This week’s Mr. Pink approved assessment of online pornographic wonderment covers a trio of impressive porn outlets of very, very different kinds. Those of you who snagged a VR headset from Santa last year may want to direct your viewer towards VR Bangers, a killer VR site loaded with top pornstar talents and fiesty newbies giving VR Bangers members first dibs in the virtual realm. A new network from the creators of Team Skeet, MYLF covers all things MILF-related, from condescending jerk-off instruction videos to intense multi-part hardcore step-cest romps, and in glorious HD too! Mr. Pink’s also goes tit for tat with the heavy hangers and absolutely huge hooters over at the retro styled, boobcentric adult site XX-Cel. Next week we’re looking at even more of this year’s burgeoning porno success stories but until then why not get yourself started with our coverage of what could be Evil Angel’s greatest anal adventure yet, and easily one of January’s most thrilling releases, on the blog. Until next week…!
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Mr. Pink’s Weekly Report – January 3rd, 2019
Happy New Year from Mr. Pink’s, my fine fapping friends! We’re starting things off with a scorching week here at Rancho Pinko with a trio of excellent and varied sites from around the world. Representing the EU (or what’s left of it), Private Classics took us on a tour through Continental porno history. Pin Up Files courted a bevy of busty-as-fuck models from around the world and displayed them for our viewing pleasure. And the infamous motherfuckers of Mofos Network proved they’re still some of the most unrepentant pervs working in porn today – and doing it all for the US of A! Of course, we couldn’t let 2019 hit without detailing the best and boldest NYE-themed porno parties taking place this year – check that out on the blog and be sure to return next week for another triple-dose of porno wisdom from your trusted porno advisor, Mr. Pink!
… and a Fappy New Year!
To anyone of legal drinking age (and likely younger), New Year’s Eve is the most serious partying opportunity of the calendar year. Whether spent getting blasted in the company of close friends or roaming around with a wingman on the prowl for a foxy female reveler or two, most guys between, say, 19 and 45 throw themselves into NYE with a fervor rarely seen outside championship sporting events. And the women, well, there’s enough ultra-confident female showboating on December 31st that the midnight moment is sure to provide them with plenty of options, should a kiss be required. Few parties come close to those produced for our adult entertainment, though, and the impending arrival of 2019 saw the porn world throw a few absolutely killer parties in our honor. Not content with duos, these trios and groups make for the perfect post-NYE party recap fap.
Always up for a wild night out, Reality Kings, the home of party-porn classic In the VIP, gave us VIP passes to two thoroughly exciting soirees this NYE. Landing first at Moms Bang Teens, Nubile New Year saw sexually frustrated cougar Janna Hicks left alone by her sleeping husband, only to be disturbed by strange sounds from downstairs. Turns out her stepdaughter, Kali Roses, has chosen to ring in the new year by blowing her BF in front of their friends! Turned on by such unrepentant sluttiness, Ms. Hicks kicks out the partygoers so she can have the young couple all to herself.
Two of 2018’s breakthrough newbies, Gia Derza and Ivy Lebelle, also dropped by Reality Kings – RK Prime, to be exact – to give Alex Legend one hell of a party to round out his 2018. True to its title, New Year New Rear takes advantage of its two curvaceous stars by not only shooting plenty of edge-lit riding and doggy shots as they share their new year dick, but also by allowing Alex anal access to both. The firework backdrop should, if you’re a fan of these two sultry queens, mimic your arousal in this scorching anal encounter!
If your idea of a perfect NYE party includes a topless champagne drenching of three nubile foxes followed by an equally messy triple-facial, BFFS is your party HQ! New Year’s Cumdown sees Chloe Temple, Paris White, and Liv Wild gobsmacked by some rich assholes Hollywood Hills mansion. As he toasts their health, they let the mood overtake them, strip down, and lead their baller host to his bedroom for a NYE that’s bound to change a few friendships.
Whatever you ended up doing to celebrate 2019’s arrival (and regardless of how it measures up against these incredible porno fantasies), we at Mr. Pink’s hope it was a blast and that the upcoming year is filled with minimal pain, ample pleasure and plenty of the world’s best porn!
Brazzers’ Xmas Bounty
Come Christmas time, Brazzers always ensures its members receive a special gift, something highly erotic, undeniably hardcore, and charmingly Christmas-themed. This year, however, the infamous “ZZ” aims to deflate your holiday exictement and replace it with good ol’ fashioned fucking, whether or not it ticks your seasonal celebration checklist or not. Folks, welcome to Brazzers’ ‘Fuck Christmas’!
Kimmy Granger, one of porn’s most energetic dick devourers, throws herself into Brazzers’ Xmas celebrations, taking the role of nerdy office girl trying to tie up work before her vacation. When janitor Xander Corvus tries to haggle his way to completing his vacuuming, Ms. Granger reaches for her most valuable bargaining chip: her cunt!
Kissa Sins is up next, paired not with her husband Jonny but Charles Dera, he of magnificent mustache, a lonely divorced dad seeking some professional company during the loneliest time of the year. In a prostitution fantasy I’m sure we’ve all had, Kissa brings her John some incredible Christmas pleasure.
This holiday season might not be the brightest for Honey Gold – see her recent health issues – but she’s blazing across the Brazzersphere in a steamy threesome scene with Anna Bell Peaks and Jessy Jones. Honey and Jessy await departure at a US airport until they’re spotted getting frisky by Homeland Security’s Ms. Peaks. After questioning Jessy and securing him in another room, Peaks applies her specialized interrogation techniques on his super-foxy gal pal. Needless to say, crimes are confessed, cum is shared, and flights are seemingly endlessly delayed.
In a mother’s worst nightmare cum filthy fantasy, Kendra Lust has slaved away over a hot stove to prepare a memorable holiday meal for her family. Stood up her ungrateful brood, she retires to the living room, whips out a vibrator and loses herself in solo pleasure. Lost between her legs, Ms. Lust burns the turkey and is now stuck alone, hungry, and horny. When pizza delivery savior and professional dick swinger Jonny Sins arrives with an inadequately prepared pie, Kendra decides his own meat will have to satisfy her hunger.
Happy Holidays from Mr. Pink’s Porn Reviews!!!