Buzzing Business – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDearest Missy Pink,

First of all, I want to say, I’m in my mid 40’s, have been married for nearly 20 years and am a successful business owner. My husband has never felt threatened in any way by my place in the community, or financial independence, in fact, he’s always been my biggest supporter in every endeavor. With my job, I do have to travel, and, when packing my suitcases, I will include what I call my “travel toy.” A smaller sized vibrator, sex toy, and, I’ve never hidden it from my spouse. We are open in all discussions about every topic, and our relations are no different. I’ve explained to him that while in a motel room, I enjoy relaxing with a solo masturbation session before falling asleep, it has no reflection on him, it’s just something I do for myself. He feels as though I’m replacing him in our love life with a battery operated device, and he is threatened by my using it. It remains packed in it’s personal case when I’m at home, it only comes out when I pack for a business trip. How do I make him understand he has nothing to fear?

– Buzzing Business

Dear Friend;

There are a few different factors that come in to play

from the situation youve presented me with.

You’re more than pleased in knowing your husband doesn’t feel threatened by your status in the community, or the fact that your paycheck holds a digit or two more than his own, so, first of all, allow me to offer a pat on the back to him for being secure in his manhood. He’s given much it sounds like, but, I’m sure your relationship has been filled with give and take scenarios, so, you’re both to be commended.

Since he has been your biggest fan throughout the occurrences of life, you feel more than confused over why a small sex toy should make him feel inadequate. And he, on the other hand is probably disappointed with himself for having those feelings, but, at least you have the type of closeness where being open and honest is a natural act, nothing is kept inside to brew and manifest into an even larger issue.

For one moment, kick off your high heels and step into his shoes, look at things from where he’s standing. He has supported you throughout the last 20 plus years of your life, he’s stepped back just a bit, with no qualms, for you to be large and in charge, even though some men may have seen that as a blow to their ego, he’s been happy to do whatever puts a smile on your face.

But, when it comes to the bedroom, where your business suit and stockings come off, the glasses are removed from the bridge of your nose, and your long hair falls softly over your shoulders, instead of wrapped tightly on the top of your head, you are now a bit more submissive, and he brings the strength to the sheets. This is where your husband feels he is now in control, the stronger and more powerful, HE is the one that brings you pleasure and passion during hardcore actions. What this means is, when you pick up the case that carries your smaller sized vibrator and place it into your suitcase, he does feel as though he’s being replaced, because in his mind, that battery operated sex toy will bring you to an orgasm the same way he does, and quite possibly, he may fear, even better.

You have the type of relationship with your husband where there’s wonderful openness, use it to the advantage of your marriage. Explain to him that a vibrator could never replace him, but also listen to him when he tries to explain why he feels it might. It’s called compromise. Maybe sharing a little phone sex across the miles could be an alternative, where you can still use the stimulation of your vibrator, but only while hearing his voice, so he feels secure in knowing it’s still him that you want the most. There are endless possibilities as to how this could play out. Don’t brush off his doubts and fears as something ridiculous, anything that’s real to him, should be the same for you.

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Swimming with HIV+ Sharks

Viral LoadsAdult entertainment depicting sex between men has long flirted with the horribly depressing state of HIV infection by writing “poz” characters into scenes to ratchet up the already steaming tension of an illicit encounter. But now gay porn studio Treasure Island Media has delved to an all-new industry-wide low with the announcement of upcoming bareback feature Viral Loads. (Settle your stomachs, folks, ’cause this one should be approached with caution.)

Poz cum

As noted on the blogs of porno pundit Mike South and Str8 Up Gay Porn, Viral Loads, which stars Derek Parker, Drew Sebastian, Blue Bailey, Dayton O’Connor and Logan Stevens, includes a scene that sees said performers among those ejaculating into a lidded, glass receptacle emblazoned with a curious label: “poz cum.” Now, it must be said that not all men spunking into the jar have declared themselves HIV-positive, but most have and the scenario leaves little untarnished by the infection-focused plot (as it were). This isn’t charity, though, and the jar isn’t going to auction to raise awareness; it’s being poured into the waiting rear passage of Blue Bailey himself, as this charming promotional gif illustrates:

Viral Loads

Openly HIV positive performer and Viral Loads guiding light, Blue Bailey said in an October 2013 interview, “With Treasure Island, they let us [performers] do what we want.” And, according to an unattributed quote published by Str8 Up Gay Porn, it was all Blue’s idea to begin with: “Blue Bailey got in touch with me the next day and said he wanted some kind of man-worship initiation. So I took a few days to set it up. When he enters the room, he knows he’s in for a real rite of passage. The willing, hungry lad gets gang-fucked by a roomful of studs. Most are poz, some are neg. Who the fuck cares? Not Blue, that’s for fuckin’ sure.”

Maybe he doesn’t, but I’m sure Cal/OSHA will. Treasure Island, on the other hand, clearly cares about something: the frenetic shooting style, disorienting angles, and aggressively decomposed DVD and title design makes it very difficult to believe Treasure Island isn’t doing its darndest to solidify intentional infection and transmission of HIV-carrying bodily fluids as not only entertainment, but the gay hardcore equivalent of a slasher flick.

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Asa & Kleio: Porn’s Newest Authors

Asa Akira: Insatiable Hey, Asa Akira! Quit dipping your adorable toes in every damn sub-set of the porn industry. You’re ruining it for everyone else. And, hey, Kleio Valentien! Twitter isn’t enough for you, you gotta start scribbling your thoughts on napkins and tossing them Pop Porn’s way? What’s a lowly copywriter on the fringe of the porn industry supposed to do when his competition is a svelte ‘n’ sexy pair of porn’s most thrilling women? That’s it, I quit. Thanks a bunch Asa and Kleio!

(Everyone needs an income and something to do while they wait for the rapture, so I’ll keep at it, pornstar authors be damned!)

Recently added to the roster of Pop Porn bloggers, Kleio Valentien, who claims to have been illiterate through high school, will be adding both her common sense and snark to Pop Porn’s already hefty crew of loudmouths. Her first missive? A recollection of some truly abysmal one-night-stands.

Asa, for her maiden venture into publishing, has prepared something a bit heftier than Ms. Valentien: a memoir. Entitled “Insatiable: Porn – A Love Story,” Asa’s writing debut sees the multi-AVN-winner cover a range of her life experiences, from the two times she escorted and worked as a dominatrix in New York to her recent marriage to fellow performer Toni Ribas. In between, the author tells us there’ll be plenty of “sexual undertones because I’m such a sexual person and I think about sex so much.” “But,” she insists, “it’s definitely not an erotic novel.” She even roped her friend, acclaimed artist David Choe into painting her portrait and designing the cover of Insatiable, expanding the uniquely creative relationship they revealed with their DVDASA podcast. Insatiable: Porn – A Love Story is due for release by Grove Press next month but is already on sale at Amazon and most major e-tailers willing to carry it.

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Cleaning the Web of Porn in PRC

Revealing its latest plans to eradicate erotica from the reach of Chinese citizens and residents, the National Office Against Pornographic and Illegal Publications, declared on Sunday that its latest endeavor, called ‘Cleaning the Web 2014′ will execute investigations of all things Internet – including websites, mobile apps, TV set-top boxes, usb connectivity sticks, and search engines – in the hopes of shuttering an adult content for good.

Due to run until November 2014, Cleaning the Web 2014 will see state bodies the Ministry of Industry and Information Technology, the Ministry of Public Security, and the State internet Information Office working with the aforementioned anti-porn office to detect and delete any and all pornography found.

Whether or not this latest effort will work, however, is anyone’s guess. Similar efforts have in recent years failed to sufficiently quell the proliferation of online pornography available to those behind the Great Firewall of China, keeping the People’s Republic happily (but discreetly) fapping away and the likes of Alina Li leaving the homeland in favor of the relative sexual freedom of the United States’ adult entertainment industry.

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Needing More – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comMissy Pink,

My boyfriend and I began seeing each other as a couple about 18 months ago, but, we’ve been friends for over 4 years. I’ve always known he considers himself to be bi-sexual. He’s never acted upon it, but has always said it’s just something he feels. Our sex life is okay, not frequent, but it does happen, however he can’t cum unless I’m performing oral sex on him, and I always feel neglected sexually. I truly care about him and I know he feels the same, but needs aren’t being met and I don’t know how fair that is in a relationship.

Needing More

Dear Friend;

First of all, allow me to say, congratulations to your boyfriend for being honest up front, and, a pat on the back to you for venturing into a relationship with him knowing that you may not hold his full, sexual attention.

It sounds to me like the most treasured aspect of what you both share, is your friendship. He has a lot of thoughts and emotions going on and he trusts you, that’s a precious commodity to have in life.

With that being said, there are some decisions to be made. I’m sure neither of you want to lose the close trust and comfort of being the go-to person in this crazy thing called life. But, you need to ask yourself if periodic sex is enough for you, especially when oral sex is what he desires and there’s not much attention paid to you, in the physical sense. He’s been more than upfront about everything from the beginning, so, to expect more, or to think you can change him, that’s not being reasonable on your part.

You cannot force someone to be something they’re not, and, if you consider how hard it is to change something about yourself…now imagine how difficult it is to change someone else.

It sounds as if the two of you have a bond in friendship that is worth treasuring, and, remaining in a relationship where hopes are high but the fulfillment is low, it will begin to alter the closeness between the two of you. Maybe it’s time he takes the steps called for in experiencing romance with another man, only then will he truly understand himself better, hence, being able to understand his relationship with you better as well.

As much as you may not want to hear this, encourage him to be who he is, and if that’s bisexual, or gay, love him still for the wonderful person he is. He’s still the same person you’ve built a cherished friendship with, and closeness is felt in a hundred different ways, not just with intercourse.

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