Gambino, Bang Bros, You Adore Abella

Porn has always been about the stark marriage of two different images or entities: the man and the woman, the penile and the vaginal, the black and the white, celebrities and graphic depictions of their most private moments, the discharged liquid and the receiving solid. (The overly obvious “big dick” and “tight hole” also applies.) Now, one unlikely combination of talents sexual and muso-comedic has resulted in a hip-hop video with a decidedly unusual erotic twist.

In the following video you’ll hear Childish Gambino (a.k.a.: Donald Glover) declare his undying fondness for a particular lady and see the marvelously constructed Abella sexily move around the window of an online webcam chat as Glover’s words appear in the chat field. Met with plenty of xs, os, and emoticons, Glover’s spiel doesn’t have an especially deep effect on Abella, but it does incite her to dance seductively and that’s enough for this guy (meaning me) and that guy (meaning Childish Gambino) both. Care to lay your eyes on Abella’s sultry swaying?

Childish Gambino’s unfortunately lifeless delivery belies his intended emotional core, leaving ‘3005’ an infantile and directionless jab at a witty hip-hop devotional. It’s left then to Ms. Anderson to entertain and that she does, gyrating her red bikini and white t-shirt-clad frame in a cyber-striptease for the author. Anyone who’s seen her ace work for some Bang Bros can surely agree that Abella’s almost as scorching in tease as she is in full carnal swing, making her work here with Childish Gambino a must-see even if the track falls flat.

Abella Anderson’s role in ‘3005’ also ties nicely into a promotion currently being run by her not infrequent employer, Bang Bros. Offering their members the chance to win $1000 of free webcam credits (to be used on Bang Bros Chat), the BB crew ask only for your participation in their weekly raffle, the winners of which can indulge in live webcam shows with pornstars, amateurs, and plenty of Eastern European chicks – on the house!

If that doesn’t constitute proof of both Bang Bros and Ms. Anderson’s relentless devotion to keeping you aroused and entertained as only the best online porn can, what can?

(*Although, it must be noted that upon clicking the posted “Interested in our no purchase necessary option,” all I arrived at was a link-less sentence (“Also learn about our no purchase necessary option here.”) insisting that, although notably absent, a ‘no purchase necessary’ option did indeed exist. For this slightly evasive and deceitful promotional stunt , fellows, I’m afraid you’ll have to part with actual (virtual) currency to the tune of $1.35!)

Brand New at Bang Bros

Bang Bros and Culioneros might be teasing members and fans with new sites and working us all into a tizzy of anticipation, but the Bros have already pulled their prank by adding four new sites the the Bang Bros network with nary a welcoming bouquet, press release, or musical fanfare to draw attention. Here’s a rundown of the latest additions to the lil’ network that could, did, and still does:

Bang Bros Angels focuses on gorgeous young models masturbating before the camera. Captured in HD like all other Bang Bros sites, the two scenes already online offer high levels of visual detail, dynamic sound, and effervescent performances from Alaina Fox and Layla Rose as they use fingers and toys to reach new heights of self-supplied pleasure.

When one anonymous dick isn’t enough… Glory Hole Loads! Finally a new glory hole site makes it to Bang Bros and brings with it three women each sucking a parade of cocks to messy completion. The girls, Layla Sin, Maia Davis, and Abella Johnson seem quite at home in the cramped adult video stall as they’re greeted by dicks of all shapes and sizes.

You’d think Bang Bros already had a sufficient supply of slutty white girls, but Slutty White Girl proves otherwise. Although only hosting one scene at writing, this site appears to focus on hot palefaces doing what they do best: fucking one, two, three guys at a time. (A timid Natalie Lust does a capable job in the first scene.)

With teen sites littering the ‘net like the homeless litter the city of San Francisco, you’d think Bang Bros would go for something a bit more original than BangBros 18. Also only hosting one scene at writing, BangBros 18 sees Parker Page lead the new site off with a vigorous pussy-pounding scene shot in a high-rise apartment complex.

Well, congratulations, Bang Bros, on the newest additions to your growing family. Let’s hope they grow up to be healthy, horny, and thoroughly enjoyable members of your already incredible network.

Something’s Brewing at Bang Bros

It doesn’t take a genius to realize something’s going on at Bang Bros. No, I’m not talking about the frequency with which Remy LaCroix seems to be shooting an anal scene for one of the network’s many, many sites. I’m talking about this…


Although they haven’t yet made an appearance on the Bang Bros update schedule, nor that of the Bros’ Spanish-language sister network Culioneros, the sites represented by these three images are surely to be launched in the near future. But what, pray tell, do these three new sites focus on? Something tells me Pornditos will be an irreverent (racially and otherwise) comedy porn venture that’ll sit next to Tetangas Espanolas, Chicas de Porno, and Sexo en Publico on the Culioneros network roster. Women Gone Bad is likely a femme domme site or another take on the hard-partying women that attend (and take over) all-nude, all-male dance revues. STFU College, however, could deal with anything from college girls giving ontense blowjobs to, well, the imagination runs wild, quite frankly.

However, click on these thumbnail links from the main Bang Bros/Culioneros navigation hub and you’re directed to Culioernos, Dancing Bear, and College Rules. This network and the two individual sites are all already in operation, but seem to have slipped from their past glories due to fewer updates and less activity. Could this image teaser indicate a bold new approach for three Bang Bros has-beens or just another lazy attempt at snagging more money off hungry viewers? Only time and Mr. Pink’s will tell for sure.