Porn Stars | Mr. Pink's Blog - Part 56

America’s Naughtiest Ice Bucket Challenge

Dumping a bucket of ice-cold water over your head might seem like an idiotic use of one’s time, but the thousands of celebrities, politicians, athletes, and everyday folks like you and I who’ve done exactly that in the name of raising awareness of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS; aka ‘Lou Gehrig’s Disease’), a progressive neurodegenerative disease affecting the brain’s nerve cells and the spinal cord. Hey, raising awareness of an often fatal disease and promoting donations to ALS Association, a charity focused on ALS care, can only be a good thing, right? Not exactly, some critics say, citing severe global water shortages and the hazy instructions for the challenge – so, if I dump the bucket I don’t have to pay but if I don’t dump the bucket, I do? – though naysayers didn’t stop Naughty America jumping on the bandwagon.

“Social media is stressing me out!” complains Naughty Rich Girl Jillian Janson to her butler, Johnny Sins, before asking him to explain to her the whole Ice Bucket Challenge brouhaha. “There’s something about freezing to death that just doesn’t rub me the right way,” she says, “Can’t you just make this all go away?” Sins offers his services, to which Ms. Janson curiously responds in a most forward manner. “What, do I need to have sex with you to make you do something for me? Ok, well, whip it out!”

Clearly abusing her professional hold on him, Janson does indeed take Sins’s growing dick out his neatly pressed trousers, leading him into a couch-based coupling that ends with Sins depositing a little something inside Ms. Janson, soiling her body and dress in the process. Afterwards, she heads outside for some sun, only to be met by a bucket-wielding Sins who now says he, having just won the lottery, is quitting. He raises the jumbo red bucket high above the suntanning Ms. Janson before overturning it and drenching her (appropriately white-shirted) body with the icy water.

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Sure, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense and the dialog is particularly stilted and unrealistic, but at least Naughty America’s contribution to the #1 viral marketing hit of 2014, the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge is for a good cause. Isn’t it? Someone donated something, didn’t they?

Kayla Kayden Loves Boys

Appearing first as Lacy Spice in a Playboy pictorial and masturbating at Twistys before adopting the much pornier moniker Kayla Kayden and entertaining fans live via MyFreeCams, there’s a blonde Italian-American tearing up the hetero porn world of late and earning comparisons to the legendary Jenna Jameson. And, naturally for any big-breasted blonde with boundless enthusiasm for large dick, Kayla has made her B/G debut under the direction of the masters of bimbo-styled pornstar worship, Brazzers. More specifically, she steams up the screen at the (in this case) extremely appropriately titled Baby Got Boobs!

Brazzers’ newly adopted use of 60fps slow-motion footage might not be the best way to showcase such immoveable artificial boobage, making them look a little like cement orbs attached to a waving flag, but Kayla otherwise looks a treat, swanning around under the hot Californian sun and slathering her 32DD-25-34 frame with one of those unlabeled, possibly homemade bottles of lube before inviting Kieran Lee to apply his handiwork. Soaking up the rays poolside, the pair make the most of the opportunity – Kayla seems especially enthusiastic and is very vocal about it – and end with one of those half-in, half-out creampies that leave a very visible mess. Good thing the pool (which the housesitting Mr. Lee was instructed not to use) is warm and inviting and perfect for a swift cleanup.

Unlike those pornstars who’ve pledged themselves to Brazzers via long-term exclusive performance contracts, Kayla Kayden is keeping her options open and enjoying her newly hetero couplings, having already shot for Brazzers’ Big Tits at School with Jessy Jones, a Digital Playground Raw Cuts video with Ramon Nomar, and taking on Danny D for another as-yet-unnamed Brazzers site. Clearly, this stacked, sweet-voiced blonde is heading for porno superstardom, so why not get in on the ground floor and enjoy every moment of Kayla Kayden’s rise to the top?

Two New Wand Massagers to Rock Your Girl

Over the past few years, two sex toys have ruled the market, one intended for use by men and the other by women. While the male Fleshlight toy has seen a number of imitators riding its substantial coattails, the most prominent female aid, the Hitachi Magic Wand has stood alone as the reigning champ of masturbatory tools. Until now, that is.

Another plug-in wand-style massager has been proving itself very popular in Europe of late and even claimed the Editor’s Award at the 2014 Erotic Trade Organization Awards. Doxy Massager is its name, applying heavy vibrational force to crucial erogenous zones is its game. Made by CMG Leisure Limited, Doxy offers a PVC-covered aluminum head that can deliver throbs and vibrations from 3,000 to 9,000 RPM, and can even be made to work its way up as the user reaches higher planes of pleasure. The only drawback to both the Hitachi Magic Wand and Doxy Massager, at least as far as I can see, is the need for a power outlet to plug them into. If only some bold, tech savvy entrepreneur would come along with something similar, only battery-operated. (Yo, Shibari, that’s your cue!)

BBW pornstar, sex educator, and businesswoman par excellence, Kelly Shibari, has unleashed her own take on the wand massager which she’s calling Halo. And, dear readers, it’s cordless! Talking to Fleshbot about the device, Shibari said other wand massagers proved too strong, too noisy, and too unwieldy for her, so when the chance to align herself with a device that had 10 different speeds, quiet operation, was waterproof, and ditched the power cable in favor of a rechargeable internal battery, she jumped. And, at $49, the Shibari Halo costs a fraction of what you’d pay for a Doxy (approximately $160).

“So,” I’m sure you’re wondering about now, “which one should I buy for my dearly beloved to enhance her own sexual satisfaction as well as our mutual activity? Should I wait for Doxy’s arrival on US shelves or trust in Kelly Shibari and her angelic cordless creation?” On that point, my friends, I’ll have to get back to you once they’ve been extensively tested (and possibly run into the ground) by me and mine – and not like this disappointingly SFW test run by Chessie kay:

Hell, maybe I’ll buy a pair, race ’em across the kitchen floor, and declare the winner the greatest vibrator in the history of sexual aids! Double hell, maybe I’ll see who sends me a complimentary device and devote myself to them and only them for all eternity. Then and only then will there be an official declaration of vibrational supremacy from the master of masturbatory analysis, Mr. Pink!

Dillion Harper is Velvet Sinn

Dillion Harper has been Your Sister’s Hot Friend, an Elegant Angel Cutie, a Footsie Babe, and a Strap-On sporting Teacher-fucker, but now she’s adopting an altogether different persona, one of her own creation. Meet Velvet Sinn, Harper’s “badass alter ego” who one day realizes her burgeoning career in adult entertainment is only exacerbating the visions and voices urging her to go battle crime using as her weapon her incredible beauty and seductiveness.

“I’ve been working hard creating Velvet Sinn,” Dillion said. “She isn’t ‘sugar and spice and everything nice.’ She’s tough, sexy, and doesn’t take any crap from anyone.” Least of all criminal who feel they pull a fast one on a pretty, small-statured girl like herself. With the first issue now available from Big Boy Comics and Artist Island Management, Harper is prepping her further paneled-page adventures. “It’s been a fun outlet for me, and we are looking forward to working on the next issue.”

To purchase your copy of Velvet Sinn for $4.95, contact Velvet Sinn by email.