Some of you no doubt know him as either The Amazing Spider-Man or yet another R-Patz clone, but Andrew Garfield has never really sparked a dot on Mr. Pink’s radar… until now. After briefly discussing porn names with journalist Matt Patches of Hollywood.com, Garfield admitted to watching Axel Braun’s recent web-slinging sex-fest, Spiderman XXX: A Porn Parody for “inspiration.” Yeah, whatever, A-Garf, like you didn’t shoot some webs of your own while ogling Brooklyn Lee’s Mary-Jane, a character who didn’t even make it into his relaunch flick.
“You can find inspiration anywhere when it comes to this character because ’cause it’s everyone’s; it belongs to everyone, porn actors, you know…” Garfield explained while continually fondling his own chin in a remarkable display of self-pleasure before following Patches’s lead into more family-friendly areas of discussion. Hey, these two instant pals can ignore the issue all they want, but if the dude playing Spider-Man is openly admitting to gleaning acting inspiration from porn, that sets a monumental precedent. Robert Downey Jr. has a long history of decadence so maybe the next Avengers movie will feature Downey’s Iron Man utilizing some less violent technological wizardry, perhaps to bed Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow. Who knows, maybe the next movie will see my favorite female Avenger, Ms. Marvel, added to the cast and perhaps played by Battlestar Galactica’s Tricia Helfer. Throw in the ferocious humanoid-feline Tigra (Michelle Rodriguez or Eva Mendes anyone?) and you’ve got a pretty damn intense level of sexual tension running around the big 3D-outfitted cinema come Avengers 2.
So, Joss Whedon, allow me to introduce you to a little flick called The Avengers XXX: A Porn Parody.