unhappy to keep him living a fantasy. Instead of being dry and disappointed, find the person that makes sure you’re wet and satisfied. Comparisons work between apples and oranges, but even fruit will spoil and needs to be tossed out now and then!