Bang Bros and Culioneros Mix It Up

Alyssa Branch - Bang BrosBang Bros and Culioneros have peacefully existed side-by-side since the latter’s launch in late 2011, but recent updates to both sites have been somewhat confounding. You see, Culioneros was basically set up to be the Latin Bang Bros with many sites being almost identical to ones operated by the infamous Bang Bus-driving goofball pornographers, only with the bangingest babes from Central and South America. Earlier this month, however, Culioneros saw a rather obvious spike in its occasional inclusion of North American and European talent. From the forty recently added scenes shown on the main Culioneros hub, eight scenes star Americans (Alyssa Branch, Lizz Tayler, Remy LaCroix, Kendall Karson, Rachel Roxxx, Dillion Harper, Aubrey Addams, and Ava Addams), six star Czech beauties, five feature Hungarian talent, four scenes star big-titted Japanese-British Tiger Benson, and three feature everyone’s favorite sultry French brunette, Anissa Kate. That doesn’t leave much room for those bodacious Colombian asses we’ve come to love from Culioneros, does it?

Meanwhile, apparently in reciprocation for the increasingly Americanized and anglicized nature of recent Culioneros’ updates, Bang Bros has similarly shifted its casting directives to include more women from Latin American countries, Colombia specifically. Big Tits, Round Asses and Ass Parade have both featured Colombian women in recent weeks – Natalie and Juliana in two scenes each, Rianna in one – and with the sharing of models between the two networks becoming increasingly common, there’s no reason to suspect this intercontinental babe-swapping won’t continue for a while. That’s great news if you’ve varied taste but only enough dough for one network subscription, but not so great if you’re a viewer with very, very specific requirements.

Three Years of Cumming Loudly

One of those porn networks easily passed over in favor of the Brazzers and Bang Bros of the industry, Cum Louder recently celebrated its third birthday with a very special scene that, as this shot from its early moments clearly shows, couldn’t be anything but incredible.

Cum Louder

From left to right, that’s Portugal’s NoeMilk, France’s Anissa Kate, Romanian Jasmine Black, and from Bulgaria, Claudia Shotz. And yes, they all appear in the scene, taking on three very lucky gentlemen in an orgy scene that trumps the four-minute clip compilation ‘Best of 2012′ that celebrated Cum Louder’s second year. NoeMilk and Anissa Kate, both powerful and compelling performers in individual scenes, seem especially thrilled to be given the chance to get properly acquainted, grabbing each other by the shoulders and making out passionately while Jasmine and Claudia seem entranced by the poundings they’re receiving.

Cum Louder might not have the 1080i HD videos (720p) and thousands of scenes it promises to prospective members, but for all its faults, any network that can gather talent like this to celebrate its third year of pornographic accomplishment achieved by following is well worth paying attention to.

Crowning Miss BangBros

Miss Bang BrosIf the parents of pageant contestants are to be believe, every girl just really wants to be a princess, like, soooo much! The closest the young women of America will get, however, is being crowned Miss University of Phoenix, Miss West Texas, or Miss Westfield Tukwila, Washington. As for the young women of porn, well, they’re aiming for a decidedly more risqué crown: Miss BangBros.

After being nominated as contenders for Best Ass in the Biz, Best Cock Sucker, Hottest MILF, Bang Anal Princess, Best Rack, and Best New Cummer, a group of porn’s most dazzling performers are now fishing for your votes. The contenders, gentlemen, are as follows:

Best Ass in the Biz:

Rachel Starr

Christy Mack

Alexis Texas

Sara Jay

Franceskca Jaimes

Best Cock Sucker:

Lisa Ann

Diamond Kitty

Yurizan Beltran

Abella Anderson

Kelly Divine

Hottest MILF:

Rachel Starr

Lisa Ann

Kendra Lust

Sara Jay

Phoenix Marie

Bang Anal Princess:

Jynx Maze

Asa Akira

Phoenix Marie

Courtney Cummz

Jada Stevens

Best Rack:

Gianna Michaels

Sophie Dee

Jayden Jaymes

Ava Addams

Abella Anderson

Best New Cummer:

Siri

Christy Mack

Kendra Lust

Remmy LaCroix

Jessie Rogers

Mr. Pink’s picks? Well, first of all I’m flattered that you’d ask. Now, even though a few categories are missing the women I’d have instantly awarded the top prize – no Charley Chase for Best Cock Sucker? no Kagney Linn Karter for Best Rack? and how the hell are Skin Diamond and Holly Michaels not nominated for Best New Cummer? – the choices of this reviewer were fairly quick to arrive. My votes have gone to the assiest woman in porn, Alexis Texas; that fearless cock gobbler, Kelly Divine; the undisputed queen of MILF porn, Lisa Ann (although I personally would prefer the other Ann, Julia); the only pornstar to grin from ear-to-ear with a huge dick ramming through her rear passage in every anal scene she’s shot, Jynx Maze; one of the greatest, bustiest babes porn has ever seen, Gianna Michaels; and the only New Cummer contender to go from aces (almost every scene she’s shot) to “nay, sirs” (that horrible boobjob) while still being considered a noob, Jessie Rogers.

It’ll be interesting to see who walks away with the crowns, but as there’s no voting deadline given, we’ll just to wait, eyes firmly fixed on the Bang Bros blog to find out. In the meantime, let us know your picks! Leave a courteous comment or start a pro-Asa, anti-Jynx flame war! Just don’t sit idly by and let others decide who’ll take the crowns, penis statues, and more importantly the work!

PMarizzle No Anal! Fo’ Shizzle?

Phoenix Marie analWord over at Bang Bros is that Phoenix Marie has just seen her very last anal scene hit the WiFi waves, putting an end to a career that has brought boners and smiles to thousands upon thousands of guys, and placed Ms. Marie herself among the ranks of porn’s most astounding performers. So, is she really giving up her gaping anus in favor of vag-only sex, or is that the end of Phoenix Marie as we know it?

Thankfully, it isn’t the latter; Marie isn’t giving up porn for good, just adjusting her career to suit the demands of her lifestyle. Being plugged in the butt by some of the biggest dicks in porn certainly has its drawbacks (or so I’d imagine) and Marie surely doesn’t want to run the risk of a permanently prolapsed rectum or repeated anal tearing, which is completely understandable and could be one of the reasons behind the artificially buxom Arizonan’s decision to focus not on gapes, ATMs, and DPs but on directing, where she hopes to bring all her “sick and twisted pleasures” to the screen.

Considering Marie once told Luke Ford that her biggest fantasy was “With four guys that want to hurt me in a good way, having them shove and do DP. That would be fun,” it’s unlikely she’s hanging up her anal speculum for good, which is good news for us all.

Calling Preston Parker

Preston ParkerA couple of months ago there was some shifting in the Bang Bros lineup, both behind the scenes and in front of the camera lens. Preston Parker, the voice and penis who pasted the faces of so many greenhorn pornstars at Facial Fest, the man in the van with the camera in hand for the infamous Bang Bus, has apparently departed Bro-town for the greener pastures of Reality Kings.

The first evidence to point to Preston’s departure, at least the first evidence I saw, was during Asa Akira’s inaugural Bang Bus expedition back in mid-April when the guy wielding the camera first spoke. “Those aren’t the usual dulcet tones we hear from Preston,” I thought. I was soon proven right when one of Asa’s soon-to-be-conquests boarded the bus and remarked that although both Asa Akira and the bus itself were familiar to him, the director was not. Coming very close to looking a gift horse right in the kisser, this cunning linguist said that he was expecting “the other guy,” prompting Asa and the new director to share a chuckle and inform the snatch-happy beach bum that there’s a new guy in town. His name? Well, actually, that particular nugget of information is somewhat still eluding me. I did, however, find Preston Parker alive and well on another critically acclaimed reality-based hardcore network.

Reality Kings might not have an exact replica of either Facial Fest or Bang Bus for Preston to waltz right into, the transition from BB to RK can’t have been too difficult. Preston has already appeared in a dozen episodes for Reality Kings, mostly for Street Blowjobs, which finds him back behind the camera shooting porno newbies sucking him off and taking his hefty load across their faces, but also for Moms Bang Teens, Big Naturals, First Time Auditions, Round and Brown, MILF Hunter, and In the VIP, the latter of which sees him get all liquored up with a gang of wildly unreserved sexual dynamos for an orgy he won’t soon forget.

So, while the reasons behind Preston’s relocating from Bang Bros to Reality Kings remain a mystery, fans of the wisecracking’ seed-spewing former gay-for-pay performer are still able to get their fill of Preston’s powerful facials in many Reality Kings updates to come.

Preston Parker Reality Kings