Missy Pink,
Prepare yourself for an odd sexual issue. My boyfriend and I have lived together for nearly 3 years, and, we complement one another beautifully, he’s the yin to my yang. Daily life and nighttime adventures have always been more than pleasing…until lately. A little over a year ago, he proposed marriage, of course, I accepted and we have been working on the plans and such, all of which we’re enjoying tremendously. But, his personality has gone through some odd changes, especially during lovemaking. He now talks! Now, I don’t mean saying dirty things that would spice up foreplay and orgasm, no, nothing like that, he talks about things such as what he wants for dinner the next night, how bad the traffic jams were that morning on the way to work, mundane and what I see as very odd topics when I’m trying to concentrate on cumming. These things could be discussed over the dinner table, but not while he has my legs over his shoulders and my libido on the rise! How do I tell him to shut up and fuck me?
— Blabbing In The Bedroom
Dear Friend;
Well, it certainly sounds as if you have a chatty fiancé! From the way you expressed your issue, things sounded almost storybook or fairy tale perfect, UNTIL the topic of marriage and the wedding plans began. Whether you realize it or not, you stated a timeline that is a huge insight into what the problem might be, one that I think you may already have considered, but possibly want to hear it from someone that’s not sharing the sheets and the weekly menu with you.
It could be that your boyfriend is feeling some anxiety, uncertainty and/or fear about the approaching wedding. You yourself mentioned how in sync the two of you have always been, nearly three years of a fairy tale romance, which tells me, if you’ve been feeling such jubilation, then, your boyfriend has felt the same way, more than comfortable in how things are. He may be experiencing a bit of the cold feet syndrome, worried that once the “I do’s” are uttered and the birdseed has been tossed, things are suddenly going to change. You know the old saying, “Sex changes after marriage, you’re suddenly in bed with a relative.” He could be feeling the growing pangs, and they aren’t the type to bring you closer together.
By complaining about the traffic situation or making it clear what he’d like to have on his plate the next evening for dinner, it sounds like he’s making his place in the relationship known. He may be living these days by the thought, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” He needs to be convinced that having his signature on the marriage certificate isn’t going to change the way life has been all along with you. It was the love the last 3 years has created that brought him to the point of proposing, now it’s time to assure him, it can only get better over the next 50 years.
It’s time to talk, get counseling, whatever it takes to ease his fears. Go for more oral sex, he certainly can’t talk with his mouth full…so keep him between your thighs as a reminder of what good times are yet to, “Cum” through married life.