Sexing Up Breaking Bad

Breaking Bad XXXBeing a relatively minor player in the porn parody game hasn’t stopped Sweet Mess Films from tackling a critically acclaimed, almost universally revered television show that has been personally one of the greatest television shows I have ever seen – and the company has landed some top talent, too, with Lexi Belle, Tasha Reign, Brandy Aniston, and Presidential write-in candidate Ron Jeremy all nabbing roles. The title? Breaking Bad XXX: A Sweet Mess Films Parody.

Rodney Moore, an AVN Hall of Fame luminary and keen observer of the state of the adult industry, wrote the script to this, the first Breaking Bad porn parody, as a commentary on the looming threat Measure B held over the porn world, but he and director David Lord have managed to infuse the movie with plenty of laughs and libidinous activity, too, according to Jerry E., owner of distributor Exquisite Films. “Rodney Moore and David Lord have created a fantastic movie, which is as funny and sexy as it is politically charged,” E. said.

The plot sees Walt (Alec Knight), a university film studies professor diagnosed with terminal cancer and, worse, erectile disfunction, take California’s recent laws outlawing pornography production, distribution, and consumption and the banning of sexual enhancement drugs to heart. Armed with nothing but his wits, grounding in film theory, and a film student cum pornstar sidekick, Walt sets about rectifying the dismal state of sexual commerce stifling California’s collective libido.

Everyone – and I do mean everyone; at least, everyone I’ve ever discussed it with – seems to rave about Breaking Bad, and with Sweet Mess and Exquisite films gathering parody-fueled popularity after an hilarious take on The Addams Family, Breaking Bad XXX has a huge built-in audience and will likely be the only take on this phenomenally successful pop-culture property that I’ll bother with.

Breaking Bad XXX: A Sweet Mess Films Parody is out now and stars Alec Knight, Lexi Belle, Tasha Reign, Brandy Aniston, Kimberly Kane, Chanel Preston, Andy San Dimas, Eric Masterson, Steven St. Croix, Derrick Pierce, James Bartholet, and Ron Jeremy.

Attell Back with More Old Porn

Dave's Old PornNo comedian has made more blatant his love of sexual deviancy than Dave Attell. The two-time AVN Awards host hasn’t just hobnobbed with porn’s best and brightest, he’s already figured out a way to watch porn professionally. With one well received season already in the can and a second premiering this past week, Showtime’s couch-bound comedy show Dave’s Old Porn sees the standup inviting guests to sit with him and watch vintage pornographic movies from the days of Super8, VHS, and Betamax. While not the most interesting concept on paper, in practice the show’s a riot that blends Mystery Science Theater 3000 commentary with interviews that, thanks to guests like Kathy Griffin, Joe Rogan, Chelsea Handler, Marc Maron, and porn stars both active and retired, Ginger Lynn, Joanna Angel, Nina Hartley, Tom Byron, and Ron Jeremy, are as riotous as they are revealing.

Talking to Men’s Health on the eve of the show’s second season premiere, Attell revealed that the idea for Dave’s Old Porn came after “four years of drinking and walking around in the rain” on his Comedy Central show Insomniac, when he decided his next TV gig should omit heavy weather and include, preferably, “a lot of porn.” While cum-showers are definitely on the cards, most of the golden age goodies Attell and his guests watch and riff on are precipitate-free, leaving commentators to focus, not surprisingly, on the differences between vintage porn and the contemporary adult entertainment scene.

Calling today’s porn “super hardcore… it looks more like an MMA fight”, Attell asserts that, although we may make fun of them now, the more character-driven porno narratives of yore had viewers finding themselves actually caring about the people doing the fucking. “You really fall in love with the girls, and the guys were like chameleons. Ron Jeremy was a flight attendant, a plumber, a secret agent… the range of that guy! Robert DeNiro cannot do what Ron Jeremy does.” And, more importantly, few people want to see him try.

Dave’s Old Porn continues its second season Thursday at 11pm ET on Showtime.

EPISODE 201 Teaser 1 from GigglechickInteractive on Vimeo.

Esquire Crowns Queen Mila

Mila Kunis may have started off with a small role in Baywatch way back in 1994 but she’s now regarded as one of the sexiest young actresses in Hollywood. In fact, she’s just been christened the Sexiest Woman Alive by Esquire magazine.

Mila Kunis

The men’s lifestyle bible’s annual charting of the ups and downs of models, actresses, and celebrity personalities who’ve made our knees quiver settled on Kunis as the preeminent babe of 2012 not just because she’s got the bangingest body or flashes the most sultry, come-hither looks, but because she’s “the most beautiful, opinionated, talkative, and funny” movie star of her generation. Discussing her career and relatively young life (she’s 29) with Esquire’s Ross McCammon, Kunis suggests her story of immigration to superstardom is not unlike those of many other young Jewish women living in Los Angeles’ Fairfax district, albeit without the fame and all that comes with it. Her fetishized story of emigrating from Ukraine to escape anti-semitism has contributed much to her aura of worldliness and cemented her place, for better or worse, as one of the more “exotic” American starlets in Hollywood today. Of course, her signature smokey eyes, husky voice (which has wormed its way into millions of American homes via her character Meg on Family Guy), and intellectual leanings (she follows international politics, especially that of Israel, quite closely and enthuses over her bookcases: “Check out these bookcases!”) don’t hurt one bit.

Still, there’s something vague and distant about Kunis. It’s as if she wants to play at being down-to-Earth while remaining closely guarded, even distant. In the end, though, she took off her shirt for Esquire – you can see the full photoshoot here – and for most guys, that’s all that matters.