Brazzers Endless Black Friday


Appealing though they may be upon first impressions, some porn studios are less devoted sweethearts and more like psychotic ex-girlfriends, out to harass you at every turn until you relent and once again throw your life away to devote every waking second to worshipping her every atom. Some guys simply spy their ideal woman and pursue her relentlessly while others let her make the first, second, third moves. In this analogy, dear reader, you are the hapless fella on the receiving end of an obsessive pursuit from Brazzers, your stand-in lover and one of the web’s most popular adult entertainment venues. The legendary ZZ was already trying to lure you in for a membership to its large and HD-loaded network, but now, like the stereotypical shopper going bananas over department store discounts, Brazzers celebrates Black Friday by offering an unbeatable deal any ZZ-admirer will struggle to resist.

I know, I know. Black Friday was last week and this week, if it gets identified as retail sale-related, is Cyber Week, but nobody told Brazzers, who are still promoting an extended Black Friday deal that gets you one full year inside the amazing Brazzers carnival at the super-heavily discounted rate of just $7.50-a-month, payable in one $89.99 installment. For more specific details on what Brazzers delivers to those who purchase a yearly pass, check out Mr. Pink’s full review of the Brazzers network and our Beating on a Budget blog post that details just how good Brazzers discount deals usually are. Normally set well over one hundred dollars, this annual pass to the infamous Brazzers empire seems the most sensible and financially responsible Black Friday porno bargain still (somehow, still) going.

Brazzers’ Halloween Bonanza


Joanna Angel and her Burning Angel crew may have concocted the most extravagant and outrageous Halloween porno epic this year but another legendary producer of weird and wonderful porno parodies, lampoons, homages, and tributes, Brazzers, instead opted for smaller individual episodes, each tailored to a particular theme, kinky costume, or outlandish Halloween-related setup. Roping in Ariana Marie, Mercedes Carrera, Rachel RoXXX, and Zoey Monroe to commit heinous acts of hardcore carnality, Brazzers unleashed a tight quartet of Halloween porno scenes.

October 29th saw the arrival of Zoey Monroe playing a wantonly slutty kitten who ditches her boyfriend at a party to fuck the Scream-mask-sporting host, Michael Vegas. Not to be outdone by Brazzers Exztra’s initial Halloween offering, Big Tits at Work unveiled the following day Rachel RoXXX in The Office Mummy. Danny D. arrives at work without a Halloween costume and quickly wraps himself in toilet paper to avoid embarrassment. What he can’t avoid is being fired by Ms. RoXXX, though it seems she has costume problems all her own.

Zoey Monroe / Trick and Treat

Rachel Roxxx / Office Mummy

Twenty-something fan-favorite Ariana Marie donned a black witches outfit and settled in for a night of handing out candy to kiddies alone as her husband sleeps in another room. When Johnny Castle stops by to make a last-gasp attempt at candy hoarding, his age proves a problem for Ariana, who wants to give out a lot more than just candy corn. Brazzers Extra delivered the final ZZ Halloween horn-fest, this time gussying up Mercedes Carrera in the best porno rendition of a Vampirella costume yet. A character known largely for her outfit, not her personality or history, the role of Vampirella allows Carrera to bare her fangs both literally and figuratively, as she dives on civilian Michael Vegas and threatens to betray her vow of not harming humans. Will she drain her victim’s arteries or just his balls?

Ariana Marie / Dick or Treat

Mercedes Carrera / Vampirella

From comic book vampiresses to oddly unidentifiable military-styled costumes with super-heavy cleavage, from trick-or-treating turned one-night-stands to office costume parties cum fluid-sharing sessions, Brazzers knows how to deliver the good on Halloween and 2016 is yet another notch in Brazzers’ All Hallows Hardcore belt.

Brazzers review

Jordi’s American Journey

Jordi El Niño Polla

All this election-season talk of illegal immigrants stealing the jobs, money, and pussy the men of the USA believe to be rightly theirs got me thinking… You see plenty of immigrants in porn, women and men both, and it could be argued that such a profession is both a negative and a positive result of an illegal presence. (Though I’m sure Jordi’s papers are in order.) Adopting an disapproving attitude, you might see someone like recent Brazzers discovery Jordi El Niño Polla, a Spaniard mentored by Nacho Vidal and brought to the US by the ZZ to plow the fields of their female stars, as a threat to American masculinity. But really that’s only half of it.

Jordi, whose diminutive frame and youthful looks belie a massive member, more favorably viewed could be a pinch hitter coming in to relieve our own coliective sexual exhaustion. Or, unless it’s too threatening, maybe he’s a gift for our beloved female citizenry, their desires also leaning younger and more dominant every day. Whatever your stance, Jordi’s seemingly here to stay, already shooting for Brazzers a selection of thirty exclusive hardcore encounters.

At times playing a teen or twenty-something boyfriend to the likes of JoJo Kiss or Alex Grey, Jordi is just as often cast alongside a mature woman whose MILFy hold over the young star is immediately apparent. After being bathed by Leigh Darby and Alexis Fawx on two separate occasions, and after pounding Diamond Jackson and Nikki Benz on the tennis court, Ryan Conner in a shower stall, tag-teaming Rebecca Moore with one of Brazzers’ other resident foreigners, Keiran Lee, and crashing his bicycle after spying neighborhood cougar Veronica Avluv shooting him flirtatious glances only for them to turn into spit-moistened strokes, Jordi’s next assignment sees him jumping in the shower with girlfriend Megan Rain only to be interrupted then joined by her stepmom Ava Addams.

Clearly Jordi’s arrival on our shores is all part of Brazzers’ bold attempt at claiming new female viewers and grabbing guys before they hit twenty-five, making them fans for life. Jordi, a stunned expression on his face as his hefty dick disappear into another American throat, is a surrogate for all of us who, no matter what we tell ourselves mid-viewing or mid-fap, would probably pass out if ever faced with real pornstar pussy. He’s just a surrogate that’s doing a better job than many millions of local boys. Is this where globalization is leading us, into one another’s countries to fuck foreign women for our pleasure and theirs? If so, that’s an economic model I’m sure we can all get behind.

Brazzers review