Can’t Keep a Danish Nympho Down

Plenty of those working in the adult industry have found themselves up against YouTube’s posted Community Guidelines for posting content deemed inappropriate and unwelcome, too sexually provocative for a general audience. Self-shot pornstar vlogs and adult movie trailers alike have been taken offline after being reported by more conservative users, but movies with worldwide cinema distribution deals have largely been left to flourish in the most expansive marketing tool the industry has ever seen. Until now.

Lars Von Trier

For those unaware, that’s Danish cinema provocateur Lars Von Trier, whose next film’s trailer was recently unleashed upon a global cinema culture wet with anticipation. Then, rather unceremoniously, it was pulled from YouTube, the most visible (and vital) viral video site (and promotional tool) in history. Thankfully, YouTube isn’t the only game in town, leaving Vimeo, Onion’s A.V. Club, and numerous other outlets to run the highly explicit, defiantly NSFW trailer uncensored. And, surpassing most expectations (at least the more puerile ones) and following on from a series of orgasmically evocative character posters, the trailer’s loaded with explicit imagery that should persuade you to ignore the more intolerable heart-wrenching films of Von Trier’s past and at least give Nymphomaniac, which is reported to run 5½ hours in its full cut, a devoted fast-forwarding.

For the trainspotters out there that still need to be convinced to check out the trailer, here’s a brief rundown of the carnally adventurous treasures it contains:

– Graphic (if brief) shot of labia in repose.
– Charlotte Gainsbourg crawling naked, sucking dick, and fucking on a hospital bed.
– … and beaten black and blue.
– A proposed virginity-shedding.
– Uma Thurman referring to a “Whoring bed,” before screaming her lungs out.
– A bare-assed caning, complete with instructions and corrections.
– Stacy Martin wiping what appears to be ejaculate from her lip and breathing “Wow.”
– Shia LaBeouf licking a nipple.
– Some crying.
– A few pretentious lines of voiceover.
– and Rammstein.

Nymphomaniac, in its truncated form, is set a Dec. 25 US release. Learn more at the official website and, for now at least, just watch the damn trailer!

Nymphomaniac Official Trailer from Zentropa on Vimeo.

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