Last week, Mr. Pink’s blog covered a technological innovation that enables men to receive pleasure directly from a real live woman via an Internet connection and a pair of devices: RealTouch and RealTouch JoyStick. To recap, RealTouch Interactive puts a man with his RealTouch sleeve and a woman with her RealTouch JoyStick many miles apart and through the miracle of modern technology allows her to manipulate the joystick how she would manipulate the man’s erection, should they be in the same place. Great news, right? Well, not necessarily for the ladies. They put in all the work and are left holding a now-useless rod of plastic and wires while their partner in the webcam show cleans up and logs off. Typical. Intent on finding something to function much like RealTouch Interactive, but with the immediate benefit affording the woman the heights of ecstasy, I went hunting.
Every adult novelty store, kink boutique, and forum for perversion was a dead-end. Nothing could really come close to RealTouch Interactive. Regardless of dildo size, wattage or voltage, or USB-connectivity, distance still stood in the way of a woman’s pleasure. Then, dear readers, I happened upon it. A hulking beast of machine parts, reconditioned motors, and oil-based lubricants, it’s name? Shockspot. Built to enhance the already immensely pleasurable experience so many women have had riding a Sybian, Shockspot takes the concept of a motorized penetrative pleasure device to a whole new level. With the provided software and a little techno-aptitude, any woman willing to lay down a few grand for a Shockspot can have the device literally fuck her so perfectly she won’t believe it’s not, like, Brad Pitt (or whoever most dames fantasize about these days).
Shockspot’s software (for Windows only) allows the user to customize every three-dimensional movement the machine can make and, planted behind or in front of a desperately horny woman, there’s no limit to the potential thrusting precision and cervix-tapping power of a machine, a monster of metal and circuitry, made to be the ultimate in “fucking machines”. Tailored by the blissed out receiver (and her attached dong or dildo), Shockspot fucks hard or soft, slow or fast, deep or shallow, and vibrates according to whatever its controls are set to. What power! To hold the controls to such a machine in one’s hand and know that, intimacy and commitment issues be damned, you’re about to be plowed and plundered by something far more satisfying than any mere man, far more obedient than some ignorant slob, and as relentless and persistent as any slam-dunking power forward. In short: self-determined sexual bliss.
Ok, so the Shockspot website doesn’t explicitly mention anything about the device being a long-distance-relationship aid or a transcontinental live interactive sex toy, but it’s only a matter of time. I’ve already seen a couple of webcam models who have bought or are planning to buy their very own Shockspot with the intention of allowing their romantically-challenged patrons the chance to man the boards and “fuck” her how they want to. The software isn’t yet publicly available to operate Shockspot in a truly remote sense, but you can be sure it exists, whether at Shockspot HQ or in the backwoods of the sexually-depraved Internet in the hot little code-happy hands of some hacker genius who has no idea the tidal wave of thigh-shuddering orgasms he just unleashed upon a unsuspecting world.
Face it, fellas, with “toys” like this on the market, “toys” that allow women to pound their own pussies in whatever way they please, we’re pretty much future-fucked.