Sex Advice | Mr. Pink's Blog

Orgasmic Lies – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Dear Missy Pink;

I’m almost too ashamed to write this letter, but, with you being a stranger it’s easier for me. My husband feels disgust towards me and I can’t really blame him. For the past 10 years I’ve been faking my orgasms, and, I did a very good job for a long time, he thought he was bringing me sexual pleasure which enticed him into cumming as well. What I didn’t tell him was that intercourse just doesn’t do it for me. Yes, we do oral sex in foreplay and I can orgasm like that, but, he wants me to do it again when he’s inside of me and I always lie and put on a show in the bedroom to make him think I’m going wild underneath him. Last weekend, after we finished, I thought he’d gone to sleep, as usual and I slipped into the bathroom, where I have my vibrator hidden and was in the process of finishing myself off when he opened the door and caught me. Now he says he feels like less of a man and he’s disgusted with me, and, I’m disgusted with myself.

Orgasmic Lies

Dear Orgasmic Lies;

What you’re suffering from is shared by a huge percent of the female population, it’s nothing to be ashamed over, but, it is something you can work on, and be sure to include your husband while doing so, it will be an addition to your foreplay routine that will stimulate both of you.

It’s apparent you have access to the internet, since you emailed your question to me. Start doing some research, I think you’ll be surprised at how many references you’ll find to not being able to achieve an orgasm through intercourse. It’s not an easy thing, telling your mate that you’re faking the moans and groans of pleasure, but, if there’s love, there’s understanding.

There’s been enough falsehood in your relationship, now is the time for honesty. Explain to him that it’s nothing about his manhood, or his ability to make you feel like a woman, it’s just something within you that keeps those flood gates closed while he’s housed in your saturated stall. If you’ve made it a practice of using a vibrator for clitoral stimulation for the excitement of an orgasm, your body has grown accustom to that certain stimuli, and, it could be you just need to be introduced to another means of moisture. It might take a little time, but, it will be well worth it in the end, and during for that matter, because in the process you’ll both be learning much more about each other’s bodies and desires, and that’s always a good thing.

Don’t be shy about bringing your buzzing buddy into the bedroom, share what feels good with your husband, let him use it on you, the more open the two of you become, the more satisfaction you’re going to feel from many different facets of your marriage. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t be as hurt as he is right now, which says the foundation is there, you just need to continue building upon it.

Who knows, before long, you may be ready to toss the batteries from your sex toy and open your thighs wide for the orgasmic pleasure of having your husband plugged into you!

Hard Luck – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pink,

There’s a girl I’ve known since high school, we’re now in our late 30’s, and we’re still the best of friends, the problem is, I want more than that. She is very comfortable around me, meaning we shop together, she’ll try on clothes in front of me, and thinks nothing about walking around her apartment in just panties and bra when I’m there. The problem is, I have true feelings for her and seeing her undressed makes me want to have sex with her right then and there. How do I tell her how I feel, emotionally and physically for her? I have to hide my erection and my love.

— Hard Luck

Dear Hard Lucky;

This is not an uncommon problem. Your friendship began early in life, and it grew into a very comfortable zone for you both. I’m assuming you shared pizza and secrets and became like brother and sister, more than a couple with romantic interest, which is wonderful, it helped you both get through puberty and life. Since you’ve had quite a few years of laying the ground work in building your strong friendship, it may be a bit difficult laying anything else.

I would not recommend you jumping her bones as she bends over with her head in the refrigerator, wearing nothing but a thong and bra. If she’s been that open with you, she may not have had the same thoughts you are, or, maybe deep down, the fantasy has crossed her mind, and she’s seeing if you become aroused by her state of undress in your presence.

Conversation is a wonderful thing, and after all these years, I would say you’re probably able to open up about anything while she listens, so, begin in a subtle manner. It would work well for you to drop little hints here and there, or instead of going out for pizza and a beer, take her to a nice restaurant, with candlelight and wine. That may be just enough for her to see you in a different light. You don’t want to ruin the friendship, but, you can’t continue going through the day with a set of blue balls either. Go slow, but stay steady, and when the moment is right, you’ll know it. Explain to her delicately that you have feelings that extend beyond friendship, let her know you care for her emotionally, and desire her sexually. The image in your mind as she’s been a bit of an exhibitionist around you may have turned you into a voyeur, but, one with a heart.

The more she takes her clothes off, the more you need to open up and express what’s driving you crazy inside. If handled correctly, there may be fireworks going off above your bed as she graces the sheets, minus the lingerie, and you’ll have everything you want in your arms.

Kinky Clothes – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Dear Missy Pink,

My problem is with my girlfriend. We’ve been seeing each other for about a year and she has a fetish about her panties. She can barely open her dresser drawers, where she has what looks like hundreds of pairs she’s bought. I don’t mind that part, they’re pretty and sexy and she looks hot wearing them, but, she doesn’t want to take them off when we’re having sex. She says they make her feel wild when the silky material is rubbing against her woman areas. I have to just slide the crotch of her panties to one side to get into her and in all this time I’ve never had sex with her completely naked in bed. If her panties could talk, there’s stories to tell, but I’m not finding a very happy ending.

Kinky Clothes

Dear Kinky Clothes ;

Your question reminds me of an old saying, “Panties aren’t the best thing on earth, but they’re right next to it.” With that being said, it sounds as though your girlfriend definitely has a fetish for silkiness against her intimate erogenous zones. It’s a bit difficult when a certain kinky trait is not shared by both in a relationship, but, compromise belongs in the bedroom, the same as it does in the office.

Maybe it’s time for you to do some shopping, purchase a few pair of sexy, crotchless panties , giving her the ability of leaving them on, and still opening the gateway of gooeyness for your venture. Offer to get a bit wild and take a shower with her, when she’s totally naked at that time, lather up the lust and get clean and dirty at the same time. There are ways around your issue and not make it a deal breaker to your relationship.

Everyone has a little something hidden in their psychological make-up that is a turn on for temptation and tease, for some it is noticeable, for others, it may remain in just a fantasy state of mind. When the warmth of your body rubs against the softness of her underwear, which stimulates her skin and nerve endings, she finds that to be a major turn on, and, since you didn’t mention anything about their being issues as far as achieving orgasm and such, I’d say things must be satisfying as long as she can have… Hanes her way.

You want her to be satisfied, and you know what it takes for that to happen, although, your excitement needs to be addressed as well, which means a heart to heart talk and a meeting in the middle. Don’t make the conversation, “brief,” be as open as her thighs, and as truthful as the fit of her panties. If it means going from the shower to the shaft, before she’s stepped into her bloomers, then so be it. Don’t throw your relationship in the trash, because she won’t keep her panties in the drawer.

Oh, and who says her panties can’t talk, after all, there is a set of lips inside of them, move in for a closer reception, and maybe what you have to say in return will make her want to shed the silk for the natural side of hardcore pleasure.

Literature Lust – Mr. Pink’s Sex Advice

Dear Missy Pink,

I’m a female, 40+ in age, married to the same man for 21 years. Life has become comfortable, yes, routine and at times feeling a bit of a rut has taken over, but still, comfortable. We’re the typical next door neighbor, we both work, empty nesters, are in bed after the nightly news and Saturday nights are reserved for sex. My one relaxing act through the week is reading, and, I enjoy the dirty paperback books that need to be hidden between reading episodes. That’s how I put myself to sleep at night, dozing off between chapters. My husband recently picked up one of my books for the first time and read through a few pages. Now he’s thinking I want what’s written on the pages and he’s excited about trying different types of sexual fetish acts, and I don’t want that at all, it’s fun to read about, but, that’s where it stops. How do I tell him without him thinking I’m just not interested in getting kinky with him?

Literature Lust

Dear Lust,
Well, it’s a fine pornographic pickle you find yourself in! If you were to ask 10 women if they’d be game to follow his excitement or would they be more apt to agree with you, where reading about it is enough, I would have to first ask, how many of those 10 women are single, how many married. I say that, for a good reason.

When a couple get together and everything is new, exciting, abundantly wrapped in flirting and innuendoes, they enjoy the naughtiness of reaching an orgasm. The acts of hardcore pleasure, fetish filled moments that make them think about what’s transpired until they have the next erotic escapade. It’s all consensual and sensual when it’s fresh and new, but, as you mentioned, you’ve been married for over twenty years, so, there is this sort of adult image, an aura of being a responsible pillar of the community, things have settled down to a pace you feel good about. For singles, there is still that wildness of exploration and experimentation, for married people, it’s familiarity.

Men are visual creatures, so, as he read the pages of your book, he imagined seeing you in a sexy bit of lingerie, stockings tied around your wrists and ankles, your chest rising and falling from hard breathing as you anticipate the fetish act he’ll bestow upon you. In his mind, he may have only read a few pages, but, his imagination has taken him through volume two and three already. It may be too, he believes since that’s what you’re reading about, that’s what you want, and he’s happy to comply.
For women, we seemingly enjoy wrapping our minds around the written word. Anything can be sexy to us if it’s narrated from the pages in a manner that leaves us feeling as though we can become one of the characters….and that is the key. We place ourselves in the book, we become who we’re reading about, it’s an escape from the everyday life of who we are, and it will make for some very passionate and wet dreams through the night, but, when the alarm goes off, we return to our own bed, our own life, and our own way of feeling comfortable.

With kindness and compassion, explain to your husband that you love him, and you lust after him, but in the manner as things are now, that is what you find sexy. Tell him the books are merely fantasy, and reality is much better in your opinion. Just as he watches football every weekend and imagines himself on the field, grunting and sweating and scoring the winning touchdown, it’s a great dream, but he wouldn’t really want to take that brutal punishment each weekend. Once you make him understand he scores highly every Saturday night in the bedroom, he’ll feel like the most valuable player of your life.