Toe Temptation

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comDear Missy Pink;

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 2 years, so we’ve gotten through the stage of taking the dirty pictures and telling each other what really excites us without embarrassment. My problem is, I LOVE foot fetish action, and he doesn’t. Having my toes sucked, and even having him rub against my feet is such a turn on, but, he thinks feet shouldn’t be a part of the sexual act, what can I do to change his mind, he doesn’t understand just how much I like this.

Toe Temptation

Dear Temptation:

Well, I have to start out by saying, the fact you and your partner are open enough to talk about things is definitely a “foot” in the door to a healthy relationship. It seems that everything else is pleasing, it’s just this one issue standing in your way of feeling completely satisfied. Foot fetish is not for everyone, in fact, I’ve known quite a few people that are completely turned off by feet, it’s as if they have this stigma in their mind of them being dirty and disgusting, because we walk on them.

Take showers together, needless to say, a lot of erotic enjoyment can stem from that act, but he can also see how well you clean your feet. Don’t skimp on the soap, really lather them up and make sure they sparkle. Get a pedicure, buff them, slather on the lotion, whatever it takes to make them appealing. Start out slow, maybe by using your toes to tickle his testicles now and then, a little fancy footwork while stretched across those cotton sheets may just excite him.

Make them more of your sexual appearance, wear open-toed sandals, an ankle bracelet, make his eyes draw to your dogs, but don’t let them bark too loudly until you think he’s ready. When he’s in the mood, make sure you assume the missionary position, lift those legs high and happily into the air, as he grabs your ankles, you wiggle those little piggy’s until he squeals with delight. As the passion builds, move them closer to his face, let him see they’re nothing to be afraid of, but instead, he may just wrap a tongue around the one that went to market, and in doing so, you’ll be the one crying, “Wee-wee-wee” all the way home to an orgasm!


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*For entertainment purposes only ;)

Your Mother Wouldn’t Like It

MrPinksPartly because she was raised in a strict Catholic household by prolifically procreating, but otherwise asexual parents, and partly because I don’t want my mother thinking her son sits at home all day with nothing but a tub of lotion and a crusty old handkerchief for company, I haven’t yet managed to tell my mother exactly what I do for a living. “I write reviews of hardcore pornographic websites,” doesn’t exactly seem like the kind of declaration you can make over a dinner of roast chicken and vegetables on a Sunday evening. Reluctant as I am to continue the charade – unlike some, I’d rather not lie to my mother on a regular basis – I just can’t seem to be able to find the right way to inform her of my current occupation.

During a recent phone call, Mom and I spoke about the weather, what music I’ve been listening to, my movie recommendations, my siblings, my father, the declining mental health of my grandmother, which holiday songs and jingles we found the most obnoxious… everything but work. As far as she knows I work on a computer for something involving the Internet, so when she subtly inquired as to how I earn my income by asking “And how’s work going?” my overly simplistic response of “Fine. You know, busy, busy, busy!” seemed adequate. I wanted to answer “Well, Mom, it’s really quite an interesting time of the year for the porn industry. The AVN Awards are about to take place and may determine the trends, rising stars, and powerhouse studios of 2012, changing the kind of material I’ll be writing about in both reviews and blogs. Asa Akira just did a double-anal scene and I wouldn’t be surprised if that kind of ultra-sensitive physical activity is on the cards for a large number of younger pornstars who now think they have to follow suit to even be considered for decent roles. If you’ll recall, 2008 to 2011 was largely focused on who’d be taking it in the ass, from whom, when and for which studio. I’m inclined to believe 2012 will be the start of a similar line of thought but, you know, twice as intense. Ha.”

Nope, instead I just told her it was fine. She might be aware of what happens in contemporary hardcore pornographic movies; she might not. She might want to know what I really do for work; she might not. She might understand that her beliefs about porn (and religion and economics and politics) don’t exactly mirror mine; but then again she might not.

Ah, mothers. Can’t live with ’em, can’t tell ’em about your work on the periphery of the porn industry.

Fleshlight Fucks the iPad

Fleshlight iPadThis year, notorious Kevin Smith-endorsed product, Fleshlight, took home two AVN Awards, Best Sex Toy Company – Large, and Best Sex Toy for Men, but the biggest news to come out of Fleshlight HQ of late concerns a brand new attachment that will finally enable Fleshlight users to pound the mouths, pussies, and asses of porn’s hottest women in a far more intimate way than ever before.

Catching the eye of Gizmodo’s Kyle Wagner, a prototype by TV Miller designed to allow the customer to “interactively reach self-gratification, with various prerecorded multimedia designed specifically for the tablet-penis interface,” caused a stir and led to an exploratory article by Wagner that reached Fleshlight HQ down in Austin, Texas. Fleshlight COO Brian Shubin responded by confirming that the product is in development but refused to provide any additional details at this time. “It’s another exciting product we have in development at the moment. We are always looking to improve our user experience and this will be a way to take it to another level.”

Although a release date hasn’t yet been confirmed of even hinted at, Shubin did tell eager technobaters to keep checking back with Fleshlight for updates. Fuckable iPads… who’d a thunk it?! In fact, with a bit of imagination and the right tools, as this photo from Gizmodo commenter Randy Sexer shows, you could already be in vicarious fucking heaven… or something.

Rock Fleshlight iPad