Bree Olson: Hollywood Douchebag

Bree OlsonWhen Bree Olson, anal-loving, pregnancy-fantasizing adult superstar, got tangled up in the most recent Charlie Sheen trainwreck, came out the other side only to turn her back on porn and retire, many of us thought we’d never hear her candy-coated, slightly shrill voice again. And then she turned into a pop star.

With her debut music video, ‘Hollywood Douchebag’, Bree Olson is angling for your attention once again, only this time she’s not using her tits and pussy to get it. (Well, she is, really, but she’s uncharacteristically covered them up.) Instead of crooning about the plains of her home state Indiana or guesting on some rapper’s latest tirade, Bree put herself in the spotlight – surprise, surprise – with a self-written ode to the alpha males populating the entertainment hotbed of the Golden State. With plenty of inspirational resources at her disposal, the wannabe Agnetha or Anni-Frid throws hilarious insults at the kinds of guys she no doubt runs into with great regularity in LA.

Although she clearly has her sights set on a breakout musical parody hit akin to Lonely Island’s ‘I’m On a Boat’ and ‘I Just Had Sex’, Olson hasn’t completely discarded her sexually explicit past and in fact cast adult performer Alexis Ford as a principal dancer and even hired noted porn helmet Andre Madness (Bree & Alexis, College Tails, Grindhouse XXX) to direct the video, which sees Bree go up against a typical type-A cud, a real Pseudo-Situation, a top-tier Hollywood Douchebag.

And don’t worry, folks. Unlike almost every other screen appearance Olson has made, this one is, to use the parlance of our times, SFW, even if it does see her show off her cleavage and cavort around with various scantily clad men and women. Oh, Bree! It’s so nice to have you back!

Cherie Lily is Dripping Wet

Cherie LilyAndrew W.K. might be best known as the blood-letting rockstar whose “Party Hard!” philosophy has brought him into the ears and eyes of people young and old through his records, raucous live shows, motivational speaking seminars, and a gig hosting Cartoon Network’s mayhemic construction-based game show, Destroy Build Destroy, but he’s also largely responsible for bringing the remarkable talents of his wife and frequent collaborator Cherie Lily into the spotlight.

Known largely as the inventor of Houserobics (a fusion of fitness routines and her self-produced dance music), Lily recently released a video and single that’s sure to be of interest to Mr. Pink’s readers. The song is, after all, entitled “Dripping Wet” and the video features scintillating shots of Lily and her sweaty costars “werking” through their frustrations as Lily calls out for her listeners to make her sweat and keep her “dripping wet.” With plenty of liquids flying around the screen and suitably drenching every finely-crafted physique in sight, Dripping Wet is loaded with double entendres so blatant nobody will believe you’re watching the video for fitness inspiration. And with such incredibly well-toned female forms on display, you might want to close the door before hitting play on this, one of the most exciting music videos to come out New York in years!

Against Her!

Laura Jane GraceA few notable exceptions aside, rock ‘n’ roll is generally considered a man’s game, and heavy rock is especially male dominated. Babes in Toyland might have been one of the most ferocious punk bands of the last twenty-five years but nobody gives a shit anymore and a lot people still believe that women aren’t supposed to rock unless they’re dressed in skintight pleather and belting it out Xtina-style. Now, though, one woman appears to be challenging that notion in a pretty surprising way.

Tom Gabel of Floridian punk band Against Me! recently announced to his fans and the music world at large that he intended to begin life as a woman, taking the name Laura Jane Grace. After initial concerns from fans that this could mean the end of Against Me!, or at least Gabel’s sharp, growling voice, Gabel confirmed that she would remain married to her wife, graphic artist Heather Gabel, and continue fronting Against Me! While Considering I can think of only one other instance of a biologically male member of a notable hard-rock band undergoing “the transition” – Keith Caputo of Life of Agony became Mina Caputo in October of 2011 – this is a pretty monumental event in the history of transgender people in entertainment.

With an outpouring of support from the music and transgender communities – there remain some ignorant, bigoted “ex-fans” throwing around insults and hate speech – it looks like a pretty positive start to Laura’s new life and, although the transition is never easy and isn’t something most cisgender people cannot really comprehend, with notes like this from the likes of WWE champion CM Punk, Laura’s path will hopefully be relatively easy one.

 

Against Me! continues its current tour supporting The Cult and fans can look forward to someday seeing a liberated Laura jane Grace, “six-foot-two, in heels, fucking screaming into someone’s face.”

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