Personally, I wasn’t aware that any guy with ambitions of bro-hood needed much guidance. After all, the typical bro is concerned with only five things: video games, beer, money, and pussy; what’s left to talk about? Well, apparently there’s enough to keep BroBible publishing its advice for would-be champions of bro-dom. In a recent recap of a viral video created by those controversial Simple Pickup bros, BroBible declared Dana DeArmond not only a more adept cocksucker than Alix Lynx or Skin Diamond, but the unquestioned queen of fellatial technique. Not convinced? Allow my fellow oral enthusiasts and I to make a case for Ms. DeArmond’s supremacy. But first, you’d best watch Porn Stars Give Blowjob Advice.
Skin and Alix didn’t exactly stumble when it came to demonstrating some crucial techniques, no, but compared to the fearless and masterful displays of skill from Dana, they should be headed back to porno boot camp for remedial instruction. Dana DeArmond’s enthusiasm for sucking dick seems to know no bounds. Case in point, check out this preview from Throated:
While Skin Diamond’s all “Get it sloppy…. if their eyes roll back keep doing that thing,” and Alix demonstrates a few tepid licks and slurps, Dana compares fellatio to being a carnival clown trying to take the biggest ping-pong on the midway, stretching her remarkably flexible maw to accommodate not only her own orange popsicle but both her and her enthusiastic blonde student’s deep into her throat. Then, as if asked to top the most daring instruction yet given, she invites her student to fist her gaping mouth. Soon DeArmond is leaning backwards over a table to illustrate the bed-edge overhang technique, adding that “Crying is ok, too.”
It’s all over much too soon, of course, but thankfully Dana DeArmond can be seen sucking dick as masterfully as any woman on Earth on a plethora of adult websites and left both her students and all aspiring fellatio masters with an eloquent and inspiring piece of advice to “Suck life’s dick!”