Circumcised? Spun a dreidel? Enjoyed the works of Woody and Groucho and Larry David but had to contend with gentile friends who just didn’t get the anxiety-ridden humor? You, my friend, might be a jew and, as a reader of this blog and (presumed) supporter of the sex industry, might wanna check out Jewrotica’s list of the recently ended year’s hottest Jewish religious leaders. No. I’m not kidding! Here it is, folks, the only (and therefore utterly definitive) list of the Sexiest Rabbi’s of 2013.
The main list of 10 Torah teachers included both men and women and, unfortunately for most of our readers, the pollsters saw six men to only four women. But when those three women include a “whip-smart” guitar-playing radical Chicagoan (Rabbi Lizzi Heydemann), a “queer yeshiva” founder who teaches “the sexiest bits of Talmud as well as the driest” (Rabbi Benay Lappe), a PhD-equipped author of “Hebrew Priestess” books (Rabbi Jill Jammer, PhD), and an American living and working (and getting arrested) for adoptive, sexual and religious rights advocacy in Jerusalem (Rabbi Susan Silverman, big sister of comedian Sarah), you know you’re talking about some incredible women. They’re not exactly as open and explicit as porn’s most famous Jewess, Joanna Angel, but Ms. Angel isn’t likely to refer you to Maimondes, “Yad ha-Ḥazaḳah, Ishut,” xxiv. 6 when you’re experiencing some marital anxiety, either.