Bing the Porn Search King!

Google. Google. Google. That’s all you fucking hear these days. You ask some local buddy with decent taste if they can recommend a restaurant and they grab their phone, start typing, then regurgitate some shit spat out by the net’s most beloved search engine without even checking to see if it’s worthwhile. Pretty much the only time most Internet users believe Google to be anything other than a lifeline connecting them to the very fabric of the modern world is when it comes to porn. Look up some porn on Google and let me know if you find anything worthwhile. Yes, I’ll wait.

search comparison

“Sunny Lane blowjob pov” typed into Google and Bing’s respective search fields (with SafeSearch turned completely off) saw results that are definitely not as similar as one might assume. Google returned results in a text-only mess of links to illegal tube sites with brief low quality videos. Bing, on the other hand, included a few such tube sites but also returned in second position a direct link to Sunny’s official website, home to high-quality photos and HD videos. The most pleasing element of Bing’s returned search results, though, is the use of images. Links to video streams, official previews and trailers, and online galleries are offered in thumbnail form. These small pics are pixilated for censorship reasons, yes, but once SafeSearch is disabled, you’re led to a tantalizing menu of Sunny’s best work. Google, on the other hand, returned its results as text links and, when Google Images and Google Video results were selected, we found not the useful graphic links to actual content provided by Bing, but image links leading to pop-ups, advertising barrages, and dead pages. Hardly the stellar work we’ve come to expect from the world’s leading search engine. But then, back in 2012 Google altered its search algorithms to filter out explicit content the company claims might not be the intended result of the search. (Searching “boobs” gets you clothed breasts; more specifically, “hot sexy naked boobs tits fuck” gets you nudity.) Search for simplified sexual terms at Bing, however, and your results are much easier on the eye. See?

search for boobs

And, if this gif by Redditor is on the right track, Bing might also be a workplace built on communal expressions of sexual pleasure, which would make their fondness for – or at least acceptance of – pornographic material that much more of a relief. It’s conjecture that suggests Bing’s employees are, after all, just wankers like us.

bing workplace
 

My Special Wartime Buddy

My Buddy: World War II Laid BareAmericans love their war heroes. If you don’t, maybe you’re not really an American! Our veterans left their homes and families (and, in many cases, a poverty-stricken future) to fight on the front lines in the battle for peace and global supremacy, many of them losing life or limb in the unbelievably brutal process. Still, love them dearly though we may, there’s plenty left unrevealed about The Greatest Generation… like how great their asses were.

Asses

In commemoration of the 70th anniversary of D-Day, Taschen Books has announced the September 2014 release of ‘My Buddy: World War II Laid Bare’, a collection of more than 500 photographs sourced and compiled by Los Angeles photographer Michael Stokes. Edited by noted men’s magazine producer and Taschen veteran Dian Hanson, My Buddy depicts the close relationships formed under the barrage of artillery fire. As encouraged by their commanding officers, ground troops formed “buddy” relationships with each other that ensured they had someone to rely on for emotional support. In times of great, even inhuman stress, playtime is usually a gosh darn riot! And, when your playmates are all strapping young 18, 19, 20-year-old fellas fighting for home and country, it’s pretty easy on the eyes too.

soldiers

In his introduction, ex-Marine and author of Hollywood sexploit memoir Full Service, Scotty Bowers, lays it out in its most basic terms: “You close your eyes for a little bit, but don’t really sleep. It’s raining. You’re wet and it rains, frankly, every day and every night. Some guys huddle together, some don’t, but this is when the buddy bonding starts. You need somebody you can depend on, and they can depend on you. You can tell the type of buddy that you’d want to be with in a foxhole: Someone who is on the ball. Someone who’s not going to get upset and nervous.”

Eschewing the combat photography that has become a staple of WWII tributes and remembrances in favor of showing what a grunt’s downtime might involve – communal bathing, sandy oceanside frolicking, makeshift mountaintop showers, impromptu beefcake shoots on equipment cases, naked rainforest romps during the Guadalcanal campaign, and just plain ol’ semi-naked hand-holding – My Buddy aims to shed a little light on the underreported romances (platonic or otherwise) that spring up where you might least (or most, depending on your perspective on men-in-uniform) expect it: the trenches of War World II.

R.I.P. Billy Glide: Snakebite or Otherwise

Male adult performers don’t seem to care to compare themselves and their penises to each others’. When you’re one of porn’s premiere studs, I suppose an extra inch doesn’t matter all that much. The fans that so fervently (and totally not homoerotically at all) discuss the size of porno dick usually only focus on length, even though it is reportedly girth that makes the most difference in sensation for the woman. If penile girth was included in such discussions, porn fans around the world would be very emotional right now, grieving for the loss of one of porn’s thickest and most reliable men.

Billy Glide

Billy Glide, born Tad Nolen in 1970, began his career in adult entertainment in his twenty-fifth year and promptly caused his female co-stars to quiver in excitement. It wasn’t just his impressive wang that got Glide hired by top producers for almost twenty years; his masculine charm, his intelligence, his diligent work ethic and good humor all helped earn Glide a reputation as one of porn’s “nice guys” even when co-stars cursed and resisted his engorged appendage. Reportedly passing away from an untreated rattlesnake bite, Glide was later said to have died from a suspected drug overdose on May 25th at his home in Huntington Beach, California. While the rumor mill continues to churn and personal recollections of time spent in the company of the deceased, we at Mr. Pink’s simply ask you, our devoted readers, to pay your respects to Tad Nolen in a few of his many sterling performances for Naughty America, Brazzers, and Bang Bros, as the irrepressible, the irreplaceable Billy Glide.

Braun 4 Condoms

Axel Braun Wicked Pictures

Porn’s most acclaimed working director and the recipient of four AVN Awards for Director of the Year, Axel Braun, has followed his October 2013 decision to restrict his hired performers to those over the age of 21 with another major change to his blossoming Axel Braun Productions empire, namely the use of condoms and stricter STD testing.

Braun outlined his reasons for taking Wicked Pictures’ condom-only policy to his own studio to AVN: “The recent series of HIV outbreaks is a clear indication that something needs to be done in order to protect our talent pool and prevent this from happening again,” he said. Placing the safety of performers and his own integrity above his bottom line, Braun says the current system of STD/HIV testing is inadequate and needs adjustments such as his, saying “I have finally come to believe that our system is broken, and I’m simply trying to do what I can to fix it on my end.”

Another measure Braun is implementing to keep his sets as safe as possible focuses on the STD/HIV tests themselves. Current industry standards limit performers from working when they’re unable to produce a clean bill of sexual health less than 14 days old. Braun’s self-set standards will only accept tests no older than seven days, and if a performer cannot produce one Braun says he’ll pay for it himself. “It wouldn’t be fair for me to advocate performer safety and then ignore the most obviously effective STD/HIV barrier, or place the burden of additional costs on the very people I’m trying to protect.”

Axel Braun, you just may be someone’s hero today.

Amazon Nixes Pornstar Tributes

Now, I may be a light sex addict (or at least excessively aroused) but the thing that has me yearning for a career in porn isn’t the amount of sex I’d be having, nor the money I’d be making, nor all the weed I’d pilfer from my close personal friend Madison Ivy. By far the most appealing aspect of being an adult performer, the tendency for fans to indulge your material desires as declared by your Amazon Wish List, is what has me convinced I could be quite happy in porn. After all, there’s only so many trivial things I’m inclined to buy with my wages and it seems I’m not alone there. Adult performers both fledgling and superstar are seeing their Wish Lists come under scrutiny from Amazon’s higher-ups, echoing JPMorgan Chase’s recent closing of accounts belonging to adult performers. But, really, Amazon? The same site from which you can buy tinned unicorn meat, an infant circumcision training doll (with replaceable foreskins), Lil’ Ho Peep and Her (inflatable) Sheep, and a 55 gallon drum of Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant is preventing fans from buying their favorite adult performer gifts?

Tanya Tate

As reported by The Daily Dot, Amazon notified popular adult performer and cosplayer Tanya Tate of the reasons behind the closure only when she called to complain about her Wish List’s deletion. “They told me it was being used for ‘bartering purposes,’ because I’d written in the description, like, ‘Send me gifts and I’ll send you a thank you or pictures of me wearing this dress or lingerie.’” Pretty standard practice for adult models and webcammers, right? Well, not in the eyes of Amazon, who also saw fit to delete Tate’s Wish List when she re-added it to her profile sans-offending text, taking the rest of her account, gift card balances and all, offline in the process. Another phone call and an email to Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos didn’t move the online retail giant’s position from a decidedly sex-negative one. “In my opinion, they were just refusing to allow to me have a wish list because I’m an adult star,” Tate told the Daily Dot. “There’s no reason for it other than discrimination…”

Tanya Tate wasn’t the only adult performer to have her Wish List dumped by Amazon. Cam model Emma Ink also saw hers disappear, but for slightly different reasons: the items on her list were deemed “inappropriate” by Amazon, the same store returning 400 pages of results for a basic “Dildo” search query. “These adult items are for sale on Amazon and one does not need to be logged in or provide any information to be able to view them,” said Ink. ““If Amazon finds sexuality or pornography objectionable, perhaps they should stop selling sex toys and pornographic DVDs.”

Obviously there’s more to this story than simply a company defending its terms of service, but just how aggressively are adult performers being targeted? Tune in next week as I dig deeper into this little drama that has pornstars, cam models, and fans in a minor tizzy.