Boob Aid

So, untold buckets of ice-water have been dumped on the heads of celebrities and nobodies alike but there’s millions of people out there who still don’t know what the fuck an ALS even is! Clearly, that Lou Gehrig guy, sick though he may be, is going about raising awareness the absolute wrong way. Clearly he should be groping Japanese women’s breasts on television.

boob aid

Unofficially dubbed ‘Boob Aid’ by its fans and sticking by its motto “Making a social contribution while enjoying the erotic,” a charity event organized by Stop!AIDS and broadcast on Sky Perfect TV ran for 24 straight hours and featured little more than a dozen Japanese pornstars lining up and inviting fans to grope and fondle their breasts. The only catch, only those donating money to the campaign could cop a feel. Boob Aid aimed to raise funds and awareness for Japan’s AIDS sufferers and to promote safe sex practices aimed at prevention further transmission of the virus, which currently affects approximately 8,100 Japanese.

Adult star Rina Serina spoke to Tokyo Sports newspaper prior to the event, saying “I’m really looking forward to lots of people fondling my boobs. I never thought my boobs could contribute to society.” Iku Sakuragi, another performer baring her breasts for AIDS sufferers, added “It’s for charity. Squeeze them, donate money. Let’s be happy!” Can’t argue with that, can ya? In any case, the 2,000 attendees couldn’t argue with such a worthy cause and novel promotion, flocking to the event and laying their hands on twelve pairs of pornstar breasts.

See footage from last year’s event below and, please, before you try your hand at starting a charity fund-raising event or (God forbid) meme, do try to incorporate nudity to an excessive degree.

Cannabis Lube Gets Your Pussy High

marijuana-leaf-PINKEver since marijuana became a legally acceptable treatment for numerous medical conditions, pot-related entrepreneurs have launched dozens of absurd products. Whiz Khalifa has a line of 100% hemp rolling papers, there’s a Snoop Dogg endorsed vaporizer pen, Tumblr exhibitionists are buying the hell out of Black Milk’s marijuana leaf leggings, and your local dispensary, compassionate care club or provisioning center likely has for sale soaps, salves, balms and trail mix containing potent doses of THC. But now there’s a cannabis product to tantalize an substantially different set of physical stimulus receptors.

Foria, a personal lubricant infused with cannabis, now aims to bring the floaty, giggly, snack-munching sensations you feel after a blunt, doobie, dutchie, dab, bong rip, or vape sesh to the vulvae, labium, clitorii, and vaginal canal of the female stoner. Describing its product as “a therapeutic sensual enhancement oil designed for female pleasure,” the folks at Foria stress that results vary from person to person and you’ll simply have to try the “blend of nourishing liquid coconut oil and lab-tested cannabis oil from California-grown marijuana” to find out if it works for you (or your lady).

Fellas, Foria has a use for you too: oral ingestion. Much like tinctures and hash oil, Foria, a liquid intended not as a direct sexual lubricant but as a pre-lube for use about 30 minutes prior to arousal and activity, can be taken orally to pleasurable effect. The main purpose, however, of this expensive little bottle – Foria runs $80 for a 30ml bottle – is to directly enhance the natural sensations of arousal a woman feels in her nether regions and, in many cases, throughout her entire body. A testimonial from alleged Foria users shows little reservation in singing the product’s praises. Whether you or your lady will be among the acolytes depends, according to Foria’s makers, entirely on your individual reaction to such pre-titilation stimulation. So, it’s like anything else…

Sexercising with K-Y Gel

Friend, do you find yourself run down at the end of a day, heavy with weariness when you should be sliding into bed next to your dearest for a round of “rumpy pumpy”? Is vitality absent from your day long before the arrival of middle-age or late-life? Is your partner as seemingly disinterested in sexual activity as you or are you both content to let the less pressing issues slide so you can meet that work deadline, maintain that respectable bank balance, or finish planning that deck/kitchen/basement renovations that’s been on your minds of late. Perhaps it’s your addiction to digital devices that has you feeling sluggish when bedtime rolls around. Or, as posited by K-Y, makers of personal lubricants galore, perhaps you haven’t been getting enough sexercise.

As the above television and online commercial for K-Y Gel’s Argentinian market tells it, a gym in Buenos Aires collaborated with a K-Y-approved team of leading sexologists, porn performers, and personal trainers, developing an exercise program focused on developing sexual energy, stamina, prowess, and, most importantly, interest. Allegedly running for two months and guiding some 5,000 participants, the gym’s K-Y Sexercise program has an air of inauthenticity about it – this is advertising, after all – add to which my first-hand witnessing of the heightened displays of physio-sexual hyper-confidence and the generally casual attitude with which Portenos (inhabitants of Buenos Aires) approach all things except football, fashion and coffee, makes this whole to-do hard to believe.

Whatever the reality of the situation, encouraging the sexually frustrated or disinterested to use exercise to build both their libidos and their sexual skills can only be a good thing. Now, if only K-Y would co-produce an “instructional” video release that goes through all the ins-and-outs, ups-and-downs of such a workout (and the resulting super-sex) would be just grand.