Dear Missy Pink,
Before my husband and I were married, he had an insane streak of jealousy, which never bothered me, it was flattering and showed me he cared. Now it’s been a little over two years since we became man and wife and the jealousy is gone. He’s noticed other guys checking me out and even men he works with will make comments, and he’ll laugh and shrug it off. I’m not sure how to take his new action, or lack of it, should I start to flirt back with other men to see if I find a spark?
Losing the Desire
Dear Losing;
There are a number of ways to take into consideration what the cause of your issue may be, and even more ways to handle it, but certainly not the one you’re thinking of.
Just because before your marriage he showed rage when someone was attentive towards you doesn’t mean he loved you more than he does now, and with only two years under your belt of marital bliss, now is certainly not the time to test his affection. You may have seen his jealousy as a compliment, but for him, it may have been the fact that he loved you so much, he was afraid of losing that love, a bit of insecurity on his part, but, now and then, you’ll find that trait in men and women alike. Once you said the, “I do’s,” he began to feel more at ease, you married him, you love him, you’re man and wife, and, as the vows go, “until death us do part.”
It’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s just that he’s confidant in his trust within you, so, should you begin some innocent flirtation back with the men that are tossing their balls into your court, he will probably witness as you not loving him the way he felt you did. Your bond is still on a strong learning curve right now, I’m sure you both learn something new about one another every day, those are the traits that will make you fall in love all over again, and keep the already present love stronger. However, a bit of mistrust and he’ll start second guessing his comfort zone. And, let us not forget, sometimes even innocent flirting for whatever reason, can lead to something else. Even though you don’t have any intention of being unfaithful, all it takes is one vulnerable moment, and a pair of bedroom eyes laced with charm, and you may shed your inhibitions and your clothing, leaving you consumed with guilt.
The old saying, “less is more” can certain play into this situation, the less you give him cause to question, the more your marriage will bloom and become everything you’ve both wanted it to be. Instead of turning on your feminine wilds with one of his co-workers, flip the switch for your spouse. Show him you’re appreciative of his trust and that you don’t want to saturate the sheets with anyone else. Slip into some sexy lingerie, light a few candles, and introduce your body to him in ways he’s not experienced before. Remember the learning curve I mentioned? Well, that pertains to the emotional as well as the physical. Leave the lights on in the bedroom, assume an un-ladylike position, offer him everything that you have to give, go a little wild, it’s okay to partake in hardcore pleasure, after all, you’ve got a piece of paper framed on the living room wall and a ring on your finger that gives permission.