After Halloween rattled our minds and most deviant imaginations last week, this week at Mr. Pink’s we return to our regularly scheduled programming of porno inquiry! Under investigation this week: Manuel Ferrara, the famous Frenchman and his new Jules Jordan affiliated website; and Fetish Network’s latest teen-assaulting hardcore horror show, Internet Creeper. One’s a mainstream marvel and the other’s destined to remain awesome but obscure forever. Find out which at your favorite font of pornographic wisdom, Mr. Pink’s Porn Reviews!
Halloween Hangover Cures
Well, it’s been a whole five days since the spirits of the netherworld rose up to possess us all, thrust us into elaborate (and often crazy expensive) costumes, and hurl us together for a wild, unhinged social explosion, so what does the porn world have to show for it? This year, along with the requisite cosplay-aided carnality and general fun-lovin’ usually seen in the adult sphere around this time of year, a few studios went all out and delivered multi-part epics tailored to Halloween fans everywhere. The infamous Brazzers set itself apart thanks to the efforts of a particular returning superstar performer while Burning Angel, no stranger to horror-themed porn, released another porn parody starring a cast of today’s boldest studs ’n’ sluts. Whether you were too busy IRL to beat your meat last Wednesday or spent the whole day immersed in utterly fantastic fucking, here’s Mr. Pink’s recap of what went down at two of the most impressive porn studios in the land on Halloween ’18.
The world famous “ZZ” Brazzers roped in returning open-orificed star, Bonnie Rotten, who took a temporary break from porn in late 2015 to welcome her first child, and cast her as a woman whose Halloween is ignited by the arrival of a mystery package containing a vibrator. He Came at Night opens with Bonnie enjoying some alone time with her new toy before being startled by a phone call from some heavy-breathing freak who’s actually a lot closer than she thinks. In Part 2, Bonnie’s prank caller won’t stop so she turns to neighbor Bill Bailey for a safe, secure lap to sit in. It doesn’t hurt that Bill’s lady, Kira Noir, is just as concerned for her foxy female neighbor as her man is. Part 3 brings Bonnie’s terrifying ordeal to the inevitable conclusion: the masked figure lurking on her property and breathing heavily down her phone line can no longer hang back and observe. Small Hands strikes, charging through the house in pursuit of his moistened, fleshy prize, revealing himself to be Bonnie’s tormenter – and not a bad lay, at all!
Burning Angel has been delivering awesome Halloween entertainment for discerning adults for many years now and, this year, the efforts BA unleashed on its devoted subscribers and supporters went above and beyond what most studios can muster. Joanna Angel and her crew of devilish deviants concocted this year a four-part extravaganza called I Know Who You Fucked Last Halloween. Detailing Joanna Angel’s descent into a very horny version of hell, chapter one sees her husband Small Hands driving Ms. Angel to a secret location for a “surprise.” Well, surprise! Ivy Lebelle, Katrina Jade, and Ariana Marie pounce on Joanna and devour her completely, leaving her to wonder what her ultimate fate will be. Ms. Lebelle, an awesome new future superstar, takes chapter two for herself, treating a preferred client, Steve Holmes, to a wondrous working over after her pops up in a spooky mask, playfully scaring her. Chapter three highlights the excellent Katrina Jade: relaxing at home, trying not to recall the grisly death from chapter one, Ms. Jade is visited by the deceased woman’s widower and decides to help him get over the loss of his one true love… with pussy. Working its way to a roaring climactic scene starring Ariana Marie, I Know Who You Fucked Last Halloween spans many years and ends on a denouement. A year after enduring the terrifying ordeal of chapter one. Ariana is in her yoga studio teaching two guys to limber up when she reveals her hidden interest in something else, the infamous Devil’s Triangle! Taking on both boys in an effort to observe herself of her sins, Ms. Marie is ultimately left with a messy studio and face – and a fuckpile of regrets!
Whatever you ended up doing on All Hallows’ Eve, we hope the following days are filled with fond remembrances and plenty of costumed carnality!
Mr. Pink’s Weekly Report – October 25th, 2018
This week’s triple-shot of adult website assessments brings to Mr. Pink’s Porn Reviews a new look at a longstanding classic, a first glimpse of Europe’s hottest VR effort, and one of the Continent’s messiest, filthiest fuck parades – all in the name of an enlightened porn audience! Nubiles.net continues to sizzle with its young, fresh cast, but it’s the network access that will really seal the deal for new fans. DDF Network VR by Denys Defrancesco immerses you in a virtual orgy of Euro-sluts, each woman angling for your pleasure. Who brought the mess, though, you ask? German Goo Girls, one of the filthiest cum-obsessed bukkake blasts known to Internet-connected man, that’s who – and there’ll likely be more messiness next week as Mr. Pink’s Porn Reviews brings you more fresh takes on the online adult world.
Requiem for a Pimp
Humanoid robots equipped with advanced Artificial Intelligences may be coming soon to a brothel near you and sex workers rights may a hot political topic, but when it comes to prostitution, few Americans could hope to match the adulation and respect, and the vehement condemnation, of his peers as Dennis Hof, proprietor of seven Nevada brothels, who was found dead at his famed Love Ranch on Tuesday.
Among his many claims to adult industry fame, Hof trumpeted free sexual commerce as typified by his legendary establishments. Porn fans didn’t just admire his work from afar, though, as many traveled to Crystal, Nevada to enjoy fantasy fulfillment sessions with Sunny Lane, Mika Tan, Coffee Brown, and a string of other stunning starlets who made the move from selling themselves on-screen to doing it in person for anyone willing to pay.
Passing away in his sleep romping around his own 72nd birthday party (and even adopting a dog), Hof leaves behind an empire that is truly second to none on American soil. One-time (and perhaps current) flame, Heidi Fleiss, herself quite experiencing in the ol’ pimpin’ business, is rumored to be poised to take over. Hof’s political opponents and supporters – he was mid-campaign for a Nevada State Assembly seat – are in shock at the news. And we, the porn fans that never made it to one of his houses of sin to bang our favorite adult superstar (or dedicated off-screen-only unknown), raise our glasses in toast of one of the adult world’s truly singular (and singularly controversial) figures!