Sex Advice | Mr. Pink's Blog

Belly Down Disappointed – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Dear Missy Pink, I feel like I might be losing the interest of my husband and I don’t know what to do. We’ve been married for 14 yrs, and even though sex has always been just so-so between us, still the closeness of the act always made me feel good. He would always orgasm, so I assumed that meant he was happy. About 18 months ago, I was sound asleep in the middle of the night, lying on my belly and suddenly I felt him on top of me, he was like a man I’d never known, his excitement was off the scale. Now, that’s the only way he wants to do it, with him instructing me to not move, but, for me, I feel like I’m an object, not a wife that he loves.

Dear Belly Down Disappointed;

Sometimes I think when a couple fall in love and decide upon marriage, there’s a pre cursor of thought that fills our mind, such as, we are the only thing they need in life to bring them joy, and there must be a parallel pattern to thought patterns that involve everything in life, which includes sex. You admitted your sex life for over a dozen years had only been so-so, but rather than make waves, you found the silver lining to the dark cloud, the intimacy factor and was content. Even though your husband experienced orgasms doesn’t mean it was the greatest pleasure he’d ever experienced, you know what they say about sex, even the worst they’ve ever had was still good.

I’m wondering what facet of your spouse’s new appeal to arousal disturbs you the most. My guess would be the fact that you’re on your belly and unable to experience the eye contact, the viewing of his expression during those throes of thrusting, that is where the intimacy that you mentioned is felt. Of course there could also be the feeling of not really being wanted, but instead, being taken. He is claiming his woman, marking his territory, being a manly man.

There could be many reasons as to why he’s found joy in you lying there, being submissive, while he rules the hardcore scenario, and this does teeter on the fine line of being fetish related. If it were a once in a while sort of dominance on his behalf, I’d consider it sexual play, role model type of interaction and give kudos for this being incorporated into your love-making. But, if this is the only way he wants it now, then the pleasure for you must be plummeting quickly.

It’s time to have a conversation, out of the bedroom, and maybe even out of the house. Go for a ride, stop for a cup of coffee, whatever the case may be and just lean across and softly begin making your feelings known. After 14 years together, I can’t see him suddenly becoming selfish, but I can see him accepting your views and at least considering, even if he doesn’t openly talk about them. Keep the words few in count, but powerful in meaning, you don’t want him to suddenly hear nothing but, “blah, blah, blah,” you’ll want him to take you seriously.

When the sun goes down, bring him up! Take him to the bedroom, shower him with a little extra affection, put him in the mood to show you the same sort of attention, and then prove to him how much fun being face to face can be. A lot can be said for missionary position, so lift those legs high and let him take you in caveman style!

Wanting The Old Days Back – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pink,

I’m a 24 year old female and I haven’t had a lot of sexual experience, but I now have a steady boyfriend and we are very active in the bedroom. He’s a few years older, and even though I enjoy the personal things we share nearly every night, there is something missing. I remember in high school the way girls would take about going to first base, second base and so on, and I miss the excitement of those bases being rounded. There was something about the hiding and sneaking that added to the warm up for me and now that I have my own place and he can spend an entire night, it just seems as if it’s “normal” now and I’m not sure I want that.

Wanting The Old Days Back

Dear Wanting The Old Days Back,

You may think your issue is felt only by yourself and that something isn’t clicking right within you, but rest assured, you’re no different than anyone else, and many times that will go for both genders.

There was no mention of how long you and your boyfriend have been together, but no matter the time frame, it sounds like there may be a bit of a rut going on. Even though you’re left happy after being horny, there are a thousand paths that can lead to the same destination, and some of those avenues may carry that something extra that will make your arrival more filled with screaming, not just sighs.

Stimulation comes in many forms, and it doesn’t always have to be hardcore to get the job done. It sounds as if even though you don’t have a lot of experience, you do have pleasant memories of intimate times shared. Maybe it’s time you had a talk with your boyfriend, tell him you enjoy your sexual sessions, but now and then, you miss the playful part of foreplay. Or, if you’re not really the verbal type, then act upon your own whims.

The next time the two of you go to the grocery store, walk ahead of him a few paces, bend over a lot to get something from the bottom shelf, flash him your butt and long legs, let him feel a bit of stirring somewhere around the produce section and then continue your tease all the way to frozen foods. If you’re there to shop, then give him something to want to take home with him. Lean across to squeeze a cantaloupe for ripeness, and in doing so, allow your own melons to brush across his arm, he’ll feel the firmness and know that you’re ready to be plucked from the vine of erotica.

Nothing says everything has to remain as a routine, that’s the demise of so many relationships, and usually it falls upon the shoulders of one in a relationship to take the step and add some spice back into the saturation. The little flaunting and flirting you can share while roaming the aisles for discount prices on day old meat may be just the thing to have him sporting a boner that could put some of the cucumbers to shame. Act innocent, don’t let him know your advances were pre-meditated, and then, by the time you get to the vehicle, he’ll be looking at you through glazed donut type of eyes.

From there, keep it going, sit close, reach over and massage the rise in his Levi’s, slowly unzip his pants, set him free and then begin stroking him with a meticulous rhythm. Chances are, he’s going to drive right past your house, not wanting the feeling to stop yet, so, if you purchased perishables, toss a bag of ice in the trunk with them. Hike your skirt up, flash him your panties and let his own fingers do a bit of exploring. Your libido will be off the chart with that naughtiness of hitting third base once his finger slides deep inside your vaginal area. You may both experience an orgasm before the ice cream has time to soften, and then clear a path for the bedroom when you get home, each of you will be ready for a round of hardcore plunging.

There’s nothing wrong with keeping those delights of your puberty years, they’ll keep you young and full of cum through adulthood. Now, don’t you have a grocery list to make out?

Lingering Lust – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pink,

So consider me an abnormal woman and maybe even a bit on the crazy side, but I have grown so tired of my boyfriend’s want to have hours of foreplay! You probably don’t hear that much, but now and then I would much more enjoy a quickie, I’m in the mood to do it, let’s do it and get it done, but he thinks if sex starts at 8 pm, it shouldn’t end until midnight or after. I’m tired of the diddling, I want it fast, furious and straight to the hardcore. Am I really that different from other women?

Lingering Lust

Dear Lingering;

I must admit, your complaint isn’t one to be heard on a daily basis while sharing pink drinks with your best gal pals on a Friday night. Most women would give their favorite handbag for a man that would be as attentive and romantic.

In trying to see both sides of the coin, it sounds as if you’re trying to make change in your relationship. Even though it’s simple enough to switch your brand of laundry detergent, or you opt for a bolder flavored mouthwash, when it comes to what happens in the bedroom, often routine and comfort, play such a huge role, any straying from the normal can knock your world off its axis.

Just like with any issue of disagreement in a relationship, the key is communication. I’m sure you don’t think twice in mentioning your car isn’t running quite right and you’re going to take it in for a tune up the following day, so, why not use that same approach when wanting a tune up to your intimate routine.

I have to say one thing, kudos to your boyfriend for being the dream of a high percentage of the female gender, most of the time women are left laying beside a snoring man that rolled over, shared a few thrusts, landed his dismount and resumed slumber before his side of the sheets had time to chill. And, in trying to be sympathetic to both sides, I can see where there would be times when you’re just not in the mood for extreme foreplay, you want to feel the closeness and the release, but in a more, caveman style of taking. No one has the same sexual urge every night of the week, wants are changed as often as underwear.

As I mentioned above, it’s time to have a talk, the tongue can be used for more than oral sex, so utilize it. Make a nice dinner, and let the relaxation surmount with each course, and then, as you’ve wiped your mouth with your napkin, then start talking a bit dirty from the cleaned surface. Use finesse , make sure your lover understands you appreciate his attentive nature and you’re not saying you don’t ever want to spend hours in play mode before going in for the delivery, it’s just there are times when your animalistic urges say, “Take me, take me now!”

Who knows, maybe he’s trying to be a gentleman before juicing and there could actually be those days when you’ve been on his mind all afternoon and he’d enjoy coming home, finding you bent over the dishwasher and just manhandle you with passion. There’s a lot to be said for hardcore pleasure, just as words aren’t few in the realm of intimacy either, the trick is finding the combination that works for you both, and I think this time, it’s best to let your lips do the talking instead of letting fingers do the walking.

Torn Up and Confused – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Dear Missy Pink,

This may be one of your strangest questions, but here goes. I’m 34 years old, and had been married for 6 years, then I found out my wife had been cheating on me throughout most of our marriage and I divorced her immediately, which was 4 years ago. After the divorce, I’d lay in bed at night thinking things over, and I found myself getting turned on by her being with someone else. With my new girlfriend I discussed how I get excited at the thought. At first she would tell me dirty stories, lies if you will about being with other men and I would be harder than ever before, then we made an agreement to be “open” in our relationship with the understanding that it was for the physical only. We both have had sex with another person, and told each other about it, which was hot, but I found out the other night she has seen the same guy multiple times now, without me knowing of it, and I feel like she’s being as unfaithful as my ex-wife, how do I explain my hurt?

Torn Up and Confused

Dear Torn;

Well, you are the classic case of wanting your cake and eating it too, however in this case your girlfriend is the cake and you’re upset because someone else is eating her!

There are certain aspects and guidelines to be honored if a couple decide to be open in their relationship, not to mention a huge amount of trust, it’s not for everyone, and unless you’re extremely lucky, someone is going to be emotionally hurt and left feeling as though something went horribly wrong, and that’s where you are now.

It might be time to live a day in your girlfriend’s panties and see things from her point of vaginal view. I assume she came into this relationship because she had feelings for you, and then, you spring the idea of sharing sex with others on her and for whatever reason, she went along with it…maybe it was hurt because she knew you wanted to sleep with someone else, but even more so, got turned on at the thought of her doing it, so she gave it the ol’, “Hell with him, if that’s what he wants, that’s what he’ll get!” frame of mind. It could also be if she’s a bit low on self esteem and self respect, she may have felt that would be the only way to keep you, so, she did it, thinking it would turn you on and make you happy.

It’s hard to demand monogamy when you’ve been given the green light to fool around. You may have agreed to keep things physical, with no emotional attachment to anyone, but, did you ever discuss laying down rules that you would inform one another before any sexual scenario would transpire, and, did you factor in that females see physical as emotional 99% of the time, so, even though there’s a fine line, the heart and loins can easily cross it. Maybe her “new” lover restricts himself to only her, and that’s what she had hoped for from you, so, she keeps going back where she knows she and no one else is wanted between the sheets.

There are so many factors to fornication outside of a committed relationship, many of which are hard to consider as rules when the heart doesn’t abide by guidelines, and the brain…well, it has a mind of its own as well. Human nature is the grand marshal in any pornographic parade, and when you requested your girlfriend put herself on display for extracurricular activity in the bedroom, she did as you wanted, and now all of a sudden you’re ready to pack up your box of 64 Crayola Crayons and say the game’s over.

It’s time you decide what you really want, who you really want and then stake claim to your choice. It sounds to me like you need to be on the unlimited dating list and not a steady and stable guy to any one woman. Don’t be angry with your girlfriend, don’t even be angry with yourself, just do some soul searching, the problem lies in what you want as an aphrodisiac and how far you’re willing to go to get it.