Universal Pictures Sues Fifty Shades Parodists

Fifty Shades of Grey XXXUniversal Pictures might be developing the official film adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey, the hit erotic fiction trilogy that has had sexually unsatisfied American women all in a tizzy these past months, but it’s not the only entertainment entity attempting to capture the seductive and salacious BDSM-infused story of a virginal college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and dominant business magnate, Christian Grey. Smash Pictures, an adult entertainment studio based out of Chatsworth, California has already completed production on its adaptation, an unofficial one that is now drawing the ire of Universal and the attention of its lawyers. Objecting to Smash’s making a film that flagrantly contradicts the right of Universal, which reportedly paid $4 million for E. L. James’ best sellers in early 2012, to produce its version, which the studio is reportedly negotiating with Angelina Jolie directing and Ryan Gosling taking the role of young multi-millionaire and devoted ass-man, Grey. Smash Pictures, however, contends that only it can do the novels justice.

Universal’s complaint states “By lifting exact dialogue, characters, events, story, and style from the Fifty Shades trilogy, Smash Pictures ensured that the first XXX adaptation was, in fact, as close as possible to the original works.” Smash VP Stuart Wall, named in the complaint alongside Smash owner Daniel Quinn and writer/director Jim Powers, told LA Weekly’s Barbie Davenporte about the company’s recent turn to more romantic fare after years of more explicit stuff, and called their Fifty Shades adaptation “very true to the book and its S&M-themed romance.” Davenporte added “And while parodies are the only way adult film studios can make money these days, making a ‘Fifty Shades’ version is truly the only way to put the three erotic novels in film in their BDSM glory without the MPAA censorship and film industry finger-wagging.” But if Smash and Powers are actually aiming for as close an adaptation as possible, does their claim to fair use of parody, the same legal protection that allows so many other porn parodies to exist, not apply? Without the clear distinction between the two versions of Fifty Shades, Smash’s and Universal’s, and the former already on shelves as the official one slugs through development and preproduction, both parties stand to make or loss a killing.

Elegant Angel Ranks Black Pornstars

Elegant Angel's Sexiest Black Porn StarsElegant Angel is a company that lives to rank and categorize pornstars. From the always-successful Performers of the Year releases to feature titles celebrating a woman who has finally earned herself a headline role, Elegant Angel’s features often focus on achievements made by performers instead of a niche sexual act like so many other studios. Now, after the success of its 100 Sexiest Porn Stars Ever and 25 Sexiest Boobs Ever countdowns, EA once again let the fans have their say, urging them to vote for the 25 Sexiest Black Porn Stars Ever. The results? Well, they’re a little predictable but worth celebrating nonetheless.

While I can’t help but think it’s a little absurd to keep African American performers firmly in their own category while the white girls and Latinas battle it out in the unqualified, racially diverse Sexiest Pornstars poll – only three black performers made that list: Roxy Reynolds, Pinky, and Jada Fire – is that simply because black women in porn have proven to be fairly unpopular? Lex Steele and Prince Yashua are top draws, perpetuating the myth of dominant black male sexuality (though you can hardly blame them or their generous genes for that), while black women seem relegated to niche releases. If Nyomi Banxxx is the sexiest black female performer of all time, how come she didn’t make the general top 100 poll?

Although Elegant Angel hasn’t disclosed the numerical rank of the 25 Sexiest Black Porn Stars Ever, here are the names emblazoned on the box art: Nyomi Banxxx, Jada Fire, Skin Diamond, Misty Stone, Megan Vaughan, Roxy Reynolds, Bethany Benz, Baby Cakes, Marie Luv, Pinky, Ana Foxxx, Catalina Taylor, Evanni Solei, Vanessa Blue, Cherokee, Carmen Hayes, Olivia Winters, Kitten, Bella Moretti, Leilani Leeane, Lacey Duvalle, Jasmine Cashmere…

Well, that’s 22 of them. Who are the other three? I guess we’ll have to wait until 25 Sexiest Black Porn Stars Ever inches closer to confirming a release date. In the meantime, Complex ranked their favorite black adult performers and came up with some decidedly different results.

Lane Sisters Snag XBIZ Nomination

The Lane SistersCanadian sisters Roxy and Shana Lane received their first Mr. Pink’s review only a few weeks ago after launching their site only a few short months prior, but it looks like they’re already making an impact. XBIZ has just announced that the near-identical brunettes have garnered a nomination for said industry body’s awards in the category of Web Star of the Year.

Beating out more than 4,500 other pre-nominated adult performers, the Lane Sisters’ nomination pits them against online porn mainstays like Kelly Madison, Ariel Rebel, Jelena Jensen and Vicky Vette, which Roxy calls “scary but exciting. Without all the love and support from our fans, none of this would be possible.”

Tera Patrick, Roxy and Shana’s sometime guest star, is set to present the 2013 XBIZ Awards on January 11 in Century City, Los Angeles.

Dry and Disappointed – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comMissy Pink,

I’m beginning to wonder how many people share the same bed as me and my boyfriend. He’s wonderful and perfect in all areas, except the sexual part. He has a habit of comparing me to his past lovers all the time, just because I don’t always have an orgasm, telling me it must be me, he never had a problem with any other woman, I’m feeling like I’m not good enough for him.

Dry and Disappointed

Dear Dry and Disappointed;

You said your boyfriend is perfect in all areas except sex, but, in my opinion, he’s definitely lacking certain attributes and they happen to show at that particular time. In the first place, if he, and other men for that matter understood that not every woman in the world has the same make-up when it comes to receiving pleasure, the world would be much better off in the bedroom.

Believe it or not, there are actually women that find it nearly impossible to climax at all, and I’m not just talking about during intercourse only. Each female, and male are an individual, and maybe it’s time you find someone that is a bit more understanding and wise in the ways of how a relationship works. There’s a reason why so much conversation revolves around women faking orgasms, and if you’re trying to save your boyfriend’s ego, or live up to the ghosts of girlfriend’s past, then by all means, breathe a little harder, toss a throaty moan in here and there, lift your pelvic area and make him feel as though a rush of estrogen filled juices are flowing over his male member, he’ll roll over, start snoring and have sweet dreams…thinking he’s the stud of saturated sheets. Chances are, that’s what many of his ex’s did as well, so he’s not as good as he thinks.

So what if foreplay takes a little longer, what if his tongue needs to work a bit faster on your clit, or maybe an extra few minutes for passionate kissing is called for, when you care about someone, you want them to be satisfied, not under a pretense, but rather reality. Many times women seem to get the short end of the stick (pun intended) when it comes to assuring our needs are met, if not, there wouldn’t be such a high surge in battery sales!

Chances are, he’s handsome, makes a great conversation piece between you and your gal pals, and maybe brings you flowers now and then, but there’s more than that – that will make him a keeper.  If his past lovers have faked orgasms to keep him in the love nest, then he probably believes he’s every woman’s answer to satisfaction, so, in order to keep his batting average high, he’s going to make you feel inadequate. Do not let this happen! There’s nothing wrong with you, and in no way should you ever be compared to anyone’s previous conquest, that says volumes for your boyfriend, and none of it equals an adjective of, “perfect,” as you used.

Think long and hard about sharing your bed with others from your boyfriend’s memory, or, if you can handle things as they are now, then at least assure yourself they aren’t lying there smoking a cigarette with a big smile on their face, they probably still have an ache in their loins and wonder what the hot, next door neighbor might be doing in the morning. Stick to your guns, educate him, if he still refuses to think the problem might be his approach, then you have to decide what’s more important. Never be judged, never be made to feel like you’re second best, and never be unhappy to keep him living a fantasy. Instead of being dry and disappointed, find the person that makes sure you’re wet and satisfied. Comparisons work between apples and oranges, but even fruit will spoil and needs to be tossed out now and then!