Tag: Sex Advice

Missy Pink;

I never thought I’d be complaining about frequent sex, but, I sort of am. My problem is this, my husband, for the last few years has suddenly not been in the mood through the day, before we go to bed, first thing in the morning, none of those, his erection happens in the middle of the night! Just as I’m deeply within my REM state, he’s wanting to be deeply within me, and then I cannot get back to sleep for the rest of the night once I’ve been awakened. I have asked him why the odd hour for having sex, but, he just shrugs his shoulders and says, “At least I’m keeping it at home!” I’m glad for that fact, but, multiple times a week now I’m going without enough rest, how do I change his internal clock for sex?

Sperm Instead of Sleep

Dear Friend;

Well, first of all, I have to say, it is good that your husband is “Keeping it at home” as he says, but, something tells me if he’s out past the midnight hour with his meat filled moods, it would be a bit difficult to explain not being in his own bed, if that’s the normal way of life around your home.

It’s hard to explain what brings on the notion, what turns us on one day, might not do a thing for us the next, no matter what time of the day it is. It could be his work has him exhausted, and, after a few hours of rest, he awakens refreshed and aroused. Maybe he’s snacking on something before calling it a night, creating dreams that leave him unable to turn over in bed. If you’re clad in something besides flannel, smelling particularly sweet after your nightly shower, with the application of a new body wash, the scent wafts into his dreams and he comes to wanting what smells good enough to eat. It could be all of these or none of this, there’s no pinpointing how the erogenous zone of the brain works.

You may want to consider taking some afternoon naps, or saving your housework for a third shift sort of schedule, because, if this has been going on for quite some time, the routine may not be changing quickly. Don’t hesitate in having a heart to hard-on talk with him, express that being interrupted through the night is not giving you the most pleasant of days, and, even though you appreciate the middle of the night, hardcore adventures, if he could set his alarm for a bit earlier in the evening, you’d be able to show your appreciation a bit better.

A bit of sheet saturation during the wee hours of the morning is hot, I mean, let’s face it, who doesn’t enjoy the periodic placement of manhood when most of the world is tossing and turning, only dreaming of what you’re getting, but, when that’s the only time you get to enjoy the erotica, I can understand your lack of enthusiasm.

A meeting of the minds is definitely called for in a situation such as this, let him know, as much as you enjoy getting off, it’s not as exciting knowing you’ll then be getting up.

Missy Pink,

I can sum up my problem in three words, I hate sex. Well, maybe hate is too strong of a word, but, it’s just not something I need or most of the time, even want in my life. I’ve never had the type of orgasm that will make your eyes roll back in your head like I read of in my romance novels, and it seems like a waste of time. I wasn’t a virgin when I married my husband 14 years ago, so, it’s not that he’s doing something wrong, I just have no excitement over it, so, I fake my lack of desire from him.

Lust Lost

Dear Friend;

You may have been able to sum things up in three words as to your cause for writing me, but, whether you know it or not, you’ve actually voiced more than one issue to me.

First of all, you’ve been married for 14 years, which means your spouse knows you much better than you think. There are certain senses that develop over the years when you live with someone, somewhere between the richer and poorer, and in sickness and in health, there’s an unstated clause of during orgasm and faked arousal, so yes, I would think he knows, and, if he’s picking up on your receptors of boredom and duty instead of desire, he’s probably feeling that he is the problem, he’s not exciting you enough to have you writhing across the sheets, saturating them in your female juices.

I’ve said it before, but it still rings true, the mind is the largest sex organ of the body, and, if you’ve convinced yourself that no amount of stimulation in the world will have you squirting during foreplay, then, it won’t. You’ve literally talked yourself out of the erotica.

You also spoke of being an avid fan of romance novels, which is fine for nighttime reading when sleep won’t come, but, you won’t cum either if you feel that life is like what’s written upon those pages. It’s fiction, and yes, real romance can be just as passionate at times, but, I think you’re setting your expectations too high, using the characters in your books as the way things should be.

You need to talk to your husband. Granted, it won’t be easy, it’s not as if you’re telling him you’ve suddenly developed a dislike for broccoli, this is much bigger. However, the only thing larger is allowing your husband to feel as though he’s failing you, and by doing so, you’re also failing yourself, there’s juicy jubilance that can be found in the bedroom, but, you need to open your mind and your thighs too it, along with your husband’s eyes of what you’ve been experiencing. If he feels inadequate, he may begin looking for another woman to prove his worth with, and, 14 years of marriage is a lot to throw away over you faking during fornication.

If you truly dislike the act of hardcore sex itself, then be honest with him, but, if there is an ember burning that just needs to be stoked through reality to gain full flame, then, give it a chance. Put your book down and pick up your vibrator, get in touch with yourself. Relax, let your eyes roll back and then experience the wonders with the man you exchanged vows with.

Missy Pink;

I’m 42 years old, married to my high school sweetheart and we have no marital problems, oh, the usual spats, but nothing ever serious. Our sex practices have always been good, not mind blowing for me, but sufficient. Here is my problem, I’m bisexual. I’ve had relationships with men in the past, but for the last three months I’ve been seeing one man that I’ve grown quite fond of, and, our intimacy was always powerful and hot. My wife found out about my affair, and, I was very surprised at how well she took it, no tears, no threat of divorce, she was calm and actually all right about it. For some reason the sex with her has gotten better and with him it’s become dull, a complete flip. I don’t know why. I hate to break off my relationship, I do care for him emotionally and I know he feels the same, but, I’m so bored our meetings are becoming more infrequent because I cancel. I don’t understand what’s happening.

~ Bi With a Guy

Dear Friend;

In the first place, I have to say, a warm, hearty and happy pat on the back for your wife, she is an open minded woman that has placed more sentiment on the important parts of your marriage and seems to be dealing with the desires in a way that is very commendable. It’s apparent she doesn’t feel threatened, and even though you may not have seen any tears, there possibly could have been some shed, but, it seems her vows hold a great importance to her. The fact still remains, you’ve been unfaithful, and, it doesn’t matter what gender it’s happened with, you have still shared yourself with someone other than your spouse. Okay, now that I’ve wagged my finger on that account, we’ll move on.

With any relationship, especially in the very beginning, there’s this heightened sense of excitement, the act of hardly able to wait until the next time you’re together, it’s new, invigorating, and it will consume your every thought. I’m sure much of what you shared with this other man falls under that category, even though you say you’ve had relationships in the past with other men, but this one is special. Maybe you have a bit more in common, or maybe there’s something about his sexual techniques that have you breathing extra hard.

The main thing about extra marital affairs and the exhilaration is the taboo nature of having to sneak to be romantic. The little white lies, the backstreets traveling from one point to the other so your car won’t be seen, all of those little shifty and devious practices only feed the fire in your loins. That is probably what made your times together so powerful and hot, after all, when you have sex with your wife, it’s an accepted and expected act, meaning you either raise the arousal level between the two of you between the sheets, or resign yourself to the fact, this is marriage.

When your wife found out and handled it in the manner she did, there was suddenly no need to be underhanded, no cause for lies and private calls or texting to set up your next rendezvous, which means, he was suddenly not as appealing. It’s not that something about him changed, nor did anything in your emotional feelings for him alter….to be blunt, it just suddenly wasn’t any fun anymore. On the flip side, because of the way your wife took the news about your being bisexual, you immediately saw her in a whole new light, your respect and admiration for her surmounted and you felt an attraction physically because of the changes emotionally.

You’ve openly admitted to being bisexual, which means you’ll continue to be attracted to the male gender, but, at this time, you fancy the warm, moist receiving of your wife’s vagina, to the engorged erection of your lover, with whom you no longer have to be sly with the shaft. Just because your spouse has shown how important your union of marriage is to her, that doesn’t mean it gives you the green light to abuse the situation. She’s kind hearted, but, she’s not stupid, if you over indulge with the bulge, you may find yourself without a gender to cum to.