Missy Pink,
I’m a male, 34 years old, I’m financially stable and most of the time, I like to think I’m mentally stable too, but, these days, I wonder. I’ve been involved with a woman for the last 5 years. Recently, a new employee was hired into her office, a lesbian. They immediately became friends, and she was all she would talk about. I had a bit of jealousy churning in my gut, especially after I was told they’d kissed and she felt a spark, and felt as if we needed to take a break from one another, to see if we were truly compatible. While my jaw was dropped, she’d packed her things and was gone. We continued to talk on the phone. She had moved back in with her parents but didn’t want to be there, so, I offered to let her come back while she “explored” herself, I had to have her back in my life, I love her. At first we stayed in separate bedrooms, then, one night, she let me into her room and we’ve been sleeping together and having hardcore sex again. She would still see her lesbian friend occasionally, but, I thought we were solid. Last night, she left her laptop on and when I walked past, it was still logged into her email account. I found she’d been exchanging letters with my brother, not just friendly notes, but, nude pictures and also writings of the sex they’d been sharing. I want to confront her, but, I don’t want her to leave, I’m hanging onto every morsel I can. She’s a cheater, but, what does that make me?
– Fucked over by a female
Dear Friend;
If you’d gone back and re-read the words you sent to me, I think you would have easily been able to answer your own question of, “What does that make me?” Excuse my bluntness, but, I’m assuming you wouldn’t have written to me if you didn’t want me to shoot straight from the hip with the truth, but, my answer for you would be….pathetic! Back up and look at things, you said you’re mid 30’s, and financially secure, two huge things in your favor, use those to begin rebuilding upon.
Your girlfriend is in search of something about herself, but in finding what may or may not be missing, she’s destroying you. She felt a spark when kissing another woman, that may mean she’s being explorative, or, she may be bisexual, that’s only for her to know for certain. If sliding her tongue over a hardened clitoris excites her more than offering you a blowjob, then it could be her preference, or a lack of feeling for you. Since she’s now moved on to – not just another man, but your sibling, that tells me she’s on the prowl for something different and a bit naughty. Knowing she’s having intercourse with you and your brother is keeping an almost fetish filled spark burning within her.
Honestly speaking, if she’s now been with not only another woman, but also a male while still in a relationship with you, that’s a sign there could be more relationships that you don’t know about.
You said you were hanging onto every morsel you can, but, if you were to open your eyes, you’ll see that’s all you have, crumbs that she tosses to you only when she wants. You’re being used for a roof over her head and an orgasm now and then, but there’s nothing emotionally binding her to you. It’s time you take your life back.
You’ve given her a home, sex, understanding and compassion, now, it’s time you offer your inner strength and self respect. Neatly pack up her belongings and set them outside the front door, have the locks changed and then go on with your life. What you’re feeling isn’t love, it’s stemming from something deep within you, a lack of self confidence and/or self respect, of some sort, making you feel that she’s the only one that can put a smile on your face. In my heart of hearts, I believe you’ve known for quite some time she’s not the girl for you, but, sometimes it’s easier to hold onto what we’re familiar with, rather than seeking something new, refreshing and built on honesty.
Grab the broom and dustpan, sweep up those morsels and toss them into the trash, just like any other broken item that can’t be repaired, it’s time to find a replacement, because you’re being screwed in more way than one.