Television | Mr. Pink's Blog

Back to School with Rocco Siffredi

The student debt crisis shows no signs of abating, admissions processes are more bewildering than ever, and job prospects for graduates aren’t exactly overflowing, so why on Earth would any grown adult choose to go back into the education system after finally giving it the finger? I can’t think of any reasons, but I’m sure Professor Rocco Siffredi of Universidad del Porno can.

That’s right, students of the sexual arts, the one and only Italian Stallion himself has moved out of performing himself and is now teaching others to follow in his immense footsteps. ‘Siffredi Hard Academy’ aims to take his approximately 30 students from eager amateurs to bona fide porno professionals who can stand with the best adult performers in the world. Why so few students? Well, this venture isn’t likely to pay for itself, so Siffredi has teamed with Italian television channel La5 and will be bringing his school to the small screen as a reality series. Each student was chosen by school administrators and given the Siffredi stamp of approval (or at least acceptance) before being allowed to enroll. Is Rocco instructing the next wave of European porno superstars or is this just a vain effort to increase his own profile now that performing if off the cards for the 51-year-old family man and multi-AVN winner? We’ll have to wait until his students have graduated, found agents, and started working, but thankfully Sensi Siffredi can be seen instructing his class on YouTube. Here we see him talking about controlling one’s own strength and (surprise, surprise) tells his students not to actually choke girls, but to instead pretend.

Rocco Siffredi made pretend sex feel real and is now teaching real folks having real sex how to pretend? Life sure does take us through some twists and turns, doesn’t it, maestro?

American Whore Story, ZZ-Style

Brazzers isn’t the kind of porn company to embark on any new venture with cautious reserve, so with Halloween on the horizon it was expected that the ZZ would throw its ample weight behind a unique celebration. This year it’s American Whore Story.

American Whore Story is a multi-chapter epic from Brazzers that sees pornstars Katrina Jade, Bonnie Rotten, Skin Diamond and Julez Ventura tackle horrific, treacherous situations all in the name of sexual adventure. Ably abetted by everyone’s favorite expressively-eyebrowed male star Tommy Pistol, insanely-well-endowed Brit Danny D, and All-American boy-next-door Tyler Nixon (at least in the first three chapters), the carnally obsessed cast get to filling every available orifice regardless of the precarious situations surrounding them. In American Whore Story’s first chapter (published last week at ZZ Series), Katrina Jade flags down travelers Tyler and Danny and successfully distracts Tyler from his original goal: locating a secret grave-site that held a mass of partial human remains. When she turns down the motel room light to get some post-coital zees, Katrina is terrified (as she should be) by someone at her bedroom door.

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Part two of this Brazzers Halloween horror series sees Danny continue his ghost hunt alone, roping motel employee Julez Ventura (who’s angling for a joint) into helping him locate his now-missing pal. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, he stumbles upon a bound and hooded Skin Diamond, wrapped in leather and placed on an altar. Freeing her, Danny is greeted by Diamond with a hysterical laughing fit before Ventura joins them, masked and cowled, and seduces our hapless hero into a metaphysical threesome that leaves him disoriented and confused when they vanish into a puff of smoke after draining him. But who’s that mysterious dark-haired man seen in security footage walking the area with the missing Tyler and what does he want with our fellas?

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Bonnie Rotten, arguably the most beloved hyper-sexual and endlessly elastic deviant in porn today, takes center stage for the third chapter of Brazzers’ American Whore Story (due for release October 21st) but whether she provides any answers or simply poses more questions remains to be seen. Joining forces with the apparent mastermind behind all this insanity (that’d be Mr. Pistol), Rotten takes a railing in all three holes. But what exactly is her involvement and what has happened to Katrina Jade and Tyler Nixon to leave Danny D so ill-at-ease? Hop along, little pumpkins, to Brazzers site ZZ Series to catch the unfolding of this particular pornographic horror story as can only be told by adult entertainment’s most notoriously epic studio.

Naughty America on Roku!

Naughty America, the nation’s most patriotic online pornography network, has been filling the homes, phones, and workplace computers of Americans with hardcore sexuality since 2004. Now, however, it has its sights set on your living room – and not via your DVD player, either. Roku, the streaming video player that brings HTTP Live Streaming to your living room television, hasn’t exactly been overflowing with decent adult entertainment options since its launch back in 2008. A few big shots like Videobox, FyreTV, and Reality Kings took to Roku to expand the reach of their services, but most adult entities for some odd reason stayed away. Naughty America’s recent revelation of a dedicated NA Roku channel, then, was like a biblical decree from a mountaintop: “Thou shalt watcheth pornographs in the comfort of thine own living room or home theater!”

Naughty America’s Roku channel doesn’t carry over all the features that have made Naughty America such a perpetual favorite amongst smut fans – noticeably absent is a good chunk of the complete video collection and the recently unveiled 4K High Definition video format – but there’s certainly a strong selection of material already online, with more coming every day. Naughty America’s Roku app currently offers existing members TV access to their Favorites, as well as Latest Scenes and Featured Scenes, and the work of Featured Pornstars featured on the legendary network. Roku users can also examine the contents of 33 Naughty America sites and view their selections in both 720p and 1080p resolutions. Best of all, there’s no delay between an update going live on the website and it being added to NA’s Roku selections.

Ok, Bang Bros, Brazzers, Porn Pros, Team Skeet and any other adult network wanting to remain relevant in this, the 21st Century… now it’s your turn to attempt a take over of the living rooms of America.

Sexing Up Breaking Bad

Being a relatively minor player in the porn parody game hasn’t stopped Sweet Mess Films from tackling a critically acclaimed, almost universally revered television show that has been personally one of the greatest television shows I have ever seen – and the company has landed some top talent, too, with Lexi Belle, Tasha Reign, Brandy Aniston, and Presidential write-in candidate Ron Jeremy all nabbing roles. The title? Breaking Bad XXX: A Sweet Mess Films Parody.

Rodney Moore, an AVN Hall of Fame luminary and keen observer of the state of the adult industry, wrote the script to this, the first Breaking Bad porn parody, as a commentary on the looming threat Measure B held over the porn world, but he and director David Lord have managed to infuse the movie with plenty of laughs and libidinous activity, too, according to Jerry E., owner of distributor Exquisite Films. “Rodney Moore and David Lord have created a fantastic movie, which is as funny and sexy as it is politically charged,” E. said.

The plot sees Walt (Alec Knight), a university film studies professor diagnosed with terminal cancer and, worse, erectile disfunction, take California’s recent laws outlawing pornography production, distribution, and consumption and the banning of sexual enhancement drugs to heart. Armed with nothing but his wits, grounding in film theory, and a film student cum pornstar sidekick, Walt sets about rectifying the dismal state of sexual commerce stifling California’s collective libido.

Everyone – and I do mean everyone; at least, everyone I’ve ever discussed it with – seems to rave about Breaking Bad, and with Sweet Mess and Exquisite films gathering parody-fueled popularity after an hilarious take on The Addams Family, Breaking Bad XXX has a huge built-in audience and will likely be the only take on this phenomenally successful pop-culture property that I’ll bother with.

Breaking Bad XXX: A Sweet Mess Films Parody is out now and stars Alec Knight, Lexi Belle, Tasha Reign, Brandy Aniston, Kimberly Kane, Chanel Preston, Andy San Dimas, Eric Masterson, Steven St. Croix, Derrick Pierce, James Bartholet, and Ron Jeremy.