Category: Missy’s Sex Advice

Missy Pink,

My boyfriend and I began seeing each other as a couple about 18 months ago, but, we’ve been friends for over 4 years. I’ve always known he considers himself to be bi-sexual. He’s never acted upon it, but has always said it’s just something he feels. Our sex life is okay, not frequent, but it does happen, however he can’t cum unless I’m performing oral sex on him, and I always feel neglected sexually. I truly care about him and I know he feels the same, but needs aren’t being met and I don’t know how fair that is in a relationship.

Needing More

Dear Friend;

First of all, allow me to say, congratulations to your boyfriend for being honest up front, and, a pat on the back to you for venturing into a relationship with him knowing that you may not hold his full, sexual attention.

It sounds to me like the most treasured aspect of what you both share, is your friendship. He has a lot of thoughts and emotions going on and he trusts you, that’s a precious commodity to have in life.

With that being said, there are some decisions to be made. I’m sure neither of you want to lose the close trust and comfort of being the go-to person in this crazy thing called life. But, you need to ask yourself if periodic sex is enough for you, especially when oral sex is what he desires and there’s not much attention paid to you, in the physical sense. He’s been more than upfront about everything from the beginning, so, to expect more, or to think you can change him, that’s not being reasonable on your part.

You cannot force someone to be something they’re not, and, if you consider how hard it is to change something about yourself…now imagine how difficult it is to change someone else.

It sounds as if the two of you have a bond in friendship that is worth treasuring, and, remaining in a relationship where hopes are high but the fulfillment is low, it will begin to alter the closeness between the two of you. Maybe it’s time he takes the steps called for in experiencing romance with another man, only then will he truly understand himself better, hence, being able to understand his relationship with you better as well.

As much as you may not want to hear this, encourage him to be who he is, and if that’s bisexual, or gay, love him still for the wonderful person he is. He’s still the same person you’ve built a cherished friendship with, and closeness is felt in a hundred different ways, not just with intercourse.

Dear Missy Pink,

I have a sexual hang-up. When I was in my late teens, my parents walked in to find my boyfriend going down on me. I was humiliated! They screamed, grounded me, and treated me horribly until I finally left for college and unfortunately, didn’t come back often for visits. Every time I would see them, I could still hear the things they said and the names they called me. It was so traumatic, it’s made me feel ashamed and dirty to partake in what should be exciting acts of sexual closeness. I’m now almost 30 years old and every relationship I’ve had has ended the same way, I want to be intimate, but, I can’t recover from the disgrace.

– Celibate and Sad 🙁

Dear Friend;

It’s not an easy thing to overcome humiliation in any form, but, when it’s sexual, it seems to root deeply and not want to release. Being “discovered” by a friend or stranger would be embarrassing, but, to have it be your parents, yes, the trauma would be very hard to forget. Not only are we raised to believe sexual acts are taboo, and, that training begins at a early age,…”Don’t masturbate, it will make you go blind!” or, “If you touch yourself, you’ll grow hair on your palms!” So, combining that stigma, along with the forever striving to make our parents proud, only to be caught in a “personal situation,” such as that, it’s one of those, “just let me find a hole and crawl in,” scenarios.

Being caught would have been humiliating all on its own accord, but, it sounds as if the reaction of your parents is what’s caused the scarring upon your sexual libido. Your feelings have probably gone from humiliation to anger and then, back and forth a few times.

You’re nearly 30 years old, it’s time to cut the umbilical cord, release yourself from their stern words and discipline. As long as you allow their words to continue haunting your thoughts, you’re allowing them the victory they were striving for. You weren’t doing anything wrong, or at least nothing that a very large percentage of the world’s population wasn’t doing at that age, it’s over and done with, it’s very much time to move on.

You’re no longer under their roof and they have no say as to who’s between your thighs! Open your mind and your legs, recall how good it all felt before they stepped into your zone of arousal, you’re missing out on the many wonders and wetness of softcore and hardcore sex. If it takes counseling, get it, if you think you can move past it on your own, then by all means…move, but, it doesn’t sound as if that’s happening very easily. Even though you were free to come and go, it’s as if they still have you locked in the attic, an outcast to the family, it’s time you forgive them and yourself.

You’re a grown woman, with needs, wants and desires, but no relationship because you’re allowing them to block the erotic endorphins. Take a deep breath, square your shoulders, put on sexy lingerie and get back in touch with the world of orgasmic pleasure.

Missy Pink,

So I’m an older male, 38 years old, but my sexual excitement is like that of a teenager, meaning I can’t hold out long enough to pleasure my wife through intercourse, I cum too fast. She doesn’t complain, but it bothers me, and I don’t know how to make sure she’s satisfied and not disappointed.

Quick Release

Dear Friend;

There are many things about sex that statistics seem to rule, such as, and among other things, “How long should intercourse last?” Too many studies, too much data gathered, with an enormous amount of money spent and complexes created by the bottom line of their investigations. No two people are alike in any manner, which includes their sexual practices, and buried upon a hill somewhere is no stone to overturn, holding all of the secrets of life and sex.

If your wife hasn’t complained, that’s always a good sign. Have you asked her if she feels sexual satisfaction when in bed with you, or are you going by your own assumption and feeling of inadequacy? There are times when we’re our own worse erotic enemy. If we could free our minds and just enough the moments, however many they may be, that is where the true satisfaction lies.

Locker room talk with the boys, movies, television shows, and your favorite porn sites all paint a picture that gives a high bar to live up to. The fact that you’re this concerned about your spouse’s orgasmic satisfaction speaks volumes, and kudos to you for being thoughtful.

Maybe your concentration should turn more towards foreplay than the actual finish line. What the male gender forgets at times is the fact, for women, being intimate isn’t always about a mind blowing orgasm, it’s the physical and emotional closeness of being with someone we care about that makes it special and endearing. Spend time applying oral sex, allow her to cum once, or more of course, to feel her excitement rippling across hard nipples and a swollen clitoris. Touch her gently, use your fingers in a tender manner to turn her on from head to toe. The more aroused she is, the more excited she’ll feel about having you penetrate her, and also, how much she’ll WANT you to cum, to know that you have reached completion, caused by making her feel like a woman first of all.

There are no written rules, it’s all about what feels good to you both. If you continue beating yourself up over this issue, you’re going to find much enjoyment leaving your sexual sessions.

If it would make you feel better, see your family doctor, rule out anything physical and then just pride yourself on the fact that you still have the sexual drive of a younger male, I’m sure your wife appreciates that fact about you much more than you realize.

When you get home from work, have a talk with the Mrs., tell her how you’re feeling and what your doubts are, honesty first, orgasm second. Once you iron out all of the details, turn dinner down to simmer, you’ll be getting plenty to eat in the bedroom!

Missy Pink,

This is going to sound like one of the oddest questions you’ve ever gotten, but here goes nothing. My wife and I, after 20 years of marriage have gotten pretty stale. We both work outside of the home, but, for some reason we go our own ways, no conversation, barely any sex, just a routine that we both have gotten tired of. She was reading an article to me the other day from one of her woman magazines about cuckolding. I’d never heard of it, but she is quite interested. I’m not sure if she’s just looking for a way to have sex with someone else, or, if she’s warming up to a fetish lifestyle. I admit, I’m a bit submissive for the most part, and it does intrigue me. Is this kinky way of living healthy for a relationship?

– Waiting To Watch

Dear Friend,

First of all, let me say this, no one can say if cuckolding or any other form of sexual pleasure is considered healthy for a relationship, no one can answer that but the people directly involved. I will say, talk it through thoroughly with your wife, play out every possible scenario you can think of, the actions and reactions, and even when you think you’ve come to grips with what it will be like, think a little harder, because it will be more powerful than what you have forming in your mind when it comes to the reality.

You said you’re a bit submissive, which, I can see where that would play into things, but, actually not as much as you think. When a person thinks of being submissive, images of being tied to the bed, blindfolded, being led around by a choker collar to service the dominating person that has you performing oral sex upon them, and orgasm denial for yourself come to mind. There’s more to being a cuckold than just sitting, being humiliated and controlled by another person. This is your spouse, someone you’ve grown very accustom to in the last 20 years, giving her body to another person while you watch, that takes more than just a submissive mind frame.

Granted, this lifestyle, along with swinging and other fetish criteria does appeal and work very well for many couples. They find it enhances their relationship in ways that make them much stronger and durable, but, something tells me, a small percentage of them just happened to come across a magazine article and were ready to jump into it while discussing the weather over a morning cup of coffee. If you’ve never thought of your wife being one that could enjoy hardcore excitement with another person in front of you, then, something may have changed somewhere, and you need to explore deeper than just the notion of a wild sexual act.

I’m not saying for you to partake, and I’m not saying for you to avoid, I’m merely advising you to be certain this is something you both feel equally comfortable with, because this is one of those instances, once it’s done, there’s no undoing what’s happened. So, proceed carefully and slowly, and should you both come to a mutual agreement that cuckolding is in your near future, then I’d say, get comfortable and enjoy the show!