Axel Braun: Man of Iron

Iron Man XXX: An Axel Braun ParodyIt seems there’s no stopping the superhero movie juggernaut. Not only did Joss Whedon’s movie adaptation of Marvel’s The Avengers become the third highest-grossing film of all time soon after its May 2012 release, but it cemented plans for more Marvel properties to make the transition from printed page to silver screen and the already widespread availability of explicit adult parodies of said Marvel properties into overdrive. The undisputed king of porn parodies, Axel Braun has already turned his hand to Marvel characters more than once – his XXX interpretations of Spider-Man, She-Hulk, and The Avengers won rave reviews and confirmed porn parodies as the hottest ticket in town – and now the master is turning his hand to, of all things, the story of a dying man imprisoned in a suit of iron.

The success of two previous Iron Man films, along with Robert Downey, Jr.’s charisma, might’ve guaranteed a ton of pre-release interest for the forthcoming Iron Man 3, but such hype doesn’t always translate into sales of a derivative porn parody. With Braun’s track record, though, he’s not likely worried. The trailer for his upcoming Iron Man XXX parody has finally been unveiled and, boy, it doesn’t look like Braun’s pulled any punches this time around.

Iron Man XXX: An Axel Braun Parody stars Dale DaBone as billionaire industrialist Tony Stark and as his armored superhero alter-ego, Iron Man. DaBone is joined by superbabes Lexi Belle, Brooklyn Lee, Shazia Sahari, and Skin Diamond, with Lexington Steele reprising his crucial role as Nick Fury, director of S.H.I.E.L.D. But who landed the pivotal role as the movie’s villain, The Mandarin, played in the official film by Ben Kingsley, I can hear you asking? Watch the trailer, bro – it answers all your questions and raises a few new ones, all in preparation for the release of Iron Max XXX: An Axel Braun Parody next month.

Wanting The Old Days Back – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comMissy Pink,

I’m a 24 year old female and I haven’t had a lot of sexual experience, but I now have a steady boyfriend and we are very active in the bedroom. He’s a few years older, and even though I enjoy the personal things we share nearly every night, there is something missing. I remember in high school the way girls would take about going to first base, second base and so on, and I miss the excitement of those bases being rounded. There was something about the hiding and sneaking that added to the warm up for me and now that I have my own place and he can spend an entire night, it just seems as if it’s “normal” now and I’m not sure I want that.

Wanting The Old Days Back

Dear Wanting The Old Days Back,

You may think your issue is felt only by yourself and that something isn’t clicking right within you, but rest assured, you’re no different than anyone else, and many times that will go for both genders.

There was no mention of how long you and your boyfriend have been together, but no matter the time frame, it sounds like there may be a bit of a rut going on. Even though you’re left happy after being horny, there are a thousand paths that can lead to the same destination, and some of those avenues may carry that something extra that will make your arrival more filled with screaming, not just sighs.

Stimulation comes in many forms, and it doesn’t always have to be hardcore to get the job done. It sounds as if even though you don’t have a lot of experience, you do have pleasant memories of intimate times shared. Maybe it’s time you had a talk with your boyfriend, tell him you enjoy your sexual sessions, but now and then, you miss the playful part of foreplay. Or, if you’re not really the verbal type, then act upon your own whims.

The next time the two of you go to the grocery store, walk ahead of him a few paces, bend over a lot to get something from the bottom shelf, flash him your butt and long legs, let him feel a bit of stirring somewhere around the produce section and then continue your tease all the way to frozen foods. If you’re there to shop, then give him something to want to take home with him. Lean across to squeeze a cantaloupe for ripeness, and in doing so, allow your own melons to brush across his arm, he’ll feel the firmness and know that you’re ready to be plucked from the vine of erotica.

Nothing says everything has to remain as a routine, that’s the demise of so many relationships, and usually it falls upon the shoulders of one in a relationship to take the step and add some spice back into the saturation. The little flaunting and flirting you can share while roaming the aisles for discount prices on day old meat may be just the thing to have him sporting a boner that could put some of the cucumbers to shame. Act innocent, don’t let him know your advances were pre-meditated, and then, by the time you get to the vehicle, he’ll be looking at you through glazed donut type of eyes.

From there, keep it going, sit close, reach over and massage the rise in his Levi’s, slowly unzip his pants, set him free and then begin stroking him with a meticulous rhythm. Chances are, he’s going to drive right past your house, not wanting the feeling to stop yet, so, if you purchased perishables, toss a bag of ice in the trunk with them. Hike your skirt up, flash him your panties and let his own fingers do a bit of exploring. Your libido will be off the chart with that naughtiness of hitting third base once his finger slides deep inside your vaginal area. You may both experience an orgasm before the ice cream has time to soften, and then clear a path for the bedroom when you get home, each of you will be ready for a round of hardcore plunging.

There’s nothing wrong with keeping those delights of your puberty years, they’ll keep you young and full of cum through adulthood. Now, don’t you have a grocery list to make out?

Claire Robbins: Don’t Call it a Comeback!

Claire RobbinsBefore Katie St. Ives arrived on the LA porn scene and directed her piercing blue eyes down the barrel of every POV camera in town, solidifying her place in the mental spank-bank of thousands upon thousands of appreciative viewers, there was another young Californian attempting to cement her place in porn’s parade of amazingly sexual performers and she too had short sandy blonde hair, a disarming smile, and an apparently insatiable appetite for adventurous sex. That was Claire Robbins. She entertained and aroused her growing legion of fans from 2004 to around 2010 or 2011 and then seemed to exit porn as quietly as she’d entered, before she’d hooted and hollered her way through dozens upon dozens of intense anal piledrivers and demanding DPs. Deviants everywhere mourned the loss of another potential pornographic genius. Then, in the final weeks of 2012, this happened…

She’s back! Freshly inked with an Oakland A’s logo and two barely legible words on her inner elbows, and with a radically different hairstyle than her previous cropped ‘do, Claire Robbins returned to active porn duty with a blistering anal scene for Manuel Ferrara’s Evil Anal #17, her new look allowing her to slip past the sensors of many former fans. For a while, at least. After visiting San Francisco’s now infamous Kink headquarters to shoot an astounding seven scenes for the kinkiest company in porn. On Public Disgrace she had her ass plundered by man and woman and wooden bat in a haberdashery. For Fucking Machines she took on the Twininserter, the Hatchet, and the Intruder with vim and vigor. Her lilywhite behind took a beating from Maitresse Madeline in a live Whipped Ass shoot while Hardcore Gangbang saw Claire take on five guys in a vivid fantasy that had her imprisoned and physically abused in what appeared to be an immensely satisfying way roleplay. Everything Butt saw her team up with domme Krissy Lynn and fellow anal sub Bailey Blue for a dildo, speculum ‘n’ fisting party that saw everyones thighs twitching in orgasmic glee. It’s Claire’s two part, two day submission session for The Training of O that really impresses, though. Under the command of Jay Torque, the now-redheaded comeback cutie has her nipples clamped and stretched, all three main orifices pounded and gaped with all sorts of implements, cock included, is suspended from the ceiling by an elaborate rope construct, is chained to a heavy bucket and made to hold it while being whipped and spanked, and even has her ass opened by a metal plug while bound, gagged, and electro-pleasured with a Hitachi Magic Wand against her repeatedly cumming clitoris.

Holy shit, folks, fucking Claire Robbins is back in a big, big way – and what’s more, she shares my appreciation of union suits! (Only her ass looks a million times better in one that mine, I assure you.)

Claire Robbins