Mr. Pink’s Must Haves: Twistys


It often seems the world is going to hell in a handbasket. Wars rage across countries and continents, people starve and suffer and die, and the price of gas never seems genuinely stable. Truly this world is a rough place in which to live unless, that is, you’ve let the erotic light of Twistys brighten your path.

Ok, so Twistys might not any kind of prophesied savior or redeemer, but it has been producing some of the finest glamour porn and erotica since 2001 and that sure counts for a lot. Consistently out-performing most of its competitors in the American-made glamour and erotic arena, Twistys is equally supportive and encouraging of its models, crowned monthly or yearly Twistys Treats depending on popularity, and its photographers and directors. The best of both professions can be found at Twistys, a huge and dense network of nine adult sites with similarly sophisticated approaches, with experienced MILFs like Julia Ann joining such rising talents as Ariana Marie, Cassidy Banks, and Mila Jade.

Exclusive Twistys sites When Girls Play, Twistys Hard, and Twistys Teasers join the classic line-up of solo model sites (Nicole Graves, Anette Dawn) and hardcore trips (Busty Ones, Euro Foxes, Blue Fantasies) and offer a combined archive holding almost 8,000 videos and more than 18,000 photo galleries, a truly staggering amount of porn. Although membership would usually run you $29.99-a-month, Mr. Pink has scored you a deal, dear reader: Twistys HQ for $19.95.

Twistys isn’t without its faults, sure, and many of them seem political – see my March 2014 blog about the Twistys Treat scandal – but when you’ve got the web’s most devastatingly sexy women shot as if the goddesses of lust and passion we revere them as staring back at you, Twistys makes damn near perfect sense.

Twistys Review

Obscene at Halloween

Ariana Marie vampire Twistys

The lead-up to Halloween is always fun when you’re a porn fan. From Twitter and Instagram peeks at your favorite pornstar’s elaborate (and ultra-skimpy) costume to the webcam performers doing shows as cock-starved little demons, fairy princesses, and purring kitty kats, all to squeeze a few more tokens from your stash. Many porn sites and network get it on the Halloween festivities and just days ago we brought you the lowdown on everything Brazzers is doing to welcome (and arouse) the ghouls and goblins when they swoop into our mortal realm come October 31st, but Brazzers isn’t the only horse in this race. Tag along as I, “Petrifying” Mr. Pink, detail what various other studios, vendors, and networks are unleashing for the Halloween-porn-starved masses!

Twistys hasn’t gone in half-cocked this year, lining up four Halloween-themed scenes that see Ariana Marie pleasuring her own vampiric self, Karla Kush and Chanell Heart let a Ouija board bring them closer together as Jenna Justice and Natalia Starr play kitty-cat at When Girls Play, and Twistys Hard sees Abella Danger’s dark, heavy makeup smeared all over her face and ancient warrior garb as she devours the dick of a valiant centurion.

For its part, Team Skeet brings a pair of costumed cuties to your attention on its sites Exxxtra Small and CFNM Teens, in scenes featuring Penny Nichols and Lyra Louvel respectively. The raven-haired Miss Nichols traipses through a dark forest heading to grandma’s house, unaware of the sharp-fanged snout salivating already over her. Remaining partially clothed can’t keep Lyra Louvel from driving her boyfriend wild, not when she’s dressed as a slutty nurse, and keeping her home from a party for some private fun.

The blockbuster studios haven’t dropped the ball, either, not completely. Digital Playground, home of the big budget high-concept porno, has a treat for its fans in the form of Hot Chicks, Big Fangs 2, a raunchy vampire epic with an equally epic cast: Nikki Benz, Anna Bell Peaks, Chanel Preston, Janice Griffith, Jillian Janson, Dillion Harper, Riley Reid, and Jessica Jaymes. The other end of the spectrum sees jumping in the fray early this month with The Satanic Virgin Sacrifice of Carter Cruise on Hardcore Gangbang. (Must I elaborate? Really?) Carter’s run through the wringer by a coven of warlocks intent on sexually sacrificing this “virgin” to the dark lord.

And to finish off Mr. Pink’s Halloween porn round-up, Blacks on Blondes on the Dogfart Network sees rising star Karmen Karma, all gussied up in her trampiest police uniform waiting for her husband to return with party supplies only to be surprised at the door by two six-foot black men with candy buckets, scary masks, and giant throbbing cocks the sex-starved wife just can’t resist.

From the tepid and softcore to the extremely explicit and physically brutal, Halloween sees all kinds of deviants unleash their darkest fantasies through porn. Relish this opportunity, brothers and sisters, as it only comes once every 365 Earthly revolutions.

Happy Halloween, ghouls and geysers from Mr. Pinks!


Mr. Pink’s Weekly Report – October 27th, 2015

mrpinksMotherfuckers are everywhere! They mess up your day with shitty driving, obnoxiously loud “conversations”, and a foul odor that lingers long after they leave. When it comes to porn, though, the Mofos crew are the baddest motherfuckers in town, with a network of thrilling HD porn that now includes the always intense Let’s Try Anal and brand-new teen-MILF-dude threesome site Busted Babysitters, both reviewed by Mr. Pink’s this week. Also on the agenda was a fresh porn review of the Dirty Flix network: 4K vids, wide variety, and a growing archive all await Dirty Flix members. Next week is the big H so get your costumes ready and keep an eye on Mr. Pink’s Blog for advice on where to find the steamiest Halloween porno!

It Swallows @ Brazzers