She Came, She Screwed, She Conquered: Brooklyn Lee

Brooklyn LeeIt’s not the worst idea to retire at the top: you retain legendary status since you haven’t fallen into mediocrity, you can return to your chosen industry as prominent as you left it, and you’ll always feel like your former colleagues would welcome you back. In porn, though, things often work a bit differently – thank the aging process for that. If recently announced retiree Brooklyn Lee ever decides to return to porn, she’ll do so as an XBIZ Female Performer of the Year and one of porn’s most compelling young performers.

When the 23-year-old Ohioan burst onto the scene in 2010’s Whores on the 14th under the watchful eye of director Belladonna, she wasted no time winning over a huge contingent of porno fanatics with her impressive oral and anal skills. Now, however, she shuffles off to begin another, more private phase of her life. As she focuses on her education and a relationship she says contributed to her decision to leave adult – “When you reach a point where you loathe heading to set because there’s only one person in the world you have any desire to have sex with, it’s time to move on from sex work…” – Lee hopes fans will look forward to her last performances in the forthcoming Vivid remake of classic Behind the Green Door and the follow up to John Stagliano’s acclaimed Voracious, due to start shooting later this month.

Every Little Thing at Brazzers

Jayden JaymesIn an apparent effort to keep viewers from watching scenes beginning to end and absorbing every little detail for themselves (even scenes like Jayden Jaymes’s recent soul-searching double-penetration episode of Real Wife Stories), Brazzers now offers the more goal-oriented viewers a full breakdown of what every scene entails, sexually speaking.

Adding to the recent implementation of a Jump to Action feature that, as detailed in late 2011 by Mr. Pink’s, allows viewers to skip straight to their preferred sexual activity with a simple mouse click, ), Brazzers now provides not only a full rundown of what happens in a given scene, but how much of the runtime is occupied by each act. Check out this image of what they’re calling Fuck Stats:

Brazzers Fuck Stats

The scene in question, a rather frenetic tag-team with Christy Mack and Madison Ivy, offers viewers almost six whole minutes of fellatio, most of it with both women providing the spit ‘n’ shine. Going down the list, prospective viewers into ass licking will note that it only makes a brief appearance. With this knowledge they might venture deeper into Brazzers’ archive to find another scene offering more attentive anilingus; perhaps even to another site.

But what of the joys of discovery that this new tool removes from the porn viewing equation? Once upon a time we’d hit ‘play’ with only a basic premise and cast list upon which to base our selection. Sure, plenty of those scenes chosen ended up being too boring or boner-killing to revisit, but many surprised us with hidden gems like oral creampies or brief anal excursions that we’d then discuss amongst our fellow viewers, solidifying a community and encouraging knowledgable contributions from all. Now, with Brazzers telling us exactly when, where, how, and for how long everything happens, some of the magic is disappearing and it’s all in the name of instant gratification. But then, that’s porn…

Cougar Hunter – Missy Pink’s Sex Advice

Missy Pinks at MrPinks.comMissy Pink,

I’m embarrassed to ask about this but I don’t want to talk about it to anyone I know. I’m 27 years old, my Dad got remarried about a year ago, to a woman more his age, 51, and much older than me. But that doesn’t stop me from fantasizing about her. I’ve never thought of a mature woman before, but there’s something about her that drives me crazy. I think she has thoughts too, a few times she’s brushed her boobs against me and even played footsy under the table, which makes me have to masturbate to get rid of the hard-on she causes. Am I a terrible guy or just a bad boy?

– Cougar Hunter

Dear Cougar Hunter;

Well, I can honestly say, you’re not the first male to be attracted to, an older women, we cougars do know how to flirt in a way that will make your blue jeans suddenly feel quite stiff in the front.  Normally it happens during high school, when the hormones are raging and you’re carrying your books from class to class in front of you to hide the erection you’re sporting and can’t get to go down. A buddy’s hot Mom, or a certain teacher that looks delicious with her glasses perched on her nose, a deep cleavage showing from the front of her blouse, and of course those long legs that are crossed when she sits on the front of her desk to make a point, yes, normally at that age of budding puberty, a stiff wind will cause the same reaction for you.

Now, it seems to me, with you being a bit older, that doesn’t rule out the fact that a MILF can always bring fantasy and desire, but, you’re certainly old enough to not want to play in your Dad’s sandbox. If your step-Mom is flirting with you as well, shame on her. She’s taking advantage of your presumed stamina and stiffness, not to mention feeding her own ego as an older woman that can still cause a younger man to jack-off with thoughts of her on his mind.

There are certain, unspoken rules in life that offer imaginary boundary lines not to be crossed, and having wild, unbridled, hardcore sex with your Dad’s wife would certainly be on the list. I’m sure in your mind she is so hot and stimulating, that when all the blood rushes from your brain to your testicles, the moral aspect is lost somewhere between those two areas, but, for just one moment, once you’ve managed to bring yourself to an orgasm, think about what it would be like afterwards. Would you feel guilt? Would she? Would you want to do it again or would you feel so badly over the adultery aspect that it would put a strain on the family dynamics? Let’s face it, the next backyard cookout could be a bit uncomfortable, would you be passing the potato salad or making a pass at your step-Mom?

If you’re truly that turned on by the fact it’s an older women, there are plenty others in the world, you’re eyes have been opened, now all you have to do is look. There’s nothing wrong with desiring the mature and sexy creature that you know will have the erotic experience to make you feel as you have never felt before, and, at the same time, you’re proving to her that she doesn’t belong in the kitchen baking cookies, but rather draped across your bed, ready for you to bring the youthful pleasure one more time. But, something tells me, it’s the taboo side of the fact this is your Dad’s wife, it makes her off limits, it makes it so hot and naughty, the act of sneaking, the wild heat that courses through your veins at the possibility of getting caught, all of those fetish filled feelings that make you want her even more. If that’s the case, then allow your mind to catch up to the age of your body…. grow up, don’t ruin the relationship between you and your Father.

If she’s coming on to you as well, then I’d say Dad already has problems he’s not aware of yet, and, if you don’t act upon her offers, then someone else probably will, and she’ll keep looking, but if it comes out that she’s not as faithful as he thought, don’t compound his pain by knowing his own son betrayed him as well as his wife.  He gave her a ring, but he gave you life.

Two New Angel Directors Debut

Asa Akira gangbang

After years of following the orders of others, two of porn’s most esteemed performers are on the verge of becoming noted directors. Reigning AVN Female Performer of the Year Asa Akira and crossover man of the hour, James Deen, are headed to Elegant Angel and Evil Angel respectively to push their careers into a whole new realm.

After winning the 2013 AVN Award for Female Performer of the Year and co-hosting the illustrious gala event, it seemed Asa Akira had it all. It is now clearly, however, that she wasn’t about to rest on her prestigious laurels. Having shot three movies with Elegant Angel for the Asa Akira is Insatiable series, choosing to direct for the same company that pushed her performing to bold new heights was an easy decision. Elegant Angel owner, Patrick Collins calls Akira “the real deal” and cites her authenticity and daring as just two of the reasons she’ll be a great director. Akira’s first effort behind the camera will focus on her personal favorite pornographic niche, the gangbang, and follow the premise set by the five earlier volumes of Elegant Angel’s Gangbanged series: two women each taking on seven men in a pair of no-holes-barred carnal clusterfucks that, with Asa at the helm, are sure to make for powerful viewing.

James Deen, 2013’s XBIZ and AVN Male Performer of the Year and the most promising crossover performer in recent memory, has already directed nearly a dozen features for Burning Angel and his own James Deen Productions, but now he steps into a new phase of his directing career, joining the likes of Belladonna, Manuel Ferrara, Rocco Siffredi, and John Stagliano as an Evil Angel director. Evil Angel General Manager Christian Mann noted that Deen wasn’t hired for his current surge in mainstream popularity but for simply making movies that appeal to EA chief Stagliano’s “innate sense of what makes good smut”, saying “I’m happy to say James Deen’s directorial efforts have met that standard.”

Deen’s Evil Angel debut, James Deen Loves Butts stars Dana DeArmond, Jessie Rogers, and Mason Moore (as well as Deen himself) and is set for a July release. Akira’s directorial debut, the sixth installment of Elegant Angel’s infamous Gangbanged series, is set to begin photography very soon with a release date yet to be announced.

When Is a Pseudo-Celebrity Teen Mom’s Sex Tape Not a Sex Tape?

Farrah Abraham's sex tape"Few were surprised when tabloid news outlets began reporting that Farrah Abraham, star of MTV’s Teen Mom, would be the subject of a “leaked sex tape”. “Private” footage of pseudo-celebrities having sex has become another blatantly obvious attention grabbing technique used by those struggling to remain in the fading spotlight or seeking to make a name for themselves without any discernible talents or worthwhile attributes (except an enticing body) and Ms. Abraham’s star certainly wasn’t on the ascent after her Teen Mom stint. What makes this case of celebrity skin slightly different is that, while many suspected the sex tapes of Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Tila Tequila were as phony as penile growth supplements, Abraham’s case is so riddled with inconsistencies, professional touches, and absurd statements from the source that it couldn’t possibly be regarded as remotely authentic.

1. Abraham claims the tape was made for her own personal use yet later said she’d not sell the movie for “anything less than a couple million”, a clear sign of her true intentions.

2. “Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom” co-stars James Deen, the single most popular, most famous, and most newsworthy male adult performer currently working. Who hires a porn stud for a private recording?

3. The sex scene, which runs about 42 minutes, is identical in most respects to any POV hardcore scene you’d find on Porn Pros or Reality Kings, from the lighting, lack of cutting, and roaming camerawork to Abraham’s rote, sterile attempts at teasing and seduction.

4. Deen, a man of no small girth, manages to enter Abraham’s titular “backdoor” without much of a warmup and almost no lubrication. That’s not real couple anal sex, folks, that’s porno anal sex.

5. To the ire of Abraham and her remarkably supportive, devoutly Christian father, Deen told various tabloid outlets that the whole point of the shoot was to “leak” a phoney “sex tape”. The Abraham family has called Deen “an opportunist”, clearly overestimating Farrah’s pop culture prominence while underestimating his.

Nevertheless, Abraham is insisting that the tape, which can now be seen online at Vivid Entertainment, was shot without a commercial release in mind. Now that her deal with Vivid has been inked, though, she seems content to be a daughter, mother, self-tanning addict, and talking point for at least the next week.

Still, reports from New York Post and TMZ claim Vivid’s servers were inundated with 2 million visitors within 12 hours of posting, so to what do we chalk up her millions of hits? It’s simple: morbid curiosity, James Deen, and the seemingly universal appeal of fucking celebrities in the ass.