There’s a girl I’ve known since high school, we’re now in our late 30’s, and we’re still the best of friends, the problem is, I want more than that. She is very comfortable around me, meaning we shop together, she’ll try on clothes in front of me, and thinks nothing about walking around her apartment in just panties and bra when I’m there. The problem is, I have true feelings for her and seeing her undressed makes me want to have sex with her right then and there. How do I tell her how I feel, emotionally and physically for her? I have to hide my erection and my love.
— Hard Luck
Dear Hard Lucky;
This is not an uncommon problem. Your friendship began early in life, and it grew into a very comfortable zone for you both. I’m assuming you shared pizza and secrets and became like brother and sister, more than a couple with romantic interest, which is wonderful, it helped you both get through puberty and life. Since you’ve had quite a few years of laying the ground work in building your strong friendship, it may be a bit difficult laying anything else.
I would not recommend you jumping her bones as she bends over with her head in the refrigerator, wearing nothing but a thong and bra. If she’s been that open with you, she may not have had the same thoughts you are, or, maybe deep down, the fantasy has crossed her mind, and she’s seeing if you become aroused by her state of undress in your presence.
Conversation is a wonderful thing, and after all these years, I would say you’re probably able to open up about anything while she listens, so, begin in a subtle manner. It would work well for you to drop little hints here and there, or instead of going out for pizza and a beer, take her to a nice restaurant, with candlelight and wine. That may be just enough for her to see you in a different light. You don’t want to ruin the friendship, but, you can’t continue going through the day with a set of blue balls either. Go slow, but stay steady, and when the moment is right, you’ll know it. Explain to her delicately that you have feelings that extend beyond friendship, let her know you care for her emotionally, and desire her sexually. The image in your mind as she’s been a bit of an exhibitionist around you may have turned you into a voyeur, but, one with a heart.
The more she takes her clothes off, the more you need to open up and express what’s driving you crazy inside. If handled correctly, there may be fireworks going off above your bed as she graces the sheets, minus the lingerie, and you’ll have everything you want in your arms.