April, 2014 | Mr. Pink's Blog

Over The Knee Needs – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Ms. Pink,

I’ve read your articles and I hope it’s alright for a gay male to ask a question. I’m in my late 50’s, and have been with the same partner for 19 years, but, our sex life has gotten more than stale. It seems nothing I do anymore is exciting to him, he’s grown tired of me and I must admit, I have fantasies that I’ve never told him about, or anyone else before now. I’m not very well endowed, in fact, my manhood is quite small, and the thought of another man humiliating me about the size of my cock while spanking me is the only thing that gets me hard enough to masturbate. I wouldn’t want anyone to find out about my kinky desires, but I’m not sure how to feel that type of turn on.

Over The Knee Needs

Dear Friend;

First of all, never feel shame over your fantasies, the mind works as it does and there are many things we can control in our lives, but drifting, desirable thoughts isn’t one of them. Yes, we can control whether we act upon them or not, but, they’ll slip in when you least expect it, it’s human nature. You can be making passionate love with the person of your dream, having everything absolutely perfect at that moment, but, at the time of orgasm, your mind suddenly shifts to something totally different, it’s just the way our libido works, it’s confusing and exciting, all wrapped up in one morsel of life.

It sounds as if you might be making a circle of sorts with your BDSM fantasy. First of all, you get sexually turned on at the thought of humiliation and spanking, but you also don’t want your long time partner or anyone else to know, which in turn feeds the fire of the same fantasies. It’s as if you’re being punished for having such thoughts, hence, the spanking aspect. And of course, the being ridiculed over having a small cock is also a form of verbal brutality as well.

Meaning, the same items that give you an erection for masturbation are items that bring a subconscious guilt as well, which make them even more taboo. There’s a submissive side to you, and possibly somewhere back in your younger years, you were humiliated by someone and it took a turn into a sexual nature, and you’ve remembered that type of stimulation, now making you long for it once again. You want someone else to control the dynamic in power, and, the spanking is all a part of the humiliation, making it a verbal and physical desire for you.

The question is, do you really want to experience this lifestyle or is it just something in your mind that says if you have it, then everything will be beautiful in your world again. There are many different ways of being degraded in a submissive situation, such as body worship, foot worship, bondage, even menial tasks such as cleaning someone’s house naked, scrubbing floors, toilets, the list could go on endlessly, but for you, the act of being spanked is the main focal point of what you want.

Being gay has nothing to do with your secret desires, these things can live in the mind of people from all sexual orientation. If you don’t feel confident in discussing what you’d like with your partner, then think of a friend, someone you trust, express your desires, even if it’s a female that may have cuckolding tendencies. If she has a male significant other that would be open to a bisexual relationship, share a threesome, get a taste of what you’re wanting and see if it still holds the same power as it does for you to masturbate by.

I would recommend however, no matter who you experience this fetish with, be open and honest with your partner, at least tell him what’s in your heart, what you need at this stage of you relationship, be faithful in the fact that you’ve shared many years together. He may surprise you and partake in the things that intrigue you, to spice things up. You said nothing you do seems to turn him on anymore, which means he’s wanting something different as well. Turn yourself over to him with honesty and he may then surprise you by turning you over his knee.

Fleshlight Gets a Grip

How many times have you been plugging away at your Fleshlight, on the verge of completion, when your chosen porn-viewing device (smart phone, duh) falls from its carefully placed position against your thigh or pillow or sleeping cat and makes your lose your carefully built-up edge? Fleshlight knows. Fleshlight cares. Fleshlight can’t stop producing borderline-absurd add-ons for its millions-selling masturbation device. The latest creation from the company has now launched and goes by the oh-so-imaginative name of PhoneStrap.

See, you strap it to your leg for consistently good views of your iPhone or Galaxy or whatever! Ok, so the Fleshlight PhoneStrap might seem like a waste of thirty bucks at first, but think of the possibilities, even the nonsexual ones! PhoneStrap is: a stable second screen for enhanced sports viewing; an easy way to video chat your friends when you’ve got a story that requires wild gesticulation; and, as Fleshlight user “Rich” points out, as a leg-mounted recipe display for the kitchen.

If you need to cast a wider supportive net around your device, there’s even an add-on for this add-on (although this one’s free). Expanding the normal grasp of PhoneStrap to 5.5″, the clip extender allows users to insert a mini tablet for slightly better viewing than what a phone would provide. (Pity it can’t extend another 1.5″, though, as that’d give those Record Store Day-attending vinyl-fetishizers a neat little device with which to secure whatever overpriced 7″ reissue they fully intend to welcome into the household with a nice smooth coat of ejaculate.)

With an MSRP of $39.93 (but now on sale at Fleshlight for $29.95), Fleshlight’s PhoneStrap is now ready and able to aid your most furious beat-off sessions.

Crushing Animals lands Florida Models in the Clink

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who didn’t have a soft spot for at least one species of non-human animal. I’ve seen ruthless employers rave about a certain racehorse, an callous former flame go to pieces over a triple-shot of roadkill, and I myself have been known to giggle and flail about when in the presence of a particularly charming and precocious kitten. So, imagine my shock when the following appeared in my news feed a few weeks back: (Miami Herald, April 4, 2014) It seems someone has been hiring sex workers to film themselves mutilating and slaughtering fish, rabbits and chickens in a most gory fashion, stomping and crushing them until they’re left a bloody, broken lifeless mess. The accused performers, Stephanie Hird (aka Megan Jones) and Sara Zamora (aka Gloria Shynez), were arrested weeks apart but investigators with Miami-Dade PD say it appears they were both hired by the same man. Adam Redford, a fishing boat captain, is the alleged producer behind “crush video” website SOS Barn, which according to police reports promotes “torturing and killing a wide variety of animals, including chickens, rabbits and more for the sexual gratification of its viewers.” Redford, listed as Zamora’s co-defendant hosted the film shoot at his house in South Miami-Dade, recently finished a slate of probation for (you guess it) animal cruelty charges. Hird’s alleged offenses (according to her arrest warrant) include shooting two restrained rabbits at point-blank range and allowing them to squirm and struggle before death, repeatedly shooting an “obviously in pain” rat, and setting a mound of wounded rats on fire, and the crushing of live fish with her hands and feet. According to the Miami Herald, Zamora’s performances for SOS Barn went even further. “In one clip of “SOS Barn,” Miami-Dade police say, Zamora gropes a man’s genitals with her left hand while “repeatedly cutting a chicken’s neck using hedge clippers with her right.” In others, she posed “in a sexy outfit” after hacking off the head of another screaming bird, or she beat chickens to death with a wooden stick. Chickens weren’t the only victims. She also karate-chopped the necks of several rabbits as they howled in pain, according to the report, then admitted to killing them.”

Stephanie Hird was released on a $7,500 bond and remains under house arrest. Sara Zamora remains in jail – she was arrested inside, already there for a string of theft, drug, and fraud charges – and faces up to five years for each of the eight counts of animal cruelty she’s being charged with. Hird, who claims her charges fall outside the statue of limitations, is charged with five counts of animal cruelty. Trial dates have yet to be set.

Aussie’s Drink a Perma-Boner!

Australia, like much of the rest of the world, has been knocking back enough highly-caffeinated energy drinks to (possibly) kill its entire horse population (maybe) for almost twenty years. Now, though, there’s one less brightly decorated, warning-bearing can at the 7-11 with controversial energy drink MosKa being banned by Australian authorities.

MosKa, a “natural herbal” beverage designed to enhance sexual experiences, was pulled from shelves and banned throughout the nation after it was found by Australian authorities to contain Levitra. A trade name of Vardenafil, an erectile disfunction treatment, Levitra can cause priapism, also known as “the boner that wouldn’t go away.” Priapism is the inability of an erection to recede back into its usually flaccid state. An interminable erection might seem like fun and games, but priapism is known to cause permanent damage, and there’s the risk of hearing loss, too. Most endangered, though, are those with heart conditions, but that’s a pretty standard energy drink warning that nobody gives a hoot about.

MosKa has said the infringing batches of its product were externally produced and, as such, it can claim no knowledge of the inclusion of Levitra. “We are devastated that the overseas OEM supplier for MosKa energy for adults had included an undeclared ingredient, Vardenafil (Levitra), within the natural ingredients,” reads a statement from MosKa’s website. “Vardenafil (Levitra) is a prescription only substance.” Yeah, to give you raging hard-ons when you just can’t make ’em by yourself anymore.

An otherwise healthy, sexually able guy with a throbbing, aching erection that won’t go away? That doesn’t sound too bad… until you consider that a common treatment for priapism involves a Winter’s shunt:

Yikes! That’s enough to scare any caffeine-addicted energy drink drinker into relative sobriety!